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re: Do You Teach Your Kids to Say "Ma'am" or "Sir" As a Sign of Respect?

Posted on 5/3/19 at 10:28 am to
Posted by NPComb
Member since Jan 2019
27457 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 10:28 am to
quote:

frick no. They aren’t in the goddamn Marines.

Jesus, you people are pretty frickin stupid. Da Hell kind of bullshite thread is this?



Know how I know you never served? Only officers and drill instructors rate a sir or ma'am. Also, my kids are told to give everyone the benefit of the doubt until they do something unrespectful, kind of like you. It's called civility. It's usually what separates 1st and 3rd world countries. The United States are rounding second.
Posted by Mr. Misanthrope
Cloud 8
Member since Nov 2012
5514 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 11:34 am to
quote:

How does someone saying yes sir make your life easier?

Well it's not just someone saying "yes sir, no sir, or please and thank you" to me it's me doing the same.

I believe there's an inherent respect offered in these simple verbal courtesies which, at a bare minimum, helps restore some civility to uncivil times.

There's ways of telling someone they're wrong without bluntly saying they're an idiot and don't know their arse from a whole in the ground. And it doesn't necessarily require "yes sir", "no sir" to do so without being a rude jackass. Tact. Politely point out their error and acknowledging you understand their take on the issue.

Habitually being polite in all the small day to day interactions makes it easier to remain cordial in the more difficult situations. It makes communicating with another person much easier which makes compromises and problem resolution more likely.

That's how it makes my life easier.
This post was edited on 5/3/19 at 11:51 am
Posted by jlovel7
Louisiana
Member since Aug 2014
21347 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 12:06 pm to
quote:

I am a bit older than you, but I still can't bring myself to leave off the "Mr." and "Ms." when talking to friends parents or my in-laws. I can just picture my Dad scowling 'That's MR. JIM to you, boy."



Where I'm from people would never dare be so pretentious as to demand that from someone. That's the part that bothers me. When people get upset and act as though you've just called them a motherfricker because you just called them by their name .
Posted by Mizz-SEC
Inbred Huntin' In The SEC
Member since Jun 2013
19257 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 12:22 pm to
quote:

What some call “Southern manners” is simply proper etiquette, and I’m grateful our parents prioritized this behavior. My brother and I both serve the general public as employment and enjoy it because we were raised to apply respect, empathy and manners. This was whipped into us and directly contributed to our success as adults.



Agree with this 100%.

Whether reciprocated or not, I think good manners leaves a positive impression subliminally with others (friends, employers, fellow employees, etc.) to where they're glad to do you favors or steer good things your way.

It's not why I do it, but I attribute it as a residue to good manners.
Posted by TigerCoon
Member since Nov 2005
18889 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 1:26 pm to


I made my point badly. I meant my Dad would have objected when I was a kid if he heard me call an adult by their first name. If a kid called him by his first name, he wouldn't have cared.
Posted by TigerCoon
Member since Nov 2005
18889 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 1:27 pm to
duplicate post
This post was edited on 5/3/19 at 1:29 pm
Posted by MiDixon Yermouth
Member since Sep 2018
295 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 2:08 pm to
quote:

frick no. They aren’t in the goddamn Marines.


Jesus, you people are pretty frickin stupid. Da Hell kind of bull shite thread is this?



Joking or not... "manners", mutual respect, morals, consideration for others, the whole "do unto others" concept, "signs of respect", and the social protocols that follow, are the only things that separate us from animals... or savages... and over history been the fabric that holds societies together. And when a society stops practicing, the destruction of that nation begins.

Of course it was fiction but was deliberate that the writers of the show "The Wire", portrayed the downfall of most feared man in the social ruins of Baltimore's ghetto came at the hands of a 7 year old boy. It may sound stupid to some to teach children respect for elders... but don't forget.... while some of us may think we are alphas at the top of the food chain, scoff at social refinement, proper manners, and showing respect to all, if it just comes down to survival of the fittest it only takes a few lbs. of pressure... or just the strength of a 4 year old girl... to rip your brains right out of your skull.

