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re: Did Your Parents Argue In Front of You?
Posted on 7/22/22 at 7:27 am to SaintlyTiger88
Posted on 7/22/22 at 7:27 am to SaintlyTiger88
I never saw my folks argue or fight, but later in life, after all the kids were grown, they started bickering more and more.
1
Posted on 7/22/22 at 7:49 am to Naked Bootleg
quote:
I was about 10 when my mom (divorced, no pics) began a string of shitty relationships. Screaming matches, physically abusive, etc. Looking back, it threw me for a loop and I was in my early 20's before I figured out how to process it.
I grew up in a similar situation. Parents divorced when I was 10 and my mom went on to date, get married, get divorced over and over again. She would throw plates, get out of the car when we were all in it to "walk home", etc. It fricked me (and my siblings) up and finally went to therapy in my 30's to figure out how to deal with it. I barely have a relationship with her now, and I'm ok with it. Having gone though all that with her, my husband and I do not argue in front of our kid.
Posted on 7/22/22 at 7:54 am to ILurkThereforeIAm
Does saying something to piss my wife off so she’ll turn her anger and belittling on me and treat the kids with some dignity count?
Posted on 7/22/22 at 7:55 am to The Third Leg
The night my dad died, we were over at my parents' house earlier in the night chatting about going see my daughter's basketball game the next morning.
My dad was yelling from his office about how bad it was gonna be raining in the morning.
"It's gone be raining like shite in the morning!"
My mom looked at my gf and said "I'm gonna kill that MFer I swear to God".
So when he died in his sleep at 3am and we all assembled at their house. First thing my mom says when we pulled up, "I didn't do it. I promise I didn't do it."
The coroner and EBRSO deputy even laughed and confirmed that she really didn't do it.
He died a few months before their 50th wedding anniversary.
My parents argued like that for years. shite talking and they made up quickly. No violence or really degrading stuff. And we knew they loved each other. Context is key.
My dad was yelling from his office about how bad it was gonna be raining in the morning.
"It's gone be raining like shite in the morning!"
My mom looked at my gf and said "I'm gonna kill that MFer I swear to God".
So when he died in his sleep at 3am and we all assembled at their house. First thing my mom says when we pulled up, "I didn't do it. I promise I didn't do it."
The coroner and EBRSO deputy even laughed and confirmed that she really didn't do it.
He died a few months before their 50th wedding anniversary.
My parents argued like that for years. shite talking and they made up quickly. No violence or really degrading stuff. And we knew they loved each other. Context is key.
This post was edited on 7/22/22 at 8:32 am
Posted on 7/22/22 at 7:59 am to Abstract Queso Dip
quote:
A large part of the problem was my dad unwilling to admit to hearing problems.
Dealing with this now
My mom bitched for 20 minutes yesterday about how he refuses to wear his hearing aids but gets mad when something comes up that he wasn’t aware of
Posted on 7/22/22 at 8:07 am to SaintlyTiger88
My stepdad was a drunk. He took us in when I was 4. My sister was born when I turned 6 and my stepdads mom died 2 weeks before sister was born. That’s when the drinking started. He hated the fact that I knew my mawmaw and my little sister never got the chance
They would lock me in my room to “not fight in front of me” but walls are paper thin. They shite he said about me EVERY SINGLE NIGHT was unbelievable and made me 10x the father he ever will be. It was a brutal time that made me despise my parents. Me and dad are cool now but I’ll never forgive my mom for allowing that shite to go on for years until I moved out at 15
Me and the wife never argue in front of the kids. Ever. The only thing they hear is me get loud for a second telling my wife we aren’t doing this in front of the kids and to either wait till they are gone or get over it now.
They would lock me in my room to “not fight in front of me” but walls are paper thin. They shite he said about me EVERY SINGLE NIGHT was unbelievable and made me 10x the father he ever will be. It was a brutal time that made me despise my parents. Me and dad are cool now but I’ll never forgive my mom for allowing that shite to go on for years until I moved out at 15
Me and the wife never argue in front of the kids. Ever. The only thing they hear is me get loud for a second telling my wife we aren’t doing this in front of the kids and to either wait till they are gone or get over it now.
This post was edited on 7/22/22 at 8:11 am
Posted on 7/22/22 at 8:08 am to OweO
quote:
This thread explains a lot. No wonder some of you are a bunch of fruit cakes.
quote:
OweO
Posted on 7/22/22 at 6:21 pm to AuBeerStud
quote:
He came to visit and he was on his iPad when he went to the bathroom. He left it on the couch with his email open. I looked over at it and one of the subject fields was from a obvious gay site. So I went to the site and searched for dudes from his city that were his age, and bam, there he was. Getting arse plowed by some other old dude. (No pics) It’s kind of strange living all your life thinking your dad is a heterosexual, then suddenly you’re looking at pictures of him getting his butt stuffed. It took a lot of jack Daniel’s to get over that one!
Posted on 7/22/22 at 6:26 pm to Gee Grenouille
Wow surprised how many “never”s I see in here. My parents argued all the time, and even remember seeing my dad push my mom down on the ground. They got divorced soon after that.
