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re: Embarrassing things you innocently said or did as a youngster
Posted on 11/14/20 at 10:11 pm to TigerBR1111
Posted on 11/14/20 at 10:11 pm to TigerBR1111
10 years old or so. Outside on the patio playing Battleship or whatever with year younger neighbor. Sing this stupid song to him to the Beverly Hillbillies theme: "Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed, stripped down Elly and threw her on the bed, Unzipped his zipper and out came a worm, Next thing you know he was bubblin' sperm". Had no idea the window was open and my dad heard the entire thing, "That's real cute, Potent" he says. I cringed.
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Posted on 11/14/20 at 10:20 pm to TigerBR1111
(no message)
This post was edited on 4/28/21 at 10:08 am
Posted on 11/14/20 at 10:23 pm to TigerBR1111
As a toddler, I used to love anything silk. Would rub it between my fingers and suck my thumb. Hell, my grandparents kept a drawer full of silk handkerchiefs for me so I would go to sleep.
So my family is down at the beach (I was 4, brothers were 8 and 16, and family friends had daughters of 11 and 15), and we are eating at Hooter's (trashy, I know).
As soon as the waitress got next to my chair, I eyeballed those little shorts, stuck my hands up them and started rubbing away while sucking my finger. Everyone started dying laughing, and to the waitress' credit, she didn't budge at all.
My dad looked to my brother and asked, "son, don't you wish you could get away with that?"
"I sure do, dad."
So my family is down at the beach (I was 4, brothers were 8 and 16, and family friends had daughters of 11 and 15), and we are eating at Hooter's (trashy, I know).
As soon as the waitress got next to my chair, I eyeballed those little shorts, stuck my hands up them and started rubbing away while sucking my finger. Everyone started dying laughing, and to the waitress' credit, she didn't budge at all.
My dad looked to my brother and asked, "son, don't you wish you could get away with that?"
"I sure do, dad."
Posted on 11/14/20 at 10:30 pm to HempHead
(no message)
This post was edited on 12/18/21 at 11:45 am
Posted on 11/14/20 at 10:58 pm to TigerBR1111
I said plenty as a kid that got me whipped but the funniest thing I remember is my dad going off for the first time cussing.
At age 10 I joined my older brother (14) for the first time to caddy for my dad (a pretty darn good golfer) but he topped his drive into a nearby creek. He mumbled.
But then he shanked the next shot right into the same creek: “That’s right you frickin’ ball, go meet the other frickin’ ball in the frickin’ ditch.”
I covered my mouth to stifle the giggles. My brother just said: “Get use to it.”
I learned that day that golf does that to grown men.
At age 10 I joined my older brother (14) for the first time to caddy for my dad (a pretty darn good golfer) but he topped his drive into a nearby creek. He mumbled.
But then he shanked the next shot right into the same creek: “That’s right you frickin’ ball, go meet the other frickin’ ball in the frickin’ ditch.”
I covered my mouth to stifle the giggles. My brother just said: “Get use to it.”
I learned that day that golf does that to grown men.
Posted on 11/14/20 at 11:12 pm to TigerBR1111
When I lived in Sherman Texas, the Oklahoman cars were fairly common and they would always turn left from the right hand lane. I would get pissed and say out loud to myself "you fricking white trash Okie."
I asked my best friend and his wife to babysit my oldest son when he was very young. Both of their parents were visiting and I knew these parents very well. My youngest son was playing with two big trucks in the room's corner when he bashes the 2 trucks together and says "you f****** white trash Okie." The adults all got quiet and kept listening as he did it two more times.
Thankfully, nobody was from Oklahoma.
I asked my best friend and his wife to babysit my oldest son when he was very young. Both of their parents were visiting and I knew these parents very well. My youngest son was playing with two big trucks in the room's corner when he bashes the 2 trucks together and says "you f****** white trash Okie." The adults all got quiet and kept listening as he did it two more times.
Thankfully, nobody was from Oklahoma.
This post was edited on 11/14/20 at 11:15 pm
Posted on 11/14/20 at 11:26 pm to TigerBR1111
In 5th grade I accidentally farted very loudly sitting on a step in the library during an assembly with about 150 classmates around. I saw people turn blue they were laughing so hard. Normally I would have played it off as if it were intentional, but teachers were angry as hell, and the speaker himself, embarrassed with everyone laughing uncontrollably. So that was great, I totally fricked up the whole deal.
Posted on 11/14/20 at 11:41 pm to Reservoir dawg
I was maybe 4 or 5 and I had heard my friend Brett call his little brother a weenie sucker. I knew it was an insult but the whole mechanics and meaning of sucking a wiener at that age was still too much to really wrap my Young mind around. So later, when my dad was ragging on me for something stupid I screamed “You’re just a weenie sucker!”
