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re: Feels great to not have kids
Posted on 8/9/19 at 12:55 pm to LouisianaLady
Posted on 8/9/19 at 12:55 pm to LouisianaLady
TBH I could always "take it or leave it" as it pertained to kids, never cared one way or the other
and now that we're expecting I'm going out of my mind crazy with joy and anticipation.
totally anecdotal
and now that we're expecting I'm going out of my mind crazy with joy and anticipation.
totally anecdotal
2
Posted on 8/9/19 at 12:57 pm to northshorebamaman
Certainly not all but a lot of people in their mid to late 20s have a hard time imagining that going out to bars 4 days per week kind of loses its luster at a certain age.
This post was edited on 8/9/19 at 12:58 pm
Posted on 8/9/19 at 12:57 pm to Pilot Tiger
I'm so happy for you guys 
Posted on 8/9/19 at 12:59 pm to GreatLakesTiger24
There’s nothing weird about it. Look up the definition of the word weird.
It’s definitely against the grain. But if that’s what qualifies something as “weird” then so is being a Christian.
It’s definitely against the grain. But if that’s what qualifies something as “weird” then so is being a Christian.
Posted on 8/9/19 at 1:00 pm to lsunurse
thanks
Posted on 8/9/19 at 1:02 pm to WaydownSouth
I have a son. He was the best kid on the best soccer team in the state and he quit to play school sports...He’s the QB and safety, and kicker...seeing your boy’s dream come true, seeing him give more effort and have more soul than the other kids is something. I know heartbreak and failures are in his future, but I’ll gladly live those with him too.
Cant imagine life without him, or my fine arse wife.
Cant imagine life without him, or my fine arse wife.
Posted on 8/9/19 at 1:02 pm to northshorebamaman
Fair enough. I think a lot of people have kids looking at the grand picture (how cute they are, how much you are biologically wired to love your own, etc.) and don't consider the day to day.
If having a kid meant passively loving a child, sure. But being a parent is more than passively loving someone and having someone else deal with them. Especially as a woman, who tend to deal with a larger % of the role than men.
It just isn't for me. I come home stressed out after spending 2 hours with my best friend and her child - and I don't even have to do anything. Just the whole pack the car, strap the kid in, unpack the car, kick open the stroller and fail 3x before it opens, place kid who doesn't want to be in stroller into it, he screams bloody murder, go into place of business and he wants to walk on his own, walking on his own means possibly breaking things or running into strangers.. and then you have to do it all over again just to get home.
I realize biological love would make all that "worth it", but I don't personally prefer to be bound by that
If having a kid meant passively loving a child, sure. But being a parent is more than passively loving someone and having someone else deal with them. Especially as a woman, who tend to deal with a larger % of the role than men.
It just isn't for me. I come home stressed out after spending 2 hours with my best friend and her child - and I don't even have to do anything. Just the whole pack the car, strap the kid in, unpack the car, kick open the stroller and fail 3x before it opens, place kid who doesn't want to be in stroller into it, he screams bloody murder, go into place of business and he wants to walk on his own, walking on his own means possibly breaking things or running into strangers.. and then you have to do it all over again just to get home.
I realize biological love would make all that "worth it", but I don't personally prefer to be bound by that
This post was edited on 8/9/19 at 1:06 pm
Posted on 8/9/19 at 1:04 pm to fallguy_1978
quote:
Certainly not all but a lot of people in their mid to late 20s have a hard time imagining that going out to bars 4 days per week kind of loses its luster at a certain age.
I know very, very few people in their late 20s who go out 4 nights a week. Maybe bartenders? Hell, even bartenders tend to slow down by that age. Most people my age (29) work full time jobs and do not go out every night.
The decision not to have kids has absolutely nothing at all to do with bars, and I think its a bit dense to assume people choose not to have kids purely because of bars.
