had funeral detail today - handing over the flag should be rough

Thanks for your service

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it felt mechanical to me and at that point I changed my mind about wanting the full field grade sendoff.

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I'm entitled to that but unless I'm killed in action my family is planting me or putting my urn in the family plot in South Webster Parish, my life is about more than just being Army.

My Dad's 93, WWII, Korean and Vietnam vet, and I'm not sure if he wants full honors or not. He's going to be buried at the National Cemetery in Grand Prairie.

SO's father had a flag presentation at his funeral. She still talks about it. It was very meaningful to her.

ETA: I had a few classes with this girl at LSU. I never knew the backstory until I just happened to read this article years later. LINK

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My Dad's 93, WWII, Korean and Vietnam vet, and I'm not sure if he wants full honors or not. He's going to be buried at the National Cemetery in Grand Prairie.

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Chin, you really need to ask him...

now all that being said, make sure you have a copy of his discharge papers...the funeral home can assist you in getting the paperwork done, it's a pretty short form...oddly enough, if you do it yourself, you get the flag from your local Post Office.

to address the custom of providing fired blanks from the salute, there is a custom of taking three fired cartridges from the salute and inserting them in the fold of the flag (which is technically illegal, but done anyway)...simply depends on who is supporting and there are endless variations based on circumstances...

I can't imagine doing this for someone that I know. Or even someone I don't know but who gave his life for our freedoms. It would be emotional to me either way, I think.

That being said, my dad is an Air Force vet entitled to full military honors at his funeral and he has asked it be done. Not looking forward to the emotion of that day, but we will respect his wishes.

Thank you for your service.

I served in the Old Guard from 81-84. It is tough to do those funerals and they are for people you do not know. Much respect to you. May your friend Rest In Peace.

this was my first major responsibility which was being a member of a full honors ceremony team.

I did that for approximately 9 months I want to say.

That and a heroes ceremony when I was deployed were the greatest honor I could say that I have done while in the Army.

As for myself, I will be cremated. Not sure what I desire in regard to a ceremony, too busy occupied with school and upbringing my daughter.

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At my uncle's funeral a few years ago, I was surprised to see they gave my aunt a baggie with the shells they shot during the gun salute. It was very moving and greatly appreciated by the family.

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At my grandfather’s (WWII Vet) funeral many years ago, I was by my grandmother’s side the entire time and still have the three shells from the gun salute.

First off, thank you for your service.

Second, sorry for the novel but your post brought up some thoughts and emotions.

Thank you for handling the presentation. I think the presentation ceremony means a lot to the family. I know it meant a lot to my family at my father's funeral a couple years ago. Honestly, it is probably the only thing I recall of the actual burial besides watching them lower the casket.

I think that it somewhat helps that there wasn't any emotion from the presenters. We're raised thinking of soldiers as being fearless and never letting emotions get in the way of training. When the sh*t hits the fan, most people let their emotions override their actions. Soldiers just take over and handle it. A funeral is so emotional for those close to the deceased, it helps having that person trained to step up and take over. It brings everyone's focus back to who the deceased was...a soldier. It didn't matter what people were thinking or memories going thru their head, etc. For a brief moment he was no longer a father, husband, brother, etc. Everyone's focus shifted to remember him as a soldier. It was a completely different mood for me during the ceremony. I wasn't sad for what I lost or was missing. I was proud of the man my father was.

I think a lot of times people forget that. Especially for someone who married and/or had kids after they served. My father wasn't active military when I was born. He was for my older brother and sister, but only for a couple years. So we never think/thought of him being a soldier. He remarried and his wife never knew much or thought of him as a soldier. My mom is probably the only one that looked at him as military because she was there for it.

Also, I think it means a lot to most Vets. My father did a lot of amazing things throughout his career after he served. The only two things he ever requested about his funeral was that he was buried with military honors and that his headstone had "Capt. USAF" on it.