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re: Dear OT - What is proper response to a particular dining out with others behavior?

Posted on 1/21/23 at 4:00 pm to
Posted by Handsome Pete
Member since Apr 2019
1816 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 4:00 pm to
I’ve been around this before. If this is like my experience, it can come off as more of a power-play then just somebody ready to go home. I was out with a friend’s family years ago and his dad got up and said let’s go while the rest of us were half way thru dessert. Rest of the family just rolled their eyes and went along with it, clearly wasn’t the first time. Once I realized he wasn’t joking, I stabbed him in the genitals with my fork to show dominance. Then finished dessert with the same fork. That last part may not be true.
Posted by SuperSaint
Sorting Out OT BS Since '2007'
Member since Sep 2007
144540 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 4:02 pm to
quote:

Curious what OT thinks about how to handle this 1st world problem.
bore out his daughters sphincter
Posted by Sao
East Texas Piney Woods
Member since Jun 2009
68123 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 4:02 pm to
quote:

When he stands up tell him sit back down or you’ll put him down. Don’t be afraid to take it as far as it needs to go to establish yourself.


Posted by SuperSaint
Sorting Out OT BS Since '2007'
Member since Sep 2007
144540 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 4:04 pm to
quote:

I stabbed him in the genitals with my fork to show dominance. Then finished dessert with the same fork. That last part may not be true.

quote:

Handsome Pete
bet you aren't even handsome either
Posted by X123F45
Member since Apr 2015
28714 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 4:08 pm to
My in laws actually stay too long after the bill is paid because only my wife ever had any sort of service industry job while in college.

I usually just play with my son until I feel like we have exhausted the good graces of the tip I left. At that point, I cut eyes at my wife.

The wife shuts it all down immediately.

To you young bucks...

Beware any woman who avoids conflict.

You don't want the crazy bitch who constantly starts it. But you definitely don't want the really crazy ones who constantly avoid it.
Posted by WildTchoupitoulas
Member since Jan 2010
44071 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 4:11 pm to
quote:

Curious what OT thinks about how to handle this 1st world problem.

w/e

I'm not leaving until I finish my drink.
Posted by JudgeHolden
Gila River
Member since Jan 2008
18566 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 4:14 pm to
Based on experience, I’d say this isn’t the only thing he’s a jerk about.

But if you do talk to him, give him a chance to tell you if it’s health related. Maybe he gets the fois when he eats out. Maybe he’s diabetic, and he knows he’s going to crash quick when he eats certain things. Maybe he can’t see at night. Who knows.

Is he an alkie or a pill popper? It might explain the randomness of this coming up. Maybe he needs a snort or a hit.
Posted by madamsquirrel
The big somewhere out there
Member since Jul 2009
53480 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 4:19 pm to
Maybe he has to poop

but I am not leaving before my drink/dessert is finished or the bill is paid. If both of those things have happened quit being an arse and leave the table.
Posted by SEClint
New Orleans, LA/Portland, OR
Member since Nov 2006
49086 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 4:26 pm to
Leave before him next time
Posted by GreenRockTiger
vortex to the whirlpool of despair
Member since Jun 2020
53384 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 4:26 pm to
I know of a man who does this, too, he also tells you where to sit at the table when you arrive

Posted by tgrgrd00
Kenner, LA
Member since Jun 2004
10542 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 4:27 pm to
quote:

Curious what OT thinks about how to handle this 1st world problem.


Stop being a dick and preventing the wait staff and restaurant from making money and other people from being able to get a table.

Posted by CaptSpaulding
Member since Feb 2012
6860 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 4:29 pm to
quote:

Maybe he gets the fois when he eats out. Maybe he’s diabetic, and he knows he’s going to crash quick when he eats certain things. Maybe he can’t see at night. Who knows.


The blue pills were starting to kick in. OP said the MIL always goes along with it, right?
Posted by GRTiger
On a roof eating alligator pie
Member since Dec 2008
65903 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 4:37 pm to
Just carry on the tradition with the dipshit your kid marries and stop worrying about it. Offer it as a sign of respect.
Posted by greenbean
USAF Retired - 31 years
Member since Feb 2019
5713 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 4:42 pm to
If he's payin' that is his right.
Posted by NC_Tigah
Make Orwell Fiction Again
Member since Sep 2003
131019 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 4:44 pm to
quote:

it is expected that the experience ends and all depart.
If you pay the check, you control the departure. Right?
Just hang on to the check?

Alternately pay, and when he stands, say "Hang on {insert FIL name}, let's hear what 'X' was saying to 'Y'.

If he pays, go with his flow.

If a third party is paying, go with the flow.
Posted by Bubb
Member since Mar 2010
4090 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 4:48 pm to
Do you have your own vehicle or did you ride with him?
Posted by davyjones
NELA
Member since Feb 2019
33144 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 4:57 pm to
She would excuse herself to the restroom, after which you would excuse yourself to the restroom exactly 6 1/2 minutes later. If she’s got a lick of sense she will be aware of the 6 1/2 minute rule and obviously will wait you out.

From there biology and human instinct takes over and y’all take it to the last stall IN THE MEN’S ROOM. Some people actually get that wrong and take it to the lady’s room and women can literally smell that shite going down…..which means you’re getting taken to the cleaners in divorce court.

ETA….oh shite my bad. Didn’t bother to read and assumed it was question about how to handle another dude’s girlfriend or wife giving you the business with f*ck me eyes at a group dinner in a fine restaurant.
This post was edited on 1/21/23 at 5:00 pm
Posted by MLU
Member since Feb 2017
1677 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 5:09 pm to
quote:

For many years, when dining out with in-laws, after all have eaten, when father-in-law is ready to go, it is expected that the experience ends and all depart.

If staying a bit to talk exceeds his will to be there, he stands up and that is it.

To be clear, about 2/3 of the time it lines up with 'normal' time to end. However, 1/3 of the time it is accepted that when he is ready, all must be ready to go. This is same no matter who pays the bill or drives to the restaurant.

I am sitting at the restaurant alone, as I just called bullchit on this (kidding).

Curious what OT thinks about how to handle this 1st world problem.

I guess I don't understand the issue. If he's ready to go, then he can go. If you're not ready to go, then stay. If everyone else leaves you alone, you win. Enjoy your prize of solitude. I'm sure of others who are not done see you not even bother to move to leave, they will join you and remain as well.
Posted by Darth_Vader
A galaxy far, far away
Member since Dec 2011
69006 posts
Posted on 1/21/23 at 5:16 pm to
Sounds stupid.

I’m a grown man and will come and go as I see fit.*






























* unless Mrs. Vader says she’s ready to go.
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