Posted on 8/9/19 at 1:05 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
I realize biological love would make all that "worth it", but I don't personally prefer to be bound by that
For most people, it is all worth it. But there is a whole group of parents that have stories about how miserable they are as parents and how they didn’t feel anything when they held their child. I’m sure it’s rare, but it happens.
I think it needs to be something you really really want to do. Doing it because you are scared of dying alone in a nursing home is a terribly selfish reason to bring someone else into this world.
Posted on 8/9/19 at 1:06 pm to Gaston
quote:
I have a son. He was the best kid on the best soccer team in the state and he quit to play school sports...He’s the QB and safety, and kicker...seeing your boy’s dream come true, seeing him give more effort and have more soul than the other kids is something
This is a joke, right?
Posted on 8/9/19 at 1:06 pm to redneck
quote:
redneck
Posted on 8/9/19 at 1:06 pm to Pilot Tiger
I can't wait to be the drunk uncle who falls in the pool at the birthday party.
Posted on 8/9/19 at 1:08 pm to Gaston
quote:
seeing your boy’s dream come true, seeing him give more effort and have more soul than the other kids is something.
Yeap.
Having a kid that is better than everyone else's kid is the only reason to have one.
Mine were complete failures so I threw'em back.
Posted on 8/9/19 at 1:08 pm to Gaston
quote:
He was the best kid on the best soccer team in the state and he quit to play school sports...He’s the QB and safety, and kicker
Really?
Hadn't read that here more than 15 or so times...
Posted on 8/9/19 at 1:09 pm to AUCE05
quote:I'm close to retirement and just dropped $2K on a Macbook Pro and $5k + on fall tuition, "fees" and assorted freshmen of to college bs.
What is worse is seeing all the people swear off kids in their 20s/30s then pull a 180 in their 40s.
This post was edited on 8/9/19 at 1:10 pm
Posted on 8/9/19 at 1:10 pm to TH03
quote:you have a lot of competition on being the drunkest uncle though
I can't wait to be the drunk uncle who falls in the pool at the birthday party.
Posted on 8/9/19 at 1:11 pm to TH03
quote:
can't wait to be the drunk uncle who falls in the pool at the birthday party.
If that happens in CLT, I'm holding you under the water.
Posted on 8/9/19 at 1:13 pm to Odysseus32
"For most people, it is all worth it. But there is a whole group of parents that have stories about how miserable they are as parents and how they didn’t feel anything when they held their child. I’m sure it’s rare, but it happens."
This is a LOT more common than most people admit. Their idea of keeping their kids busy.. "Here, take my phone/tablet and leave me alone". Yeah...great quality parenting there!
This is a LOT more common than most people admit. Their idea of keeping their kids busy.. "Here, take my phone/tablet and leave me alone". Yeah...great quality parenting there!
Posted on 8/9/19 at 1:15 pm to GreatLakesTiger24
I’ve been on earth good many years and have known good many people with children.My observation is they can be one of life’s greatest joys or one’s worst nightmare.Prisons in U.S.are bulging at the seams,everyone of those prisoners had parents.Don’t say it can’t happen to you,it’s happened to friends of mine.Lots of prisoners came from good homes.
There are plenty of dads distraught that their little princess grew up to be an Instagram “hoe” or stripper or call girl.It’s happened to friends of mine.
My mother was in nursing home,lots of resident’s children never visited.
I respect people that don’t want children and don’t have them,I’ve known plenty of people that had them and didn’t want to be bothered after the fact.
There are plenty of dads distraught that their little princess grew up to be an Instagram “hoe” or stripper or call girl.It’s happened to friends of mine.
My mother was in nursing home,lots of resident’s children never visited.
I respect people that don’t want children and don’t have them,I’ve known plenty of people that had them and didn’t want to be bothered after the fact.
Posted on 8/9/19 at 1:17 pm to TH03
quote:
I can't wait to be the drunk uncle who falls in the pool at the birthday party.
Or be the cool uncle that buys the kid their first full set of drums
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