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Started By
Message
re: Embarrassing Moments
Posted on 6/9/17 at 10:52 am to Packer
Posted on 6/9/17 at 10:52 am to Packer
During college I worked for John Folse primarily as a bartender, but I waited tables when needed. Me and another banquet mgr were asked to handle a "Chef's Table" for 20 at White Oak for Ali Landry when she was crowned in '96.
I was used to carrying 8 entree trays, but since only 2 of us, we carried 10 each. About the third course (It was a hot silverware lay) my well-worn doc Martin's failed me and my foot slid forward, freezing me in a fricked up looking limbo before going flat on my back, in a cascade of plates and demi-glace god-knows-what beurre blanc. My momentum continued my slide on the freshly waxed ballroom floor, all the way to the (unbelievably smoking IRL) Miss Landry's chair. Panic-driven and horrified, I grab her chair leg on my way by, which flips me over onto my stomach, leaving a trail of diarrhea looking yak from my soaked shirt but stops me. She gasped as my inertia yanked her a few inches from the table before I fully stopped.
The silence felt like eternity. I held my Alex Cora pose there on the floor, wanting to just disappear.
My fellow waiter, much more experienced than I, having safely stood his tray during my performance, immediately dropped to one knee, glared intently at my hand on the chair leg, glared at Ali Landry, back at my hand, jumped up and at the top of his lungs cried, "Safe!!!" Violently signaling the same to the table.
Ali threw her head back and guffawed like a man, causing the entire table to join her...except for Chef Folse, who looked, well, you can imagine.
When it was all over, Ali told the Sous Chef that she had never been so happy to be back home as she was that night.
"Only in Louisiana" she said.
My duties were restricted to behind the bar the rest of the summer.
I was used to carrying 8 entree trays, but since only 2 of us, we carried 10 each. About the third course (It was a hot silverware lay) my well-worn doc Martin's failed me and my foot slid forward, freezing me in a fricked up looking limbo before going flat on my back, in a cascade of plates and demi-glace god-knows-what beurre blanc. My momentum continued my slide on the freshly waxed ballroom floor, all the way to the (unbelievably smoking IRL) Miss Landry's chair. Panic-driven and horrified, I grab her chair leg on my way by, which flips me over onto my stomach, leaving a trail of diarrhea looking yak from my soaked shirt but stops me. She gasped as my inertia yanked her a few inches from the table before I fully stopped.
The silence felt like eternity. I held my Alex Cora pose there on the floor, wanting to just disappear.
My fellow waiter, much more experienced than I, having safely stood his tray during my performance, immediately dropped to one knee, glared intently at my hand on the chair leg, glared at Ali Landry, back at my hand, jumped up and at the top of his lungs cried, "Safe!!!" Violently signaling the same to the table.
Ali threw her head back and guffawed like a man, causing the entire table to join her...except for Chef Folse, who looked, well, you can imagine.
When it was all over, Ali told the Sous Chef that she had never been so happy to be back home as she was that night.
"Only in Louisiana" she said.
My duties were restricted to behind the bar the rest of the summer.
0
Posted on 6/9/17 at 11:05 am to JudgeHolden
I'd say my most embarrassing moments involved my mom. Finding out I did something and instead of calling me in to yell at me or whatever, if I were with a group of friends, she would come yell at me in front of everyone. A few times I told her something back (because I had to show my friends I was not a "bitch") and she slapped the ever living piss out of me.
She also has a loud as hell voice and didn't care where we were, she would yell at me and everyone who was anywhere close to the area, could hear what I was being yelled out for. Because of that, there isn't too much that I could do that would actually make me feel embarrassed.
She also has a loud as hell voice and didn't care where we were, she would yell at me and everyone who was anywhere close to the area, could hear what I was being yelled out for. Because of that, there isn't too much that I could do that would actually make me feel embarrassed.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 11:23 am to shutterspeed
Went to Disney World on a high school trip and I was trying to impress some girls. When you first enter EPCOT there are these four or five foot concrete bollards. I tried to leap them, hit it directly with my nuts, and flipped over onto my back.
