re: How do you answer a business phone call?

Hello, this is John.

Delta Delta Delta..can I help ya help ya help ya?!

Hello, Sir or Ma’am. How May I help you?

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Hello, this is John.

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It's very disarming (in a good way) to come out of the gate like this. I do the exact same, it's like forcing them to justify why they called. We got Slack, Teams, email, text, and "why the frick did you call me," is exactly my tone.

I don't accept inbound calls unless they're in a contact list, which is a luxury you probably don't have, but even when I turn off my spam call blocker in expectation of a recruiter call (I always ask to call them instead), same answer.

You can start to recognize the area code and exchange (the first six numbers) sometimes and use greetings that put people nicely off guard, like, "Hi, I'm Lemmy, are you in Geismar?"

But in general, "Hi, this is Lemmy." Nobody listens to "from the identity management helpdesk" or "from US Navy hull welding services," they just have a problem they expect you to solve, so I've always found it wasted effort to go into details. Even location is kind of worthless, because nobody knows if their support people are in Pascagoula, Morgan City, etc.

Morehouse Whorehouse you pay we lay?

Unknown caller: CompanyNameThisIsFCP.

Known caller: Bob! What can I do for you?

Co-worker: What the frick do you want? I'm busy.

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When you answer a phone call that you know is a business call how do you answer?

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Tu' quiere Taco Bell?