re: Has marriage counseling ever worked?

Therapy is for soys

Real men find their mental health in a bottle

As our marriage was failing my bat-shite crazy ex-wife insisted we try marriage counseling. We went to one session - my ex spent almost the entire 50 minute session berating me for all my faults. The counselor hardly spoke, but at the end of the session suggested we needed long-term counseling. I never agree to go back and shortly after that, I moved out and eventually filed for divorce. It took me two years to get my ex out of the house.

I strongly believe all married couples should go to counseling together.

It depends on the reason why you are going to counseling. If it is communication, division of labor stuff, and other “minor issues”, yes it can work.

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Waste of time and money. If you can’t communicate freely (and for free) with your chosen spouse, why would you waste money and time to find out you’re not compatible.

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If that is your attitude going into counseling sessions, you are right - it won’t work.

I do believe that counseling sessions are set up incorrectly as others have already described. It can appear to be “one-sided” initially and maybe even a second or third session as well. I can see why some people get very defensive and feel attacked.

However, if you can put aside your feelings for a moment and withstand the verbal insults, eventually you will get your opportunity to speak. The best thing that any of us can do is learn how to listen. Most of us hear, but we don’t listen. And if we do listen, we listen to reply instead of listening to understand.

And that’s a big difference. I thought I used to listen, but I now recognize I didn’t. I was terrible at it. And my former wife was very in tune with me not truly listening. I can’t go back and undo any of the wrongs I have done. Those are in my past and that’s where everything will stay. It’s a part of who I am, but it’s not who I am today.

I’m looking forward to my future, because there are many great days left for me to be different and better.

It can work when you let it. Airing out everything and hearing you're wrong and she's also wrong hurts.

It's one of those it gets worse before it gets better deals. You will hate each other after therapy, then you have time to reflect and think on it. Then use the things you learned in therapy and it starts to get better.

Women want attention and to be in control. Marriage counseling reaffirms all that. If two people can’t work out their own problems then why the frick are you married to start with. This just didn’t START happening.