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Started By
Message
re: Divorce rates plunged in Kentucky after new 50/50 shared custody law,
Posted on 9/9/25 at 8:33 am to Darth_Vader
Posted on 9/9/25 at 8:33 am to Darth_Vader
quote:
That sounds like a system problem where you live.
Agreed, hence why I said laws like what was passed OP should have worked towards addressing these kind of issues in conjunction.
Posted on 9/9/25 at 8:35 am to Boston Bob
Current custody and divorce laws are downright baffling. How anyone truly thinks it’s fair and reasonable is beyond my comprehension.
Going through it is the most frustrating thing a man can experience in his life. It backs you into a corner and forces you to fight your way out. Everyone pretends that the outcome is perfectly fine and acceptable, and if you disagree YOU are the crazy one. It does harden you in ways that are both good and bad I guess.
Really hope this law makes its way to us though.
Going through it is the most frustrating thing a man can experience in his life. It backs you into a corner and forces you to fight your way out. Everyone pretends that the outcome is perfectly fine and acceptable, and if you disagree YOU are the crazy one. It does harden you in ways that are both good and bad I guess.
Really hope this law makes its way to us though.
This post was edited on 9/9/25 at 8:36 am
Posted on 9/9/25 at 8:35 am to SpqrTiger
quote:
I requested 50/50 and couldn’t get it even with a squeaky clean record.
There is some old research about how a "home base" is important for children and this is the conservative, traditional position within the state, as we're a conservative state.
Lots of our psychologists and custody evaluators who are part of the system protect and amplify this philosophy, They create the justification for the traditional view. The judges create the system that creates value for the traditional psychologists. Nobody wants to admit they were wrong for decades, so the system protects itself.
Posted on 9/9/25 at 8:36 am to SlowFlowPro
quote:
The LA rule with shared custody takes into account their respective incomes, just FYI. So if they both work and make similar money, there won't be much, if any, CS
Welp, I can say from a first hand perspective, that you are wrong. I have 50/50 of my daughter, and I pay plenty of child support, and I was even forced to pay spousal support from the time we filed for divorce to six months after the divorce went final. We both worked, and I did not cheat, I did not physically or mentally abuse, I was never unemployed, have no history of substance abuse, and in all honesty, I never even yelled at her. And on top of all that, because I'm not a piece of shite, I still pay for half of everything our dughter needs, school supplies, uniforms, dance classes, soccer, birthday parties, doctor visits, etc.
Posted on 9/9/25 at 8:38 am to SlowFlowPro
Exactly it. That was their line of reasoning.
Posted on 9/9/25 at 8:42 am to Homey the Clown
Did you make significantly more money than her?
Posted on 9/9/25 at 8:43 am to Homey the Clown
quote:
Welp, I can say from a first hand perspective, that you are wrong.
That's how the law is written.
quote:
A.(1) "Shared custody" means that each parent has physical custody of the child for an approximately equal amount of time.
(2) If there is a joint custody order or joint plan for implementation providing for shared custody, or if the court finds by a preponderance of the evidence that shared custody exists, the basic child support obligation shall first be multiplied by one and one-half and then divided between the parents in proportion to their respective adjusted gross incomes.
(3) Each parent's theoretical child support obligation shall then be cross multiplied by the actual percentage of time the child spends with the other party to determine the basic child support obligation based on the amount of time spent with the other party.
LINK
quote:
and I was even forced to pay spousal support from the time we filed for divorce to six months after the divorce went final.
Now THAT is something else. That's how interim spousal support works.
Posted on 9/9/25 at 8:46 am to SpqrTiger
quote:
Exactly it. That was their line of reasoning.
I agree it needs to be revisited.
That system worked when parenting roles were in line with gender roles, where in almost every case the primary caregiver was the mom, due to being female. Moms also worked less. Now that females work more and men have taken a larger role in the domestic side of things, that view (at least as the default view) needs revision.
But, as I said, this is a conservative state and the system has been built in a certain way. It's very tough to stop the inertia of that combination of systemic self preservation and social culture.
Posted on 9/9/25 at 8:47 am to ScopeCreep
quote:
The State of Louisiana sucks.
FTFY
Posted on 9/9/25 at 8:48 am to alajones
quote:
If a 50/50 dad has to pay for half already, why does he also have to pay for the other half
He’s not telling the whole story. It still depends on who the custodial parent is
Posted on 9/9/25 at 8:50 am to The Third Leg
quote:
Damn. Blows my mind that we in 2025 and 50/50 custody isn’t the standard.
Know that in 2025, when a person says they want “equality”, they don’t mean they want things to be equal.
