re: Has marriage counseling ever worked?

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If your wife wants a divorce then there’s little point in trying to get counseling.

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Fact. Nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women. This proved to be 100 % in my case.

If the wife wants it to.

One of the biggest reasons it fails is that the parties agreed/decided to go far too late in the process. A high number of couples walk into counseling past the point of no return. This is often a result of one party being against it until it becomes a last-ditch effort.

Sometimes. My old neighbor cheated on his wife and they went to a priest a bunch. They ended up getting really in to Latin mass and going on retreats with other troubled couples. Now she wears a veil and dresses like she's on little house on the Prarie. They seem happy.

My advice is that if the two of you are going to be in counseling together then you each need to have your own individual counselor. You are each going to hear shite you do not want to hear and are not going to know how to preocess some of the the stuff that comes out. This part is fairly personal to you and you may need someone to bounce this stuff off of. I know many folks are anti-counseling, but truthfully a good counselor is simply someone that helps you navigate through some of your own thought processes and helps you understand the "why" of things you do or say that may not be the most productive.

Good luck, man. If she was worth marrying then she is worth fighting for.

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Didn't work for me. My wife and I went because I was having a crisis and reverted to partying with friends around a nearby college. Was pretty immature. At the sessions I was told I could say anything but that wasn't true. When I lamented that being married freaked me out a bit because it meant I was going to have sex with only one woman the remainder of my life things got uncomfortable. I kept going as encouraged by the therapist and mentioned how the day before I had been wondering what type of underwear our Olive Garden waitress was wearing and well, that was it for my wife. We separated.

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I love this place

Read up on the 5 love languages before you go. Wish I had read and understood the differences years ago.

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When I lamented that being married freaked me out a bit because it meant I was going to have sex with only one woman the remainder of my life things got uncomfortable. I kept going as encouraged by the therapist and mentioned how the day before I had been wondering what type of underwear our Olive Garden waitress was wearing and well, that was it for my wife. We separated.

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May be counter here, but I think this is proof it did work.

A woman has a right to not want to be married to someone who is down and out about not being able to frick other women. If you want to frick other women, why did you get married?

I know there will be 10 people who read that and hit the reply button before reading this part. I'm not saying you shouldn't be looking at other people. My wife knows I look at other women and want to frick them. I know my wife looks at other guys and wants to frick them. We have said as much to one another. The difference is we know that time in our life is over. That's why we got married. And I can only speak for myself, but when I think about actually falling into something new, the entire scenario plays out in my head and 100% of the time it's not worth it to deceive and throw away a person I love more than anyone else.

In response to the OP, I once read something from an alleged marriage counselor that said something like 90% of couples they see go to marriage counseling after it's too late. They go to seek validation from a stranger on all the reasons their partner is the root of their issues.

The reality is that unless you're being abused, your issues that you have with your partner likely stem from your own issues and insecurities. Being upset because your partner talks about nonsensical things and won't shutup means you need to think about why another person who isn't doing you any harm to you is getting so far underneath your skin; specifically if it's the person with whom you've chosen to spend the rest of your life.

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I had been wondering what type of underwear our Olive Garden waitress was wearing and well, that was it for my wife.

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I was having a crisis and reverted to partying with friends around a nearby college.

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Didn't work for me.

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Yeah, I’m going with that’s not a therapy issue. Just sayin’

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or maybe the guy is just a callous arse hole that puts nothing into the marriage and thinks his shite don’t stink

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this is overwhelmingly not what happens, but thanks for your input