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Started By
Message
re: frick, I done did it (I hate Christmas)
Posted on 12/22/20 at 10:16 am to Cossatotjoe
Posted on 12/22/20 at 10:16 am to Cossatotjoe
Everyone in here has family drama for the holidays. Its a part of trying to please everyone. Fortunately for me, my wife's family are hermits and want to see nobody any time, much less holidays. But my family wants us there everyday. My wife likes to challenge this by wanting to do our own thing. My mom took it hard at first, but is willing to compromise now. It still makes the holidays a little more stressful but got much better over time.
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Posted on 12/22/20 at 10:23 am to scott8811
Oh, and I didn't even mention my wife's brother has 6 kids and has a birthday thing at their house for all 6 of them, along with something every Mother's and Father's day, and both of their birthdays. So that's 10 things at their house during the year, not counting Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, 4th of July, Memorial Day, etc. And his wife invites all of her family to them as well. Then you add my wife's birthday, and her parent's birthdays where they want to get together.
I put my foot down to all that 5 or 6 years ago and don't go to most of them. I'll do Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and 4th of July, but skip most of the other ones.
I put my foot down to all that 5 or 6 years ago and don't go to most of them. I'll do Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and 4th of July, but skip most of the other ones.
Posted on 12/22/20 at 10:32 am to The Spleen
quote:
So that's 10 things at their house during the year, not counting Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, 4th of July, Memorial Day, etc. And his wife invites all of her family to them as well. Then you add my wife's birthday, and her parent's birthdays where they want to get together.
It kills me the lack of social awareness that some in-laws have that this much shite to get dressed up for, coordinate and go to might be a hardship and not a pure joy. Don't get me wrong I enjoy time with them, but not when it's all the time and consumes most of a calendar. I need/want time with just my wife...and my own time. One year they said they wanted to do something for MY birthday....I'm sure I shot my wife daggers the second it came out her mouth.
Posted on 12/22/20 at 10:41 am to The Spleen
quote:LOL!!! My SIL would schedule a kids bday party at 7pm for her daughter. We live 2 hours away, and her bday is 3 days after Christmas. BTW, she's never had one at their house. Always a room rental somewhere. Now that I'm older, it's a lot easier to just say we can't make it. My grown step-daughters are having co-ed baby showers, and gender reveal parties. I don't go to those either. Funny thing is, my step-daughter's husband didn't go to his wife's co-ed baby shower. His BIL was pissed when he showed up and was the youngest dude there, by about 25 years. I'm using Christmas as an opportunity to get all the guys together and agree that men don't want to go to these things, and stop the wives from assuming that we do.
Oh, and I didn't even mention my wife's brother has 6 kids and has a birthday thing at their house for all 6 of them, along with something every Mother's and Father's day, and both of their birthdays. So that's 10 things at their house during the year, not counting Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, 4th of July, Memorial Day, etc. And his wife invites all of her family to them as well. Then you add my wife's birthday, and her parent's birthdays where they want to get together.
I put my foot down to all that 5 or 6 years ago and don't go to most of them. I'll do Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and 4th of July, but skip most of the other ones.
Posted on 12/22/20 at 10:46 am to greygoose
quote:
co-ed baby shower
Opted the frick outta that. relevant because any family baby event is also held at the in-laws house, or specifically the cabin across the way from it, but close enough. Was throw by my wifes aunt who invited me.... dead in the middle of a Saturday, BYOB, and baby games.....ummm no thanks. I'm going to drink my own shite at my house while not playing feminine arse baby games. She for real asked my wife why I didn't want to come.... again, the lack of social awareness is astounding.
They also know I'm a huge football fan and will schedule random get togethers right during a big game..I think the above was one of them. Well it's right when kick off is and we'll be doing baby games, and pictures, and there wil be 20 people there including 7 years olds galore..and Scott it'll be fun...you can put the game on!!! Yea...I'm pretty sure I'd rather watch the game in the waiting room of a dentists office than that.
Posted on 12/22/20 at 10:53 am to scott8811
In their slight defense, my wife's brother and their parents live very close to each other, and his wife's family all live in the same area. So it's easier for them. But we live about 45 minutes away, and most of these are on Sunday afternoons. I absolutely HATE having plans on Sunday afternoons.
There's also never any pressure from them for us to be there, so that's good I guess. My wife feels guilty every now and then when we don't go, but quickly gets over it.
There's also never any pressure from them for us to be there, so that's good I guess. My wife feels guilty every now and then when we don't go, but quickly gets over it.
Posted on 12/22/20 at 10:56 am to The Spleen
quote:
There's also never any pressure from them for us to be there, so that's good I guess. My wife feels guilty every now and then when we don't go, but quickly gets over it.
That's very much our situation. And no one ever gets mad per se, but the guilting comments are always there. Oh where is Scott? Oh Scott didn't come with you...why? We sure did miss you at ________. I don't give a frick, but it gets to her a bit and they know damn well what they're doing.