Now, my father was a very strict man and handled all the discipline in the house but he was usually good about sending us to our room to give himself 10-15 minutes to cool down before administering spankings. There was no cool down time in this instance. He beat the dog shite out of me that afternoon.
Now, my father was a very strict man and handled all the discipline in the house but he was usually good about sending us to our room to give himself 10-15 minutes to cool down before administering spankings. There was no cool down time in this instance. He beat the dog shite out of me that afternoon.
Posted on 11/15/20 at 1:17 am to sledgehammer
Who knows. Her older brother was really scary. Still freaks me out thinking about it ... 30 some years later
Posted on 11/15/20 at 1:37 am to crispyUGA
quote:This is funny! Lol
You’re just a weenie sucker!”
There was no cool down time in this instance.
Posted on 11/15/20 at 1:37 am to GreenRockTiger
This thread proves what I've always thought: the most honest people in the world are drunk people and 5-7 year-olds.
My addition to the fray:
When I was about 7, I was riding in the back seat of the car with mom and dad in front. Dad was driving.
Another car pulled out in front of us or something, and knowing the appropriate comment for that situation because I'd heard it so many times, I yelled "you cock-sucker!"
Mom told me not to say that again. Dad was probably laughing inside...but he told me I'd catch a belt if I ever said it again.
My addition to the fray:
When I was about 7, I was riding in the back seat of the car with mom and dad in front. Dad was driving.
Another car pulled out in front of us or something, and knowing the appropriate comment for that situation because I'd heard it so many times, I yelled "you cock-sucker!"
Mom told me not to say that again. Dad was probably laughing inside...but he told me I'd catch a belt if I ever said it again.
Posted on 11/15/20 at 7:43 am to LSUGrad9295
I was a bad sleepwalker as a child. Parents found me outside on the swing set, in the bath tub, etc. one time I slept walked into their bedroom and pissed all over them.
Most embarrassed I’ve ever been was when I was 7 or 8 and my sister was 3 or 4 my dad took us to buy fireworks. Well we started picking out what we wanted and my dad asks my sister if she wants anything else. My sis blurts out I want some N-word chasers. Of course the man running the shop was black. I wanted the ground to swallow me up.
Most embarrassed I’ve ever been was when I was 7 or 8 and my sister was 3 or 4 my dad took us to buy fireworks. Well we started picking out what we wanted and my dad asks my sister if she wants anything else. My sis blurts out I want some N-word chasers. Of course the man running the shop was black. I wanted the ground to swallow me up.
Posted on 11/15/20 at 7:47 am to TigerBR1111
Thought the word “amaze” and “arouse” we’re synonymous. Told many a folk their stupidity never ceased to “arouse” me when I was like 10.
Posted on 11/15/20 at 7:47 am to TigerBR1111
When I was pre-teen (46 years ago), got down a big box of mama's Kotex, busted into her Tupperware party and loudly asked, "What are these for?"
Posted on 11/15/20 at 8:38 am to TigerBR1111
About 5th grade I heard a kid calling another kid a queer on the bus ride home. Not knowing what it meant, we were having supper that night my older brother spilled his tea and I blurted out “queer”. Could’ve heard a pin drop followed by a backhand to my forehead.
This post was edited on 11/15/20 at 8:39 am
Posted on 11/15/20 at 8:43 am to TigerBR1111
I was shopping at the super market with my mom. I saw an display for odor eaters.
I promptly said "thats what you need mom."
She wasn't happy about it.
I promptly said "thats what you need mom."
She wasn't happy about it.
Posted on 11/15/20 at 8:50 am to LegendInMyMind
quote:
Well, we were playing in a nearby cotton field, throwing dirt clods and chasing each other.
Ahhhh. The Joy's of living near cotton fields.
Posted on 11/15/20 at 8:58 am to TigerBR1111
My mom always has always had a dark sense of humor. When I was real young she told me that going underwater in a hot tub would turn my brain into hamburger meat. I followed that rule for several years
Posted on 11/15/20 at 9:25 am to Ed Osteen
My dad had an old family friend who was morbidly obese. She was in town to visit when I was 6 or 7 and we were all sitting around the dinner table eating when my mom said “Aunt Ann is going to stay in your room tonight and you can sleep on the couch”. I blurted out “she can’t sleep in my bed, she’s gonna break it!”. It got super quiet and aunt Ann said “you know you’re probably right”. She was mortified as were my parents.
She didn’t break my bed and she ended up losing a ton of weight years later, feel like I might have had something to do with that lol
She didn’t break my bed and she ended up losing a ton of weight years later, feel like I might have had something to do with that lol
Posted on 11/15/20 at 9:40 am to Priapus
Damn, you from BR? I told some kid to do that when I was a kid. Lol
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