re: Dating Advice: Are my dating views radical?

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You would've hated my response to her response then. I went into the history of men paying for the date and how it came out of necessity rather than chivalry. That basically men had to pay because women for the most part didn't work out of the house and that without men paying they wouldn't be able to go out. I feel like most people don't realize this.

What this wrong to say as well?

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You would've hated my response to her response then. I went into the history of men paying for the date and how it came out of necessity rather than chivalry. That basically men had to pay because women for the most part didn't work out of the house and that without men paying they wouldn't be able to go out. I feel like most people don't realize this.

What this wrong to say as well?

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o I have been doing the whole online dating thing for several months now and I need some advice with a fairly recent situation.

To give you some background I honestly haven't had very much success so far but I did have one semi attractive Indian woman message me. We exchanged a few messages before moving on to text messages. At this point I was ready to meet up in person for a date but she wanted to talk once or twice over the phone first. We exchanged an additional message where she revealed she had a slight disability (no use of right pinkie finger). She indicated it doesn't affect her life much at all but she wanted to be up front about it. I advised that it didn't bother me but that I wanted to be up front about something as well. Here is where it got interesting:

My message to her

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Text message from me to her: Before we get to talking on the phone I do want to be up front about a few things. One is I have no interested in having children and plan to have a vasectomy in late April. Two is that if we do head out on a date I want you to know that I believe in brutal equality. I believe in chivalry but on the first few dates I go dutch. I do this because I have been hurt by women in the past, being used just as a glorified ATM. These women weren't really interested in me but just wanted a free night on the town. I believe in chivalry but I believe it must be earned. I think it's important for both sides to show financial commitment in a relationship. I understand this might come off as a radical view and I hope none of these two things scare you off.


Both replies to me

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First reply: Hey. I'll unpack that piece by piece, it might take awhile. Second reply: So I digested everything you talked about. I must say I don't agree with some of your relationship views. I'm not a money grabber by any means. I've had the same job for five years and I not only support myself but also my parents. I understand that you have been taken advantage of by other women but you need to realize we aren't all like that. In many ways it seem like you are making me and other women pay for the mistakes of those women. The fact that you said I need to learn the priviledge of being spoiled by you kind makes me feel like I need to perform to your standards or else I won't get treated properly in a relationship. Just like you have standards I have standards. I'm a traditionalist that believes a guy should pay for the first few dates, going dutch is something I do with friends, not a boyfriend. You also come off as a little bit of a stickler for money. I work hard for my money and put it to use. I am not meaning to tear you down, just give you my dating perspective and what I am looking for. I do hope you find what you're looking for.


After that I replied back thanking her for her time and that I somewhat expected her response. I did reemphasize some of the my positions in case there was any confusion and that I don't expect any women to "perform" for me. I also told her that more and more men are adopting this view. I call it brutal equality but more and more men are expecting women to pull their own weight.

The woman replied back that she didn't agree that more men are adopting this view and that I am the only one that has brought this mentality up. She also said she would advise me not to mention this to women in the future, women who could be my future girlfriend and potentially future wife.

My question is this, are my dating views really that radical? Where did I go wrong? Does this woman's have (wanting equality in all aspects of life except dating where she wants tradition) a viewpoint that is somewhat hypocritical?


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