re: Ever seen a successful divorce?

[quote] It's the blight on our society and the root of many of our larger problems.[/quote

This thread is not about Cowboys fans

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Same here. Terrible wife. Good as far as ex wives go

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Will have to agree here. Mine, while I thought was a great wife, turned out to be not so great. In fact, downright awful. But, this divorce has hurt the kids.

I find it funny that adults say they are better off after their parents divorced. Once again, if there wasn't abuse or whatever and the other spouse was blindsided, then that whole statement is horse shite. Kids will be affected. Especially if they are young. Hell, mine believed in their mom and that she was coming back. Broke my heart. And then don't get me started on them wondering shite about where they will live and the like. Anyone who says divorce is good for the kids is a damn idiot.

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Facebook has a lot to blame for modern divorces.

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This. I saw conversations between my wife and two of her ex-boyfriends that were very, very unbecoming of a married woman.

Truth of the matter, while there are times that divorce is necessary, there are ultimately no winners. Emotional scars hang around for a long time on everyone. Granted, the wife may make her haul, but it is only a matter of time before things catch up with her. During her youth and early middle age she can have sex whenever and wherever she desires. However, many don't age well and once they hit the wall, many usually hit it pretty hard. I had one girl I was in a relationship with for a bit who was 48 at the time and had a body that would make a 25 year old go hang her head in shame. Four years later, I am counting my blessings on how God was watching over me by her breaking off the relationship. The girl has definitely aged ..... bad. My ex-wife of 27 years is another example. When I saw her at my son's wedding she was 57 and looked like she was about to hit 70. She was cute as hell in her day back when we were in college. She will eventually wind up alone. She left the marriage "trying to find herself" and nine years later she is evidently still searching.

For men, divorce has a way of engendering a lot of distrust, anger and depression. The latter two dissipate over time, but the distrust seems to always linger to some degree. For that reason, many men choose not to remarry - particularly if they have already sired their families.

The kids, they are always going to have some degree of lingering resentment towards their parents. It, too, lessens over time, but it's still there.

The break-up is generally quite painful - particularly for the one who is being left. It's also bad on the kids at first, even the older ones, as they wonder if the breakup is their fault.

The property settlement and child custody - normally this is more nuclear war than the actual breakup. A lot of scars and resentments linger long thereafter over these two phases.

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This. I saw conversations between my wife and two of her ex-boyfriends that were very, very unbecoming of a married woman.

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Dealt with the same shite in mine. As soon as she fricked with the bank accounts I was done with her and that nonsense.

Thankfully no kids, and it wasn't too much of a pain in the arse. I kept the house and she kept her car (both were common property). My car preceded the marriage. I used her car as leverage to get the house.

The main reason was that if we were to sell in all honestly we may have just lost money with the way the housing market was then. It was a win-win for me. I didn't have to take a loss, I could afford the payment on my own as I got a promotion the same time as the divorce was happening, and the icing on the cake if the house appreciated like crazy the last few years that when I sold it, I had about $60K to use as a down payment on my current home. She tried to get more money out of a common account for "moving expenses" but I wasn't hearing that nonsense. The only thing I was pissed that she got was the dog.

She now lives in some dump house in Lafitte with some guy who probably has a salary that resembles someone living in poverty based on what I've been told by my mother after her internet sleuthing.

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She left the marriage "trying to find herself" and nine years later she is evidently still searching.

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That is a very common thing. They tend to use that excuse to justify a lot of stuff.

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For men, divorce has a way of engendering a lot of distrust, anger and depression. The latter two dissipate over time, but the distrust seems to always linger to some degree. For that reason, many men choose not to remarry - particularly if they have already sired their families.

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I speak from experience. My ex-wife totally ruined my trust. Totally. I'm not angry or depressed anymore, but I don't trust at all - and I don't see that returning. Ever. Honestly, I won't ever remarry. I've got two young kids that are my life. No one else will be part of theirs.

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The kids, they are always going to have some degree of lingering resentment towards their parents. It, too, lessens over time, but it's still there.

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I'm glad someone else said it. Truth.

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The property settlement and child custody - normally this is more nuclear war than the actual breakup. A lot of scars and resentments linger long thereafter over these two phases.

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I'm dying at the nuclear war statement. As true a statement as there ever was. Mine nutted up saying that I was taking everything.

Yep. My best friend from HS and her ex-husband married when she was just out of HS. Had two kids and was married for almost 18 years when they separated. Once they got a taste of life without each other they mutually agreed a divorce was for the best. Hardest decision they ever made but they were absolutely miserable together.

I think the biggest part for them is that they're two fairly mature adults, with similar financial standing, and they knew any kind of unmitigated shitshow would likely frick up their kids. That's not to say they haven't had disagreements, but they've handled it well.

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This. I saw conversations between my wife and two of her ex-boyfriends that were very, very unbecoming of a married woman.

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That sucks.

Well the "good" thing about social media is it's very easy to catch someone in 2016 because of that. If your SO is protective of their phone or their Facebook/Instagram/whatever login it's time to call a lawyer.

I had a friend who almost married a girl and everything seemed fine except she wouldn't let him log onto her computer in anything other than guest mode. That bugged him to no end, and eventually he said "either let me in your account or the wedding is off." Sure enough in the photo roll was the picture of her and some other guy she was fricking whenever she went to conferences related to her job. Without that computer he might have never found out, this guy lived in a completely different country and she was in a different field than he is in.

On the flip side whenever I get a new phone or account I am sure to let my wife know the password or how to get in. I try to make it clear I have nothing to hide, because I don't.

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If all parents really cared for their children and put their best interest first,

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I think THIS leads to marital trouble. You put the marriage first...kids second. Work on spending time with your spouse and your child will see what a marriage should be. Parents who bend over backwards for their kids often fall.

Yes, got the papers in Sicily, signed , notarized, return to sender, received decree in the mail, done.... this was 1990, I'm sure things are not as easy now. havent seen or heard from her since 93...I was lucky, a clean split