re: Dinner Host Asking for Money when you are Leaving

Seems like a lack of communication. For our Christmas/Thanksgiving gatherings, everyone brings a dish and its all talked about beforehand.

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Reminds me of the batchelor cook outs where I’ve been asked to bring my own steak, potatoe, beer etc.

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We have a guy friend who brings a fricking Ziplock of chicken breasts or whatever when we have BBQs. I'm always like "Dude, you don't have to bring your own chicken"

For me, Thanksgiving is something that my mom taught me to never show up empty-handed for. Either you bring some type of side dish, desert, or just straight up cash to help out whoever was the main host. Even in my case for years as a broke college student, you could count on me to go to dollar tree to get some silverware and napkins .

Idk if that is customary for everyone else, but that's just how I was raised. Id have absolutely no issue if they asked me to bring/pitch in something ahead of time. I'm used to that, but if they sprung that up on me after the fact at dinner, they may never receive that money.

SN: My biggest pet peeves regarding Thanksgiving. People who don't bring a single dish or supply anything for the meal, but they are the first to make a to-go plate. And to up that trashy level, on my in-law side, there's a family who the only thing they will bring to Thanksgiving or any other family event is tupperware containers to take home as much food as possible. Nobody says anything, but secretly I despise them.

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That's why I bring a big bowl of White Rice and Butter to any dinner invitation. That way I don't feel guilty when I refuse the request to leave $30 on the table when we depart.

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I'm more of a bring 3 bottles of wine and drink them all myself kind of guy, but I feel you.

I have NEVER had this happen and would be fricking floored.

I have had parents/parents in law offer $$$ to pay me when I cook Christmas dinner, but I always refuse.

I’d never go back.

And when asked I would tell them why.

You either offer to cook it all or you ask people to bring dishes and you handle the bird and whatever other meat.

My dad and uncles would not have come to blows, but things would have got heated if someone offered money. “I invited you here I don’t expect $$$!”

“But I worked overtime this month.”

“Nah man put it in your pocket. I’m not taking it. “

Something along those lines. Polar opposite.

I don't have a problem with it generally, but it should have been brought up before.

Three types of people I hate more than anything:

1. Politicians
2. Hypocrites
3. Cheap Skates

I always say that REAL family and friends don't keep score. Its your responsibility to make sure that the score doesn't get out of whack though.