re: For those that thought divorce would be awesome..

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consider a perk to getting a divorce is being able to chase trashy poon.

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as I read it, he was just admitting he was not going to go out and get some women you would be jealous about. he knows he might not get anything at all.

You've come to the best place for good advice

I guess it depends on what you mean by success?

I'm not going to get all holier than thou. Marriage is hard. As a newlywed I appreciate that more than I did a year ago. I think every couple should give it their all, but sometimes it just doesn't work out. You have one life to live and you have to do what's best for your peace of mind, but do right by your children. Good luck.

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Any divorce success stories?

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I came out of mine about as well as any man could. I kept my business, my house, and most importantly, my two children. My ex wasn't on drugs, she's just a fricking idiot who became her own worst enemy when it became apparent I wasn't going to just hand over everything she wanted. I spent the next 10 years chasing, and catching, quality pussy until I met my proverbial soul mate. So it worked out pretty well for me all things considered. But it comes at a steep price if your divorce is contested. My legal bills easily exceeded $100k and despite my best efforts, my children suffered some hardship due to the animosity between their mother and me. They have both spent some time in counseling and seem to have turned out okay but who knows what goes on in their heads. The effect divorce has on children is absolutely the biggest negative because they are the only ones who are truly innocent yet they suffer the most.

Some people change overnight

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Marriage and kids are awful. Greatful to be single. No wife and kids badgering me to do things

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Being a Gay isn't so bad either is it ?

Most of what I would say has already been stated.

Marriage is tough work sometimes and everyone has a different dynamic, so advice isn't one size fits all. My $.02 after 20 years and 3 kids:

Put your marriage/spouse first. I think that's the common mistake. Folks place children above spouses and that will lead to an unhappy marriage.

I always think of a successful marriage needing 100% effort. Sometimes your wife can only give 75%, so you need to make up the deficit. Give the 125% needed to get through. She needs to be willing to give the extra when you can't. Both partners have to work to keep the relationship going well.

An aphrodisiac has been discovered, it's called a weekend away. Do this often as you can!!! Trust me. I try to weasel a weekend in the Fall & Winter and a week without kids in the Summer. Moms need breaks from kids and you'll enjoy yourself. I have a cabin booked in February and the Mrs is already counting down the days until we are relaxing in the hot tub with Bloody Marys.

Kids. My wife is a child of divorce and we are still dealing with the aftermath 40 years later. If your marriage is salvageable, you're screwing your kids over if you do not try with all of your might to salvage it. Splitting time for every stinking event in our lives is a total pain in the arse, even as grown-ups. Do you want to move every two weeks? Your kids don't either. Figuring out which grandparent is coming to which school program, birthday dinner, baseball game, Sunday dinner, is exhausting.

I do believe a marriage is just like anything else in life, the harder you work, the better it becomes. The less you care, the shittier the product.

You're in a rough spot, eventually it will pass if you push through. I was there, it happens every so often even in the best marriage. Suck it up and work!

disclaimer- sometimes divorce is the correct answer (drugs, cheating, finances, trust, crazy)

Good luck!

divorce is miserable. but sometimes necessary. bad for the kids though.

You're absolutely right about the kids always being put first. It feels like the right thing to do...but in doing so we have both come to neglect ourselves and each other. Thanks for the advice

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Wife is always angry.

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PIIHB