I physically and metaphorically broke my balls in one instance.
I physically and metaphorically broke my balls in one instance.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 2:14 pm to TheDeathValley
Was at a wedding and hadn't seen many in the wedding party in a long time. Anyway at the reception, the bourbon was flowing good and I saw a woman at the buffet. I knew her husband. Anyway I walked up to her and said when are y'all expecting. She was like "I'm not pregnant." I immediately was like "so and so told me you were. I must have misunderstood." Anyway the guy I blamed it on,well his wife comes storming to my table bitching me out and I'm dying laughing.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 2:22 pm to bigwheel
quote:
DON'T TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANITE, COVER YOUR arse
The irony here is marbleous.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 2:22 pm to supadave3
I met this really cute girl on tinder years ago when it first came out. We exchanged numbers and had plans to go on a date the next night. I wanted to check her out so I looked up her Facebook on my phone. I scrolled through about 100 pics, including old bikini shots.
The next day when we were supposed to go on a date, she stopped responding to me. I went back to check her Facebook and had accidentallyI "liked" over a hundred of her pics. I can only imagine her phone notifying her of every single one I scrolled though
The next day when we were supposed to go on a date, she stopped responding to me. I went back to check her Facebook and had accidentallyI "liked" over a hundred of her pics. I can only imagine her phone notifying her of every single one I scrolled though
Posted on 6/9/17 at 2:25 pm to bigwheel
quote:
Moral of this story: DON'T TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANITE, COVER YOUR arse
You're a shale of your former self, wheel
Posted on 6/9/17 at 2:29 pm to JudgeHolden
When I was a teenager, my dad had an affair with someone he works with and everyone I knew found out, including my mom. She was not happy.
It was a very embarrassing time for me.
It was a very embarrassing time for me.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 2:34 pm to JudgeHolden
My boat story.
When I was a junior at UGA, there were six of us who went on one of my friend's boat to an island for a picnic, etc. Two of my buddies plus their girlfriends and also a girl I was interested in and had been working on for a while.
So we beach the boat and everyone gets out but me so I can hand the coolers and stuff to my friends. When it comes time for me to get out, I play mr cool guy and try to jump over the side. Know the tie-down cleats? Well, my shorts got caught on one...
Well, it flipped me upside down and pulled my swim trunks to my knees, exposing my junk and arse to the world. Everyone died laughing. The girl I was interested in? Well, ended up dating her for almost the rest of college....
My buddies still give me hell to this day...
When I was a junior at UGA, there were six of us who went on one of my friend's boat to an island for a picnic, etc. Two of my buddies plus their girlfriends and also a girl I was interested in and had been working on for a while.
So we beach the boat and everyone gets out but me so I can hand the coolers and stuff to my friends. When it comes time for me to get out, I play mr cool guy and try to jump over the side. Know the tie-down cleats? Well, my shorts got caught on one...
Well, it flipped me upside down and pulled my swim trunks to my knees, exposing my junk and arse to the world. Everyone died laughing. The girl I was interested in? Well, ended up dating her for almost the rest of college....
My buddies still give me hell to this day...
Posted on 6/9/17 at 2:40 pm to Ed Osteen
quote:
I met this really cute girl on tinder years ago when it first came out. We exchanged numbers and had plans to go on a date the next night. I wanted to check her out so I looked up her Facebook on my phone. I scrolled through about 100 pics, including old bikini shots.
The next day when we were supposed to go on a date, she stopped responding to me. I went back to check her Facebook and had accidentallyI "liked" over a hundred of her pics. I can only imagine her phone notifying her of every single one I scrolled though
Jeez...that's why I try not to do that. You won't believe how many things you unknowingly like just by scrolling on social media
Posted on 6/9/17 at 2:41 pm to JudgeHolden
In the mid-90's when computers and work email were relatively new, a cluster of emails was going around because people were replying to all. Eventually the director of this government agency sent out an email telling people to not reply to all. I thought I was just replying to him, didn't read to see it was the agency director and replyed to all saying "Replying to all asking people to stop replying to all is just as bad as replying to all".
Nothing came of it other than people laughing at me and joking around.
