re: Ever had a family member cut out of a will?

Here goes—-My Dad raised me after a divorce. We were very close . Even unusually close. He was a kind Dad. Very supportive, never discouraged me. I idolized him. Then He married my stepmother when I was 16. Everything changed.

After HS graduation, I moved to an apartment off the LSU campus. When I returned a week later she had cleared my room out and converted it into a closet. I was no longer welcome. My father owned a business, my interaction with him was at his business. I never spent a SINGLE night at home after leaving . That means that I would stay at a 10,000 sq ft frat house by myself for a month over Christmas vacation or sleep on a couch somewhere. Totally cut off from family life.

When I graduated I moved away, found work, got married, started a family . I returned in my 30s and had three children. But my father never invited me to his new home or out to dinner even with the grandkids. Eventually our interactions dwindled because I was tired of the disrespect. But I never raised my voice or challenged him to defend his choices , I accepted them . He did what his wife demanded. His wife wanted him entirely for herself.

I have three great kids. Great students, hard workers, relentlessly optimistic, talented musicians , just great kids. He has not spoken to them since 2003. No cards, no presents nothing. My daughter won a state championship in gymnastics? He has no idea. My other daughter is on the Deans List and has 50 hours credit after her freshman year at LSU while working two jobs and playing in a band ? He has no idea. My son getting his first paying guitar gig at 16 ? He has not a clue.

Now - get this- I still believe he is a good and kind man. He’s just lost. His wife is Borderline personality, bi-polar etc. Her cold heart and sick mind imprisoned him. I choose to forgive him, pity him, pray for him, love him in my heart even though I am his only child and have had no contact with him. There is now too much water under the bridge to ever have one. It would be too weird and too sad.

When he dies, I will cry and I will grieve. But I will not attend his funeral. I would assume all inheritance would go to her children and that I might get a nasty insult of some kind in the mail. That’s it. That’s as good as it gets for me and my kids with him.

Acceptance. I accept his decision. I am not attached to anger. I am not attached to resentment. He has a right to his own journey and if it doesn’t include my family that is sad, but it’s life. I will love him in my heart until the day I die. My family is just not part of his journey and my responsibility is to insulate my wife and children from any negativity that surrounds him. Acceptance.