re: Do I Have To Tell My Fiancé If A Former GF Wants To Meet Up With Me?

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So should I just not say anything and keep it simple and easy?

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I'mma go ahead and tell you now that doing this behind your fiancee's back and expecting it to be a secret forever is not going to work. The truth always comes out. Always.

Be it somebody saw you guys, or ex tells a mutual friend yall had dinner, or ex takes photos and puts it on social media, or ex gets mad at you a few years down the road and tells your now wife.

My advice to you is to not be an idiot.

Someone needs to show you how the "red button" on your phone works. You don't need to listen to her shite. Why does her opinion mean so much?

IF she really doesn't mean that much to you, why do you want to meet her.

You really aren't ready for marriage.

It's called BOUNDARIES. Your "fiance" need to run!

If you really thought it was no big deal, you wouldn't be asking. You've admitted that telling your future wife would cause drama, so why would you do it? You already know the answer to your questions.

OP is a retard

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Change "dinner" to "coffee" and you may make it out of this alive.

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Bring your fiancée along. Introduce them.

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Alright I told fiancé last night at dinner.

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It’s been a busy day but I’m approaching a late afternoon lull

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Busy day moving furniture to a storage facility I’ll take it.

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Her response blew me away.

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It shouldn’t have. Just go Netflix and chill with your ex.

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OMLandshark

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Will you shut up?

Now...

I told her and real short version is that she told me to meet ex for dinner.

Short version went as follows:

“I’m going to tell her no.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“Do you still have feelings for her?”

“No.”

“Alright then. So what’s the problem?”

“You don’t think it’s a bad idea?”

“Only if you still have feelings for her. In which case, we need to have a serious conversation. Do you still have feelings for her? Be honest with yourself and me.”

“No.”

“Ok then. I don’t see why you should tell her it’s a bad idea.”

“So you don’t have a problem with me and an ex meeting for dinner?”

“No. Because I trust you.”

“Really? That simple huh?”

“You’re going to be around other women. That’s inevitable. You will be in some situation at some point that will tempt you. It will happen. I trust you to do the right thing. I’m glad you told me about it. It tells me that you are honest with me. I want you to be honest with yourself too. We have to be honest with each other and trust each other. That is how it must be.”

My first reaction was what is she up to? Is this a trick? This is a test. She’s telling me it’s ok and to do it to see if I will then get pissed because I failed the test.

But then, as we continued to talk last night, I believed that she really does feel this way. Every woman in my past has been insecure, jealous, and clingy. She was none of this. She admitted that she wasn’t warm on the idea of an ex and I meeting for dinner but she just trusts me to do the right thing.

I am filled with love and admiration for her. I’m going to meet my ex, we will have dinner, and that’s it. I’m not worried. My fiancé’s faith in me has reinforced my faith in myself. I already had it, I knew nothing would happen, but hearing it from her just elevated it and reinforced it.

When you open yourself up to someone you have to make yourself vulnerable. Otherwise you never really put your faith in someone. My fiancé’s faith in me has given me faith in her. I did not have faith in her response to this awkward situation. My initial thought was to hide it to avoid any drama. This would have been drama in past relationships. But she’s not like those past experiences.

She is making me a better man. And she is making me want to be a better man for her.

This can't be serious and if it is I seriously don't know how some of you mother frickers dress yourselves everyday.

You’re going to be around other women in your life.

You’re not going to be in an intimate 1-on-1 setting with a woman you’ve slept with and had feelings for before.

You’ve already admitted you want to see the ex because you have something to prove to her. You don’t have that emotion towards someone if you’ve totally and absolutely removed them from your life and you’re emotionally disconnected from them. Both you and your fiancé are idiots and your marriage is doomed to fail.