Still felt embarrassed about it. My supervisor told me to take the rest of the day off (paid, no punishment or write up) and just relax. He could tell I was getting mad from all the joking.
Nothing came of it other than people laughing at me and joking around.
Still felt embarrassed about it. My supervisor told me to take the rest of the day off (paid, no punishment or write up) and just relax. He could tell I was getting mad from all the joking.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 2:41 pm to wizziko
I don't really look at Facebook much anymore but after that happened I never used my iPhone to look at it again
Posted on 6/9/17 at 2:41 pm to JudgeHolden
Freshman year of high school... state quarterfinals... I swear it was the biggest crowd we'd had all season. Somewhere around the 4th inning I round third headed for home... slide head first around the catcher and then get up to celebrate....
Unfortunately the slide broke my belt, unbuttoned my pants and pulled them down to reveal my right testicle hanging out the side of my jock strap (old school not sliding shorts). Moms, grandmas, every member of the softball team, half the cheerleaders, teachers, and even the principal of the school who was a nun, got a clean look at half the brain...
I got the nickname "veins" that day. Some of my buddies still call me this...
Unfortunately the slide broke my belt, unbuttoned my pants and pulled them down to reveal my right testicle hanging out the side of my jock strap (old school not sliding shorts). Moms, grandmas, every member of the softball team, half the cheerleaders, teachers, and even the principal of the school who was a nun, got a clean look at half the brain...
I got the nickname "veins" that day. Some of my buddies still call me this...
Posted on 6/9/17 at 2:48 pm to JudgeHolden
quote:
Louisiana arse-whipping
Posted on 6/9/17 at 3:06 pm to JudgeHolden
17 years old. Just bought my first car. Nothing special by any means, but it was mine and I was a certified bad arse because I was finally driving.
I pull up to a red light with a buddy in the passenger seat. We notice the car next to us contains two rather attractive young ladies who are signaling us. So we are both thinking that we are the greatest...
Roll down the window and in the most douche bag fashion possible. "Sup ladies?"
They proceed to inform me that my gas lid is open and to have a nice day.
I pull up to a red light with a buddy in the passenger seat. We notice the car next to us contains two rather attractive young ladies who are signaling us. So we are both thinking that we are the greatest...
Roll down the window and in the most douche bag fashion possible. "Sup ladies?"
They proceed to inform me that my gas lid is open and to have a nice day.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 3:06 pm to JudgeHolden
Reading this shitty thread is pretty embarrassing
Posted on 6/9/17 at 3:15 pm to soccerfüt
quote:
I read this and thought you were finally going to admit that this was you:
Is that the judge that was posting on here at one point around the time he got busted?
Posted on 6/9/17 at 3:18 pm to TheFonz
(no message)
Posted on 6/9/17 at 3:20 pm to JudgeHolden
quote:
as I was texting
I hope you get a horrible yeast infection.
Posted on 6/9/17 at 3:28 pm to Bard
I'm hanging out out w/this chick and dropped her home at the end of the night. I walk her to her door.
Now try to picture this for a second, she lived in an apartment above a store, so there's a narrow stair case that leads up to her door.
We're at her door, right at the top of the stairs, making out and shyt. It's dark and there isn't really any light at all. It's not like it's an apartment building that has lights in all the hallways that lead to everyone's door. Anyway, this stupid bytch leans against me a little too hard and i wasn't strong enough to keep my balance. both of us tumble right down to the bottom of the stairs.
I still don't know how neither one of us were hurt.
That shyt makes me laugh now...but damn it was embarrasing at the time
Now try to picture this for a second, she lived in an apartment above a store, so there's a narrow stair case that leads up to her door.
We're at her door, right at the top of the stairs, making out and shyt. It's dark and there isn't really any light at all. It's not like it's an apartment building that has lights in all the hallways that lead to everyone's door. Anyway, this stupid bytch leans against me a little too hard and i wasn't strong enough to keep my balance. both of us tumble right down to the bottom of the stairs.
I still don't know how neither one of us were hurt.
That shyt makes me laugh now...but damn it was embarrasing at the time
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