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re: Divorce is brutal.

Posted on 8/11/20 at 8:44 am to
Posted by SantaFe
Baton Rouge
Member since Apr 2019
6663 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 8:44 am to
True,Divorce is no picnic.Dated the woman for 6 years before we were married.I worked while she went to grad school and she got her PhD. After 15 years of marriage she said I was a boring guy and wanted a divorce ,I examined her cell phone bill and found she was talking to old high school dudes. In the end she got what She wanted,to be a slut.Well, maybe when I turn 92 I’ll slice her head off with a Katana. Evil does exist.
This post was edited on 8/11/20 at 8:46 am
Posted by dandyjohn
Member since Apr 2009
804 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 9:15 am to
I don't care if I'm late to this. Try ALS.

Not to minimize, but you're going through something that quite a lot of people go through and you have tons of resources to help you because of that.

ALS on the other hand has none of those advantages, is 100% terminal, and has basically no resources.

It's all relative and there are things that are much worse relative to what you're going through.
Posted by jchamil
Member since Nov 2009
16679 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 9:28 am to
quote:

They need you more than ever. I promise. God Damn I promise you they need you. And don't talk bad about their mama. Just be Daddy.


quote:

And don't talk bad about their mama. Just be Daddy.


Can't state that enough coming from the kid's perspective
Posted by Floyd Dawg
Silver Creek, GA
Member since Jul 2018
4070 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 9:35 am to
quote:

I’m not going to say it has never happened, but I don’t know a single divorced person who says, “Got divorced, it went really well”.


THIS. RIGHT. HERE.

I had as easy a divorce as you can have (no kids, no real assets) and it STILL was a total clusterfrick. I kept the house and the debt (I made more money than she did)and she got anything out of the house she wanted except the appliances (which she didn't have use for anyway). Didn't even have to pay alimony.

My "easy" divorce took nearly a year to finalize from service of papers to final judgement.
Posted by DemonKA3268
Parts Unknown
Member since Oct 2015
19282 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 9:39 am to
quote:

And don't talk bad about their mama. Just be Daddy.
quote:

Can't state that enough coming from the kid's perspective


Say it again! I never did with my girls. I wish I could say the same for my ex but they know.
Posted by wasteland
City of peace
Member since Apr 2011
5608 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 9:41 am to
Pics of ex? Does she do butt stuff?
Posted by caro81
Member since Jul 2017
5081 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 9:47 am to
quote:

You should try cancer.


you should try to be less of a dick
Posted by Supermoto Tiger
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2010
9963 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 9:48 am to
quote:

Divorce is brutal.
quote:

Not to go into details but god damn it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever been through

That really depends on a lot of things. Thankfully, we didn't have any kids (excluding the foreign exchange student that she was fricking while he was with us).
We were only married for 3 years. We built the house which had about 60% equity. I kept the house, gave her 1/2 of the equity, she moved to Colorado and I haven't seen her since.

We never hired an attorney, she kept her new car and its liability , I kept my truck.

From the time we were dating, then living together, then married was totaled only 6 years...you pretty much know what you came into the relationship with...this is yours...this is mine.
Posted by Mr Perfect
Member since Mar 2010
17836 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 9:49 am to
very great thread op. this why I just Chuck em after a few. not worth risking my life on a girl. no way in the world. take care op
Posted by SuperSaint
Sorting Out OT BS Since '2007'
Member since Sep 2007
140462 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 9:52 am to
quote:

Does she do butt stuff?
they all do butt stuff.





They just may not be doing it with you.
Posted by Oilfieldbiology
Member since Nov 2016
37751 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 9:54 am to
quote:

Total blindside


quote:

.I hired a PI


Really? It was bad enough to hire a PI but you’re blindsided?
Posted by WinnPtiger
Fort Worth
Member since Mar 2011
24009 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 9:56 am to
quote:

Thankfully, we didn't have any kids (excluding the foreign exchange student that she was fricking while he was with us)



go on....
Posted by Supermoto Tiger
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2010
9963 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 10:03 am to
quote:

She up and left one day when I wasn’t home and took the furniture, kids and over half out bank account.


quote:

I don’t even understand how this is possible. Do you not have a ring doorbell?
Or any neighbors who give a shite about you at all?

How did a moving truck show up and unload your house and leave with your kids and you have absolutely no idea?


That's exactly how mine went down.
Monday morning, she was "sleeping", kissed her as I left for work...2 hours later neighbor calls me asking about a U-haul in my driveway. I called her and she said there is no U-haul in the driveway. I relayed that back to the neighbor and her exact words were "I am looking at the U-Haul and you need to get over there". I immediately left work, my house was less than 5 min away and she was gone. Haven't seen her since.
Posted by Ash Williams
South of i-10
Member since May 2009
18180 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 10:17 am to
quote:

I immediately left work, my house was less than 5 min away and she was gone. Haven't seen her since.


holy crap

How long ago was that?
Posted by lsufan_26
Member since Feb 2004
12559 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 10:24 am to
quote:

Posted by
AlbertMeansWell

Divorce is brutal.
Not to go into details but god damn it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever been through.

Did you tell her Albert means well?
Posted by Supermoto Tiger
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2010
9963 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 10:25 am to
quote:

I immediately left work, my house was less than 5 min away

quote:

holy crap

How long ago was that?


Man that was 1999, the good ole days, pre-Katrina.
Office on S. Sherwood and house off of stumberg. Probably not even 3 miles
Posted by LSUFanHouston
NOLA
Member since Jul 2009
37333 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 10:37 am to
OP, I'm very sorry you are going through this. My wife decided beginning of June that she wanted a divorce. We both made some mistakes, me more than her.

She has refused all attempts at counseling, etc. I've been going to counseling weekly since then, on my own, and it has helped me both understand some of my behaviors, and also helped me process. I would highly recommend this, even if it's just you going.

Mine has not been as extreme as yours (or some others that have posted here) but it still has been by far the worst thing in my life, and that includes losing everything in Katrina.

Even with counseling, I find myself to be very lost. She hasn't dissappeared, and we communicate regularly to exchange kids and to try to work out the terms of settlement. She hired an attorney very quickly, but mainly just to give her advice and draw up paperwork. Child support is what it is, and we are working through the other financial issues.

My soon to be ex has had days where she can be the nicest person possible, and days where she is a complete nutcase towards me. She feels that her life will be perfect without me being married to her, that all her problems in life are connected to our marriage. For her sake, I hope she is right, but I know she is not, and it's going to be bad when she realizes that.

Between friendship, dating, and marriage, I have known her just over half my life. We have kids. We very much had a life together.

To the people saying cancer, ALS, etc is harder... OK? Do you want a medal? OP said it's the hardest thing he has ever been through, not the hardest thing in the history of the world.
Posted by Ash Williams
South of i-10
Member since May 2009
18180 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 10:37 am to
quote:

Man that was 1999


Im assuming yall didnt have kids if you avent talked to her in 21 years
Posted by maxxrajun70
baton rouge
Member since Oct 2011
3726 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 10:43 am to
quote:

I'll see your basic divorce, and raise you a divorce with three kids, and a business failure.
Posted by terriblegreen
Souf Badden Rewage
Member since Aug 2011
9749 posts
Posted on 8/11/20 at 10:46 am to
It's not that bad if your ex/soon to be ex isn't a vindictive count. Mine went smooth as hell, but we both put the needs of the child first. We are actually good friends now.
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