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re: Has anyone here ever moved away from home after getting married and have kids?
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:19 am to finchmeister08
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:19 am to finchmeister08
So many women as soon as they have kids suddenly want to work part time or stay home. It’s very common. Their careers take the back burner. Don’t be surprised if that job you speak of suddenly isn’t that important to her.
2
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:19 am to Czechessential
quote:no, it’s a normal human thing
one of the most Louisiana things ever
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:20 am to finchmeister08
Girls generally stay much closer to their family than men do.
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:20 am to finchmeister08
This probably should have been discussed prior to marriage/moving.
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:21 am to JellyRoll
quote:
I was lucky as my wife is quite independent.
i actually pointed this out to her last night.
i was out of my parents' house for 6 years before we got married.
she still lived with her parents. and we were both 30 when we got married.
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:21 am to Sofaking2
quote:
So many women as soon as they have kids suddenly want to work part time or stay home. It’s very common. Their careers take the back burner. Don’t be surprised if that job you speak of suddenly isn’t that important to her.
It’s at least 50/50 on this happening.
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:22 am to LNCHBOX
What? You want to see homeboys naked??
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:22 am to finchmeister08
Congrats on the divorce
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:24 am to finchmeister08
(no message)
This post was edited on 5/4/25 at 10:06 pm
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:25 am to Dawgfanman
I am not trashing them. I understand. You suddenly have a reset of values when children come along. I just don’t understand how people can’t see this coming and maybe anticipate it more often. Men should understand this is very common.
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:27 am to finchmeister08
If you like where you live then stay there. I hate to say it but moving based off emotions is not a great idea. Money, benefits, good area to live in trump being close to relatives. If it will make you feel any better, make several trips a year to Dothan to see your old friends and relatives.
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:29 am to sta4ever
quote:Right. Should have kept his dick in his pants.
Congrats on the divorce
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:29 am to finchmeister08
quote:
Fastforward to January 2024, and she's/we are now pregnant. It's been an overflow of hormones and emotions for her, and now all of a sudden, she wants to be closer to home because "we have no one here to help us and our child won't get to know it's grandparents".
I find that thinking asinine and shortsighted. We both have great jobs and work schedules with great benefits that we will most definitely/significantly miss if we moved somewhere closer to home and "mom".
So a few things:
1) Neither of you are wrong for your respective POVs
2) Treating her POV on this topic with that kind of disdain is a sure fire way to move you closer to divorce court.
3) For the love of Heaven and earth, don’t blame her hormones (at least not to her face).
Personally, I would want to stay with the jobs. Family help is great but it also comes with family drama and money solves all kinds of logistical problems. However, if she’s really close emotionally to her family you absolutely have to respect that.
Start by deciding that what she wants is just as valid what you want and work from there to get a compromise. Maybe that looks like carving out a chunk of cash for more frequent travel. Maybe that looks like you finding a job that’s closer for an agreed-upon period of time.
This is solvable but you’ll never do it if you can’t see things from her shoes.
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:29 am to Sofaking2
We were away from home when married and began having kids. I had the opportunity to move back to her hometown and we took it. It's been 8 years now and the help from the grandparents, and the kids seeing their cousins multiple times a week has been great and very helpful. I do feel like my career is possibly limited here in La, but now the kids are both in full-time school and we have discussed picking up and moving again. Once you get both kids to around 5-6, they become more independent and things get easier. My wife was able to stay home with them through that time and she loved it. She's not too interested in going back to work...
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:30 am to Sofaking2
quote:
I am not trashing them. I understand. You suddenly have a reset of values when children come along. I just don’t understand how people can’t see this coming and maybe anticipate it more often. Men should understand this is very common.
My wife and I made equal money when we had our first. We both had similar room for growth in our careers (I was a junior engineer, she had just become a retail banking manager). Within a year she’d resigned to stay at home with the kid. She worked part time at nights, after the second one two years later it made even more sense. It definitely impacted our finances but I have no regrets.
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:33 am to Dadren
quote:
So a few things:
1) Neither of you are wrong for your respective POVs
2) Treating her POV on this topic with that kind of disdain is a sure fire way to move you closer to divorce court.
3) For the love of Heaven and earth, don’t blame her hormones (at least not to her face).
Personally, I would want to stay with the jobs. Family help is great but it also comes with family drama and money solves all kinds of logistical problems. However, if she’s really close emotionally to her family you absolutely have to respect that.
Start by deciding that what she wants is just as valid what you want and work from there to get a compromise. Maybe that looks like carving out a chunk of cash for more frequent travel. Maybe that looks like you finding a job that’s closer for an agreed-upon period of time.
This is solvable but you’ll never do it if you can’t see things from her shoes.
Listen to this baw.
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:33 am to finchmeister08
Staying close to family is literally the only reason Louisiana still has a population
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:37 am to Sofaking2
quote:
So many women as soon as they have kids suddenly want to work part time or stay home. It’s very common. Their careers take the back burner. Don’t be surprised if that job you speak of suddenly isn’t that important to her.
Going through this now. I used to think she loved her job but now we have a 14 month old and she can't wait to go part time. She really hasn't liked work since our daughter was born lol.
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:37 am to finchmeister08
quote:
she wants to be closer to home because "we have no one here to help us and our child won't get to know it's grandparents".
We don't have any help and live away from family. It can be hard and you'll get pissed/jealous of others that seem to have everything done for them, but it's doable.
We never had a grandparent babysit for us.
Some people have children and they rely on grandparents for everything. They get care, money, etc. It's a symptom of extended adolescence.
Posted on 5/30/24 at 9:37 am to finchmeister08
quote:
Fastforward to January 2024, and she's/we are now pregnant. It's been an overflow of hormones and emotions for her, and now all of a sudden, she wants to be closer to home because "we have no one here to help us and our child won't get to know it's grandparents".
enjoy the ride on the emotional roller coaster, its scary as hell, but you will get through it
oh, and she will never get her mind right again, kids do that
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