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Message
re: Honest to God true story you experienced that you don't think the OT will believe
Posted on 9/16/22 at 4:28 pm to chambers538
Posted on 9/16/22 at 4:28 pm to chambers538
quote:you dont have to run faster than the bear...
I thought we were for sure goners, or at least one of us was.
0
Posted on 9/16/22 at 4:41 pm to CAD703X
In the early 1990's I was at a small company dinner for customers and wives at the Cadillac Bar in Houston.
In those days the place was packed with oilfield types and hot freelance hostesses selling tequila, flowers, and so on.
In walked the most striking flower girl I'd ever seen, in a skin-tight, high-cut red one-piece swimsuit and carrying an enormous bunch of red roses.
Suddenly the flower girl screams, "Cousin 'Becca!" and starts running toward our table.
She pulls my wife (no pics) up from the table and starts hugging her.
My wife then introduces me to her heretofore unknown second cousin, the flower girl.
God bless Texan women.
In those days the place was packed with oilfield types and hot freelance hostesses selling tequila, flowers, and so on.
In walked the most striking flower girl I'd ever seen, in a skin-tight, high-cut red one-piece swimsuit and carrying an enormous bunch of red roses.
Suddenly the flower girl screams, "Cousin 'Becca!" and starts running toward our table.
She pulls my wife (no pics) up from the table and starts hugging her.
My wife then introduces me to her heretofore unknown second cousin, the flower girl.
God bless Texan women.
Posted on 9/16/22 at 4:46 pm to WB Davis
quote:i remember the tequila shot girl there very fondly
Cadillac Bar in Houston
Posted on 9/16/22 at 4:49 pm to DaGarun
quote:
That's a bold statement, CAD
Damn i forgot you were around for some of the crazy shite i got caught up in.
True story: dagurun and i are personally responsible for vandy banning pre-game tailgates after a notorious one we had for the Florida game 11 years ago.
I absolutely won't tell that story.
Posted on 9/16/22 at 4:49 pm to CAD703X
I worked at OfficeMax in 2003, while I was a 17 yr old HS kid. Only high schooler that worked there. Every other adult employee was a complete cartoon character.
The GM was a former AAA baseball player, who quit ball to join the Ice Capades.
The guy that ran the copy department in the back, I’m convinced was a serial killer who would draw caricature pictures of other employees and randomly give them to that person, unsolicited.
The Assistant GM was by far the biggest loser of the bunch. This fool was about 5’3, 130 pounds soaking wet, absolute white trash moron. He first told me about his ‘long distance relationship’ one night when we were closing, I didn’t think much of it, nor had I asked.
Fast forward a bit and he begins telling me more about the relationship. He confides in me that it’s an ‘internet relationship’ and that he’s never actually met said woman, but they’ve been virtually dating on AIM for a year. Then the poor fricker busts out about 75+ wallet sized, Sears glamour shot photos from his stupid OfficeMax polo shirt chest pocket. He kept these on him at all times evidently.
She wasn’t a terrible looking woman, but I noticed that all the pictures were from the chest up. So I jokingly said him, ‘are you sure this lady has legs???’
About 2 months later it’s about to be Valentines Day, and Assistant GM boy is super stoked at work, and tells me she’s coming to visit for a week. He’s gone all out on the decorations and planned all sorts of cool stuff, according to him.
A few days later my guy actually brings her into fricking OfficeMax to meet his ‘work family’.
And sure as the sun shines, old gal had a fricking peg leg. And it wasn’t a fancy one either. I’ll never forget the creaking and clacking sound that thing made as he walked her around the empty OfficeMax store.
The GM was a former AAA baseball player, who quit ball to join the Ice Capades.
The guy that ran the copy department in the back, I’m convinced was a serial killer who would draw caricature pictures of other employees and randomly give them to that person, unsolicited.
The Assistant GM was by far the biggest loser of the bunch. This fool was about 5’3, 130 pounds soaking wet, absolute white trash moron. He first told me about his ‘long distance relationship’ one night when we were closing, I didn’t think much of it, nor had I asked.
Fast forward a bit and he begins telling me more about the relationship. He confides in me that it’s an ‘internet relationship’ and that he’s never actually met said woman, but they’ve been virtually dating on AIM for a year. Then the poor fricker busts out about 75+ wallet sized, Sears glamour shot photos from his stupid OfficeMax polo shirt chest pocket. He kept these on him at all times evidently.
She wasn’t a terrible looking woman, but I noticed that all the pictures were from the chest up. So I jokingly said him, ‘are you sure this lady has legs???’
About 2 months later it’s about to be Valentines Day, and Assistant GM boy is super stoked at work, and tells me she’s coming to visit for a week. He’s gone all out on the decorations and planned all sorts of cool stuff, according to him.
A few days later my guy actually brings her into fricking OfficeMax to meet his ‘work family’.
And sure as the sun shines, old gal had a fricking peg leg. And it wasn’t a fancy one either. I’ll never forget the creaking and clacking sound that thing made as he walked her around the empty OfficeMax store.
Posted on 9/16/22 at 4:58 pm to 777Tiger
quote:
I believe you baw. I’ve done some incredible shite with flight attendants over a forty year career. I’m not posting them because they are so wild that most of the 14 year old virgins on here wouldn’t believe them.
What about the 40 year old virgins? They may want to read about them. And by 40yo virgins, I mean the gentlemen that are married and over 40.
Posted on 9/16/22 at 4:59 pm to CAD703X
Was stationed with a guy in Wyoming who bought a car and didn't get his license plate after his three month temp tags were expired. Boss ripped off his temp tags and took his keys because he kept driving it around. He broke into the office, took his keys and took a trip to Lansing, Michigan to see his online girlfriend. He made it all the way there and back with no license plate without being stopped. He was two days late for work though.
