re: Farmer still uses trucks and equipment from the 70s to farm

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She is kind of one those cute fat ones where she looks good if you’re at the bar and about 10 beers in. Then you wake up next morning and ponder your life decisions

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There's a joke that talks about coyote love or wolf love, or some shite like that. Anyway, it's something about bringing a fat chick home when you're drunk, and then waking up the next morning with her laying in your arms. You don't want to wake her up and just want to GTFO, so you gnaw your arm off like a coyote or a wolf.

I fricked that all up, but I remember it being a decent joke when told correctly.

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That’s known as coyote ugly.

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If you know the joke, tell it. I fricked it up to blue hell.

Must have Cubans working on the farm

Liberals... That a-hole is killing the planet!

The thing about a tractor is it will last forever. Even if you work the shite out of it. As long as you maintain the fluids and what not it will go a long time.

Here's why farmers don't buy the new model every couple of years:
New Cotton picking machine $600,000
New Harvesting combine $100,000 to $500,000
New tractor $70,000--$120,000

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Swam out there and drove it out of the pond.

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You must be short little fellow if you couldn't wade out to it in a catfish pond

The 66 series tractors are probably the best ever built!

Friend of mine tells a story about how you should always hand a girl the tv remote.

Short version: he drunkenly takes a fat girl home. Later that night after sobering up and having done the deed she asks for the tv remote. He tosses it to her and she drops it on the floor. She leans over in the bed to get it and he gets a full view of her fatass. It makes him throw up. Moral of the story he says is that you always hand them the remote, don’t throw it.