Posted on 7/22/22 at 6:33 pm to SaintlyTiger88
My parents argued in front of us. My mom likes to pick and cause arguments. Her mom did, too. My dad was not perfect, but a lot of the arguments were because my mother could not be happy. She had to prove she was better, smarter, or whatever and she took it out on my dad.
I did the same for a while but when I realized happiness is of my own doing - I learned to communicate better - and there are less arguments in this house - I even stopped arguing with my mother when she picked
I did the same for a while but when I realized happiness is of my own doing - I learned to communicate better - and there are less arguments in this house - I even stopped arguing with my mother when she picked
Posted on 7/22/22 at 6:40 pm to SaintlyTiger88
quote:
So has anyone one else experienced this with their parents? Parents who hate each other?
My folks went through something quite similar after I had left the state and my brother was still there. Seriously nasty hateful fighting and it looked like divorce was inevitable for a good while, but somehow they pressed through it, and some 30 years later my dad is taking care of my mom in their old age and they’re still together. Thank God, and I mean quite literally, thank Him for that. They both need each other more than ever right now and that would have been a huge mistake.
Posted on 7/22/22 at 7:28 pm to GreenRockTiger
quote:so your mom and her mom were being female
My mom likes to pick and cause arguments. Her mom did, too
Posted on 7/23/22 at 1:28 am to ShaneTheMaster
quote:
Wow surprised how many “never”s I see in here
I’m surprised to see so much of the opposite. My parents are legit best friends; as are Jones’s parents.
He and I never ever argue.
Posted on 7/23/22 at 4:58 am to SaintlyTiger88
The Days of Wine and Roses……
My parents were basically WWE household edition. Finally got divorced in their mid 60s.
Dad suffered cluster headaches and mixed with being an alcoholic, the midnight screaming sessions were a hoot. Especially when he loaded a shotgun and threatened to blow his own head off.
Yay
My parents were basically WWE household edition. Finally got divorced in their mid 60s.
Dad suffered cluster headaches and mixed with being an alcoholic, the midnight screaming sessions were a hoot. Especially when he loaded a shotgun and threatened to blow his own head off.
Yay
Posted on 7/23/22 at 6:08 am to Westbank111
quote:
But I’ve got to ask this, How’d you stumble on a gay website, or are you gay all-together? Asking for a friend, lol jk - And btw, I am actually a social hippy libertarian kind of guy & fiscally conservative & pro-American! I don’t care what people do with themselves as long as they don’t jam it in our faces. I think women/good & fine women are God’s greatest gift on Earth, and can’t understand a man liking a man, but I sincerely do not judge negatively, I know many cool gay folks, several people I knew growing up, in business etc… I really don’t care one way or the other, I care about someone’s soul, heart and character.
It’s a pleasure when you occasionally get away with a double down vote.
Posted on 7/23/22 at 7:55 am to SaintlyTiger88
quote:
Did Your Parents Argue In Front of You?
My childhood memories are filled with my parents being verbally and physically abusive toward one another. Multiple times a week (verbal). Incredibly loud. I always used to worry about when the physical would start.
One time, a loud argument started between them in the kitchen hallway, near the refrigerator and freezer. This turned into a physical escalation and I remember seeing my mom getting hit by my dad. Groceries, at that time, were being unloaded. I picked up a can of Lysol and cracked my dad over his head to get him to stop. It worked. But it's not something any child should have to do.
They're still together. My mom now has dementia and my dad has cancer. My dad is a former shell of himself, and the tables have turned. My mom is now the violent one. And I later found out in life that she suffers from a borderline personality disorder with an axis of narcissism.
Many of the things I thought were true in my life because of the way my mom positioned them to me, simply weren't that way. I was too young, naive, and trusting to think otherwise.
Foundations are so important. I realize that my parents did the best they could, but in many ways, they didn't set me and my siblings up for success. As an adult, it took me a long time to become aware of my flaws (manipulation, keeping myself in a "victim" mentality and control - these are things that my mom still practices today), and work daily to change them. I am having to unlearn things today and rebuild my new foundation.
The blessing is that I have a fantastic relationship with my children and have never been one to display or demonstrate violence or make derogatory remarks to my former spouse. At the end of the day, she is still their mother and I am still their father --- and they don't need to pick sides. And while we both failed at marriage, I am hopeful they can pick out some positives examples we have set for them later on in life, when they go on to have their own family.
This post was edited on 7/23/22 at 8:04 am
Posted on 7/23/22 at 9:01 am to SaintlyTiger88
Absolutely. Been married almost 50 years and they still do
Posted on 7/23/22 at 9:14 am to SaintlyTiger88
All the time. The hate was palpable
Posted on 7/23/22 at 9:20 am to SaintlyTiger88
From a broken home, don't remember
Posted on 7/26/22 at 8:25 pm to Oilfieldbiology
quote:
Is your sister your half sister or biological sister?
She’s my half sister, same Mom, different Dad
Look, I want both my parents to be happy, and that will never happen as long as they are together. My adopted Dad can be difficult to live with, trust me, I know. And my Mom has her ways. It’s just a devastating shame they can’t stand each other after all this time, and only stay together to pay the bills. My Mom wants him to leave, but he’s not going anywhere if he can help it.
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