Posted on 9/16/22 at 5:03 pm to WB Davis
quote:
early 1990's... Cadillac Bar in Houston.
Was a hoppin' place.
Posted on 9/16/22 at 5:05 pm to cheobode
Too many stories too little time lol
Posted on 9/16/22 at 5:05 pm to Cdawg
quote:we absolutely must have run into each other.
early 1990's... Cadillac Bar in Houston.
Was a hoppin' place.
Cadillac bar was my pregame before heading to power tools or emos. If i pregamed at club no minors i didn't remember anything except waking up the next day.
Posted on 9/16/22 at 5:12 pm to CAD703X
Had a Urologist show me an image of what a patient came in with. He had a glue stick in his bladder. His wife got frisky and stuck a glue stick in his urethra. It went all the way.
Posted on 9/16/22 at 7:18 pm to Auburn80
We had an Executive Admin at my last job who was mid-40s, tall, blonde and very top-heavy.
When she was going through her divorce, her soon-to-be-ex sent an email to the entire executive staff and Board of Directors with a subject line of "This is the type of person you employ!"
Attached were several pics of her in various stages of undress and positions.
One of them was her straddling a guy wearing nothing but a green cap and pointing a gun at the camera.
They were real...and spectacular.
ETA - she kept her job and a couple of years later, moved to another state. I'm still connected to her on LinkedIn.
When she was going through her divorce, her soon-to-be-ex sent an email to the entire executive staff and Board of Directors with a subject line of "This is the type of person you employ!"
Attached were several pics of her in various stages of undress and positions.
One of them was her straddling a guy wearing nothing but a green cap and pointing a gun at the camera.
They were real...and spectacular.
ETA - she kept her job and a couple of years later, moved to another state. I'm still connected to her on LinkedIn.
This post was edited on 9/16/22 at 7:19 pm
Posted on 9/16/22 at 10:06 pm to CAD703X
The OT didn’t believe my hot female cop story until I produced the ticket with her writing on it. She said she “wouldn’t mind seeing me again, just not speeding”. She was a legit OT 8.5.
Posted on 9/16/22 at 10:09 pm to schatman
quote:
No, they didn't.
Yeah they did. All that shite and you think THATS the part that’s unbelievable? Lol. They let me get away with “not knowing” a dam thing about myself. They knew I was full of shite. They thought the whole thing was hilarious. Especially the part where I got caught, my buddy was too scared to jump off the roof and got caught and then the cop asks “where’s the girl??” As he’s asking, I can see her hiding in the bushes. Trying to help her get away and clearly not thinking, I say “what girl? It’s just us.” Cop stops, says “so what you’re sayin is it was just you 2 guys up there on the roof…naked?”. Next words out my mouth were “LOOK SHE’S RIGHT THERE…IN THOSE BUSHES!”. She broke her foot jumping off the roof. Came to my apt the next day to get her purse on crutches. Awkward.
This post was edited on 9/16/22 at 10:20 pm
Posted on 9/16/22 at 10:13 pm to Hopeful Doc
quote:
They take soliciting prostitutes very seriously in Dallas.
Excuse me? I tipped that much because the wings were crispy and well seasoned.
Posted on 9/16/22 at 10:13 pm to CAD703X
After 5 pages did we get a name for the chick in the OP? For research purposes.
Posted on 9/16/22 at 10:49 pm to Tbonepatron
quote:
Mewelde Moore.
Found his wedding ring on the cart path at Sherwood Forrest Country Club 15ish years ago. Dude has an issue with losing stuff it seems lmao. Super nice guy though, and a decent golfer if I remember correctly.
Posted on 9/16/22 at 11:29 pm to Jim Rockford
I was young. Around seven perhaps. I was hearing a lot of bs about God. About God being a woman and shite. As a kid that messes with your head.
So as I was pondering this matter in a warm bath, I decided to just ask God if he was a man or a woman. For woman, I asked him to knock over the shampoo bottle. For man, I asked him to knock over the wash cloth hanging over the faucet.
Well, nothing happened at first. But after a few minutes, the wash cloth fell into the water.
You can say the wash cloth was more likely to fall than the shampoo bottle, and I agree, but the fact is, the wash cloth did fall into the water.
I talked to God a lot more back then. I wish I would do more of that today. And having faith he will actually answer.
So as I was pondering this matter in a warm bath, I decided to just ask God if he was a man or a woman. For woman, I asked him to knock over the shampoo bottle. For man, I asked him to knock over the wash cloth hanging over the faucet.
Well, nothing happened at first. But after a few minutes, the wash cloth fell into the water.
You can say the wash cloth was more likely to fall than the shampoo bottle, and I agree, but the fact is, the wash cloth did fall into the water.
I talked to God a lot more back then. I wish I would do more of that today. And having faith he will actually answer.
Posted on 9/16/22 at 11:38 pm to CAD703X
I was in the Navy in the early 90’s. Shared a roommate with two other dudes. One of them brought home a band he had went and seen from his hometown. Me and the other roommate were pissed with all the noise and threatened to kick their arse and they bounced. That band ended up being Green Day.
Posted on 9/16/22 at 11:39 pm to Langland
It used to not rain on me. The amount of times it was raining but then suddenly stopped when I got off the school bus or getting out of a car or coming out of a building became uncanny.
It doesn't happen as often as it used to. I now carry an umbrella in the car.
It doesn't happen as often as it used to. I now carry an umbrella in the car.
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