Coca Cola corporate headquarters won’t answer the phone

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To Fight White Supremacy, Coca-Cola Discontinues Vanilla Coke

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To fight white supremacy, Coca-Cola has discontinued its controversial product Vanilla Coke, saying it is "too white" and must be dismantled as part of the company's continued emphasis on eliminating whiteness from society.


All varieties of Vanilla Coke, from Cherry Vanilla and Orange Vanilla to Vanilla Vanilla, will be pulled from shelves as part of Coca-Cola's push to lessen whiteness.

"We now recognize that our Vanilla Coke product perpetuates whiteness in a racist, problematic society and harms our efforts to make people less white," said a Coca-Cola executive Friday. "Anything with even a hint of whiteness must be eliminated. We now realize that we were, in fact, part of the problem all along as we promoted the alt right-adjacent flavor of 'vanilla.'"

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Note: This is a satirical article.

Calling a soft drink corporation because of some corporate bullshite

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I'm a die hard Coca Cola freak drinking at least 4 a day

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Congrats on the diabetes

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Coca Cola freak drinking at least 4 a day.

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want a simple explanation about their new campaign

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This should be the least of your worries.

you drink at 4+ cokes a day?

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I’m a die hard Coca Cola freak drinking at least 4 a day.

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If I were you Id be more worried about diabetes than companies corporate policies

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I’m a die hard Coca Cola freak drinking at least 4 a day.
Just want a simple explanation about their new campaign but guess they don’t care to answer phones or they might just be getting bombarded.

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It really might be time to reevaluate your life. Forget the fact that you drink way too much of that garbage a day, you feel so strongly about your garbage consumption that you spend your day trying to get an explanation on a business strategy that has zero direct impact on your life. Either way you slice it, that's simply sad.

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Likely switching to Pepsi soon!

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Going to get the 'betus either way.

Just mix in some crown and it taste just like Vanilla Coke

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I’m a die hard Coca Cola freak drinking at least 4 a day

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That's disgusting.

Out of curiosity, if Coca-Cola were to rank its customers from 1 through N in terms of sales volume, just how high do you think you’d rank to warrant them giving a shite what you think?