If anything, this country desperately needs more manners and consideration for others taught, not less.
Posted by Bert Macklin FBI
Quantico
Member since May 2013
9045 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 2:10 pm to
I tell my son that having manners may not have an immediate payoff but not having manners could have an immediate impact negatively.

People notice if you don't thank the person that held the door for you or if you are rude to the waiter. You could lose the girl that you like or miss out on business opportunities.

No one gets mad at anyone for being polite.
This post was edited on 5/3/19 at 2:19 pm
Posted by jlovel7
Louisiana
Member since Aug 2014
21347 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 3:43 pm to
quote:

I made my point badly. I meant my Dad would have objected when I was a kid if he heard me call an adult by their first name. If a kid called him by his first name, he wouldn't have cared.



Understood. It was made very clear to me by my GF's family that if I (even accidentally) called her parents by their names and not Mr. and Mrs. so and so (I'm 24 and have only ever known them as me being a full on adult) that they would be legitimately mad at me and upset about it and insulted. I found that ridiculous. I told my GF that she could have literally called my own dad Motherfricker and he'd probably think it was hilarious. And even if she actually did it seriously he would almost assuredly play it off and still pat the person on the back and laugh about it. Just never really loses his cool about anything. I understand manners and am more polite than most but the fact that an adult calling another adult by their name especially if they already know each other could be considered disrespectful is really perplexing to me.
Posted by Perfect Circle
S W Alabama
Member since Sep 2017
6855 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 4:37 pm to
Asked this question to a friend of mine from southern California, he says "sir" and "ma'am" were commonly used there, at least through the mid-70s.
Posted by rilesrick
Member since Mar 2015
6704 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 5:37 pm to
Of course I did. What kind of parent wouldn’t ?
Posted by Num1TigerSpam
Member since Mar 2018
245 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 5:40 pm to
No, that's dumb as fck. That's your family. My kids aren't servants
Posted by TigerStripes06
SWLA
Member since Sep 2006
30032 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 5:41 pm to
I say it to pretty much everyone except my family members. They didn’t teach it to me though, I learned it in school. Private school drilled that shite into my brain.
Posted by A Menace to Sobriety
Member since Jun 2018
29160 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 5:54 pm to
You're fricking scum if you don't call people sir or ma'am regularly.
Posted by Tunasntigers92
The Boot
Member since Sep 2014
23658 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 5:55 pm to
That’s such fricking bullshite
Posted by northshorebamaman
Cochise County AZ
Member since Jul 2009
35519 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 6:01 pm to
Posted by LouisianaLady
Member since Mar 2009
81222 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 6:05 pm to
I only use those words when it’s someone I know will appreciate the buttering up. An older lady in the grocery store or something. When I waited tables, I always used sir and ma’am for the older customers.

I don’t use it anywhere else though and I personally wouldn’t make my hypothetical kids say it. I’m an extremely respectful and polite person.. overly so in some situations. I think you can be respectful without it.

My dad worked shift work and was gone a lot. I remember several instances when he was home and overheard my mom and I just having regular casual conversation, and him leaping up from across the room at me because at some point in the conversation that neither myself nor my mother noticed, I didn’t say ma’am. That kind of hot headed ~demand for respect~ when nobody was being disrespected to begin with is absurd.
Posted by Dandy Lion
Member since Feb 2010
50255 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 6:09 pm to
quote:

Apparently there, it is looked at as disrespectful.
I think it's called Yankee Shaming.
Posted by Jake88
Member since Apr 2005
68413 posts
Posted on 5/3/19 at 6:12 pm to
No, and I wasn't taught that either, but I say it frequently as an adult.
This post was edited on 5/3/19 at 6:13 pm
Posted by KK
US
Member since Nov 2010
59 posts
Posted on 5/4/19 at 2:33 pm to
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