re: Depression is real, and scary

It's not unusual to be nervous as hell after a marriage. Very similar after the initial excitement fades and realittof caring for someone and making the right decisions sink in.

Do yourself a favor though. Go get blood work. Go see an endocrinologist and have them work you up. I dealt with a lot during a very rough patch in life (I'll spare everyone) and meds seemed to be fuel to the fire. My wife demanded my GP do bloodwork.

Turns out the medicine I was using to keep my chronic disease in check wrecked my endocrine system.

Once the endocrinologist got me lined out including the massive testosterone and estrogen swings everything was soooo much better.

I'm on a synthroid now as well as teststerone and an estrogen blocker. Feedback was fricked up. Dropped like 40 lbs as well.

Stress and anxiety can be hard to manage by itself. No sense in fighting that and what could be your body feedback loop as well. Not when it can be managed..

Go over to the tnation forums. There is much about hormones there. Go see an endocrinologist though. NOT just your GP.

Lots of people are having a hard time with this. The fact that all of the chaos is shoved down our throats 24/7 doesn't help those who are struggling either. This may not make sense, but depression can sometimes draw people to negativity and make it an obsession. Take a break from everything that has a screen and go get a pretty good sunburn doing something you haven't done in a while! This will pass

I appreciate you bringing it up. I suffer from major depression and struggle big time in pre-Covid life. My wife has anxiety as well. With each passing week since March, I’ve been worse than prior. I’m isolating to the point I disappear from the world for days at a time in my bedroom. I hide from my wife and kid. My wife has a panic attack and says crazy shite and I find myself distracted with very dark thoughts. We fight and drift apart. 2 weeks into the shutdown, we grew together and my depression pushes us apart. I’m in a pretty bad way lately but taking some measures to climb out. The only good part of this is a new gardening hobby. Not sure how deep this goes?

I can understand what you’re dealing with. Mine hasn’t reached that point, but I know that the deeper issues are just one step away.

I hope you are able to contact a counselor, or anybody who will listen. I don’t have a child, so I can’t imagine the pain associated with dealing with this issue and a kid to raise.

People always say it’s best to surround yourself with loved ones, a hobby, a craft, anything. I’ve managed to keep my days busy from the time I wake up until early evening. I’ve kept the yard looking decent, dabbled in woodworking, and the other stuff I mentioned in the OP.

Counseling has worked for me in the past. My medication has worked wonders. I don’t want to be dependent on it, but it’s for the best, especially during these times.

I’m right there with you man. If I didn’t believe in Jesus I would’ve pulled the trigger years ago. I just don’t want to go to hell. Every fricking day is a struggle and It’s miserable. It’s just gotten so much worse during this pandemic.

Hang in there brother.

I put out the big, bad man vibe and all, but I also struggle with this shite. I’ve avoided meds but it’s tough.

I’d also caution self-medication with booze and weed. Moderation is key.

Biggest help for me is activity and just avoiding the media static.

If you are battling depression, alcohol is not going to help you.

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My wife is very much informed on what I go through.

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This is a huge blessing.

It would be worse to go through your struggle with someone who is not informed and just says get better, trust me.

I feel you brother. I’ve battled what I thought was depression my whole life. About 10 years ago I had a breakdown and finally went to a psychiatrist. Turns out I’m bipolar 2, and after figuring out which meds worked best for me, things are better. I still go up and down, but not nearly as bad. Meditation has helped too. I’d encourage you to see a psychiatrist AND therapist for a period of time to make sure there aren’t more factors in place. Hang in there friend.