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You are too focused on yourself. Go find someone in worse shape than you and help them.

I know I’m not the OP but you guys have solid advice

It may feel like you’re losing all the time but the fact is you’ve been winning since you were born. When you take into account the probability of your ancestors or even just your parents meeting, dating, and ultimately procreating and then add in the chance that one swimmer fertilizes an egg that combine to make you the odds that you even exist are pretty much zero. So congrats you’ve been chosen to go on this ride against all odds. It’s not an easy one there’s a lot of ups and downs and some parts will make you laugh some make you cry and some make you feel like your guts are all twisted in knots but the fact remains that you are a miracle and you matter. Just like you have people you love and care about they most likely feel the same about you. You could be projecting your own negative thoughts about yourself on others as I’m sure someone does care. Don’t worry so much about finding someone to validate you. Instead you should focus on finding a way to be happy with yourself. Workout, get good at a hobby or cooking maybe learn an instrument. Just do something where you can set some goals for yourself that you can work towards achieving even if they’re easy. There’s nothing wrong with picking low hanging fruit to get some easy wins in your belt and begin boosting your confidence. Point is no one else can complete you only you can make yourself whole, but if you do find happiness within hopefully someone will come along that compliments you and you them. Good luck and Godspeed I hope you find a way to enjoy the rest of your ride. I’ll stop now sorry about the novel. TLDR.

This life is seconds between two dates. Make the most of it.

First and most importantly, you said that you are a Christian. Sometimes God allows us to hit rock bottom before we get down to where He is our only Hope. Call out to Him and He will help you. Many of us have been where you are. That is when you truly find your true Faith. Ask the Father for help, He will not deny you if you are sincere. Give it to Him.

quote:

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I have kept my faith, but don't even know if I'm loved or cared about. I pray all day every day and don't get anywhere. Lately I'm either crying myself to sleep or just numb. I'm starting to be angry to the ones I love and co workers and can't stop myself from doing so. I tried counseling and it didnt work. If I wasn't a Christian, I honestly dont think I would be here right now.

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Being a Christian isn't a magic get well card.

You have to put in work to reap the Lord's benefits.

I haven't read anything past your OP, so forgive me if this is redundant.

You seem to be right spiritually.

You need to get right mentally, physically and socially.

Those are the 4 pillars to success.

For one you are here that’s nothing but love you can say everything about the OT but it’s nothing but love. Whatever we need to do we will do you are in good hands. We will critique every bad decision you have made but we will take care of you.

OP

Some great advice and prayers for you.

I can relate; going through 2 years of the roughest workplace issue of my life ever... right now. Shook.

Myself and others are praying for you.

Remember James 1:2 - Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Despite the barrage of smack talk and low brow humor that floods the OT, it is heartening that countless people will reply to a thread like this with genuine encouragement as they have.

Your post set off a string of thoughts in my head which I'd like to share, but which are becoming too long & unwieldly of a reply to finish tonight. I'll try to finish tomorrow, and in the meantime pray you rest peacefully and find some reprieve from the acuteness of your suffering in the short term.

Life is difficult, and often unfair. I went through a bad stretch myself when my first wife had an affair and we ultimately got divorced. It was bad for a long time, but I spent time around people who were good for me, was involved in my local church, and eventually I was able to get over that feeling of pressure pushing me down.

Stay strong and pray. Seek good people to be around.