Posted on 12/22/20 at 10:58 am to Cossatotjoe
There’s 0% chance you’re cooking the entire meal all three days. Tell others to bring sides and cook the meat outside like a man. You’re acting like a little kid that wants to play with new toys. Enjoy your family. A lot of of us buried people this year
Posted on 12/22/20 at 11:12 am to wasteland
quote:
Enjoy your family. A lot of of us buried people this year
I'm sure he does enjoy his family, but 3 days in a row is alot. A man needs to spend time with just his family (wife and kids) too. This is some bullshite guilt right here
Posted on 12/22/20 at 11:29 am to Cossatotjoe
quote:
I’ll be cooking
quote:
my wife
I found your problem. Put her in the kitchen
Posted on 12/22/20 at 11:40 am to scott8811
Sounds like marriage and family life is not for you. I feel bad for your wife and kids. A lot of "I, Me and mine" in your posts. Time to grow up.
Posted on 12/22/20 at 11:48 am to Tiger Ryno
Seriously. If you read my post I state that I spend Christmas eve, thanksgiving, easter, 4th of July, fathers day, mothers day, and every one of their birthdays at the in laws. Most of the time, I cook or provide a bunch of what's needed and tote it the 30 mins to go to these events. Let me add that this year I will be cooking in advance, working till 5:00 on Christmas eve, getting off work and driving 30 minutes straight down there to be a part of their festivities. And somehow, I'm selfish and immature for wanting Christmas day to belong to only my family? You serious clark??
This post was edited on 12/22/20 at 11:51 am
Posted on 12/22/20 at 12:00 pm to scott8811
That's what you signed up for when you got married and had kids. That is what being a family man is about. Not going to play golf or going to the camp on Christmas day.
Posted on 12/22/20 at 12:01 pm to scott8811
Actually, yes I am doing the cooking for the two days I’m doing it. That was the deal. I just spent $150 on a USDA Prime rib roast for Sunday. As for family, I enjoy mine fine. I don’t particularly enjoy hers. But that doesn’t matter too much, I just don’t want them all at my house on Friday and then right back on Sunday. For one thing, since we are going to my family’s on Saturday there will be no time to get the house ready for guest again after Christmas and before Sunday. Which means, of course, my wife will be running around at midnight on Saturday like a chicken with her head cut off trying to get things ready for Sunday.
This post was edited on 12/22/20 at 12:04 pm
Posted on 12/22/20 at 12:07 pm to Tiger Ryno
quote:
Not going to play golf or going to the camp on Christmas day.
I don't dumbass...I don't leave my house, I don't answer my phone. I use it as a day to dedicate 100% to my wife and when I have them it will be for my wife and kids. I spent my childhood pulled in 20 different directions on Christmas not enjoying any one of them, and my kids won't feel that. I can't think of any better way to live my marriage vows than to tell the world to frick off on this day. In years past me and my wife have slept in..made breakfast, opened gifts, taken turns picking movies, and just appreciating time with EACH OTHER. I work a lot, we have tons of family commitments (the ones I rant about and others) so making Christmas about cherishing my household and marriage will always be my only priority. Now tell me, what about what you just read is selfish?
This post was edited on 12/22/20 at 12:11 pm
Posted on 12/22/20 at 12:10 pm to Cossatotjoe
quote:
my wife will be running around at midnight on Saturday like a chicken with her head cut off trying to get things ready for Sunday.
And that's a big part of my problem with it. It's been shoved down our throats that this kind of thing is needed so a holiday that on it's surface is about being with family is about stressing yourself out to prepare for family.
Posted on 12/22/20 at 12:12 pm to scott8811
Well dont get me wrong man that puts a whole new paint job on things. Give unto God's what his God's and unto Ceasars what is ceasers.
The family is priority numero uno but I could do without the foul language
The family is priority numero uno but I could do without the foul language
Posted on 12/22/20 at 12:15 pm to Tiger Ryno
quote:
The family is priority numero uno but I could do without the foul language
I think were on the same page here now. And yes I'm a foul mouthed family man, but a family man none the less lol. This gets me revved up, because as previously mentioned it's one of my "hills I will die on" and it's perpetually under attack by people who just don't understand. People don't understand that taking a break from family obligations needs to be done to put YOUR family, the one you made vows to and created, first.
Posted on 12/22/20 at 12:18 pm to scott8811
I see what you're saying here. As long as you aren't going to the deer camp or playing golf or holing up alone to play video games, the mother in law should try to understand she isn't wanted at your house on christmas day for the sake of the family.
Posted on 12/22/20 at 12:20 pm to Tiger Ryno
quote:
As long as you aren't going to the deer camp or playing golf or holing up alone to play video games
Nope.... that would be selfish and contrary to the spirit of the holiday IMO...except maybe people who get very little time off at all and that's a day they do get...I could see that. But no, my frustration comes from MIL just never being satisfied with the time she gets or not understanding that married couple might want to celebrate even one holiday to themselves.
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