Posted on 9/9/25 at 8:51 am to Darth_Vader
Top. Men. So stop asking.
Posted on 9/9/25 at 8:57 am to jorconalx
quote:
He’s not telling the whole story. It still depends on who the custodial parent is
With shared custody, I do not believe the domiciliary parent status matters for child support, like it would in a standard joint or sole custody situation.
Same law as above
quote:
(7) The parent owing the greater amount of child support shall owe to the other parent the difference between the two amounts as a child support obligation. The amount owed shall not be higher than the amount which that parent would have owed if he or she were a domiciliary parent.
That shows the distinction, capping the shared custody calculation at the amount that parent would owe in a normal custody-support scenario.
Compare this to the default joint-sole custody statute
quote:
D. The party without legal custody or nondomiciliary party shall owe his or her total child support obligation as a money judgment of child support to the custodial or domiciliary party, minus any court-ordered direct payments made on behalf of the child for work-related net child care costs, health insurance premiums, extraordinary medical expenses, or extraordinary expenses provided as adjustments to the schedule.
Posted on 9/9/25 at 8:57 am to Big Gorilla
quote:
Live in North Dakota the first 4 years. You make it through that shithole you have your self a winner.
We did two years, I feel like that was enough to know she's a winner. That and we are past the 25 year mark.
Posted on 9/9/25 at 8:57 am to Boston Bob
50/50 is presumption, not requirement.
If DV is an issue, judge can address that.
But honestly, if a man is beating his wife, is the assumption that he is also beating the kids?
I don’t want women or men to stay in DV situations but I don’t think this presumption makes that happen
If DV is an issue, judge can address that.
But honestly, if a man is beating his wife, is the assumption that he is also beating the kids?
I don’t want women or men to stay in DV situations but I don’t think this presumption makes that happen
Posted on 9/9/25 at 8:58 am to Fat and Happy
quote:
It doesn’t put them at risk.
You may be right about this and I'd like to see some stats in a few years. Right now the marriage-divorce-custody system is broken and we need to try something new.
I'm not sure the custodial disputes don't encourage violence, abuse, and neglect. I'm watching some acquaintences go through a nasty divorce and custody battle. The way it turns up the temperature of the dispute is absolutely poisoning the kids, regardless of if it turns violent or just verbal.
This 50/50 thing may be a solution to that. Too many kids get a raw deal because their parents are dicks, which makes it harder for them to study and be social.
Posted on 9/9/25 at 8:59 am to The Third Leg
quote:
Blows my mind that we in 2025 and 50/50 custody isn’t the standard.
Because that arrangement is rarely what is "in the childs best interest".
50/50 is lazy judge driven because they got sick of trying custody cases. I get it.
But one week in a stable environment (lets say its at dads house) then the child is shuffled off to another household where the rules are relaxed, maybe Mom is enjoying her new freedom by fricking 15 different dudes and doesnt have time to spend with the child.
Now lets repeat that week after week after week. You have a very confused and poorly developed child.
Some can make 50/50 work, most cant.
This post was edited on 9/9/25 at 9:03 am
Posted on 9/9/25 at 9:02 am to tadman
quote:
I'm not sure the custodial disputes don't encourage violence, abuse, and neglect. I'm watching some acquaintences go through a nasty divorce and custody battle. The way it turns up the temperature of the dispute is absolutely poisoning the kids, regardless of if it turns violent or just verbal.
This 50/50 thing may be a solution to that. Too many kids get a raw deal because their parents are dicks, which makes it harder for them to study and be social.
The system needs changing and moving to a system where 50/50 is at least more common, if it can't be the default, is a good thing.
However, in many of these nasty divorces, there are underlying actions of parties that cause it. One of the biggest patterns you will see is one parent who was not that active/present in the day to day caring of the kids trying to overtly "make up" for it, which creates lots of projection that leads to conflict. You always have to keep this in mind when you hear about nasty divorces.
Sometimes it's just mental illness (like a personality disorder) or abuse we as friends/outsiders didn't know about...but often it's that "trying io make it up" stuff.
Posted on 9/9/25 at 9:12 am to BluegrassBelle
quote:
Women are more likely to abuse the children in the relationship versus their male partner.
If that’s the case, then shouldn’t a 50/50 presumption be an improvement?
I mean.. if the whole argument against 50/50 revolves around domestic violence concerns, why would the party more likely to abuse children receive custody by default?
Posted on 9/9/25 at 9:15 am to Boston Bob
What kind of psychopath thinks 50/50 custody and lower divorce rates are a bad thing?
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