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re: Christmas step parenting Q... am i wrong?
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:21 pm to The Torch
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:21 pm to The Torch
quote:
Why are you with a women who just got divorced with two kids 7 and 4, you are picking low hanging fruit.
I would never do it.
I wouldn't be able to get past the mentality of "she is just looking for a new dad for her kids".
0
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:21 pm to sparkinator
quote:
What signs did you see but ignore?
I have never dated a woman with kids so this whole thing is new to me.
I can't say this is the first fall out, but probably the first time we were genuinely on separate sides of the fence where we didn't find mutual ground to settle on...
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:23 pm to HoustonsTiger
quote:
She puts the phone in my face and tells me ‘look how happy they are!’ To which I reply ‘i would rather not watch videos of your ex husband on my Christmas morning, but great they are having a good time’.
quote:
This is her first Christmas without the kids (7, 4)
You're absolutely wrong.
You grin and bear it, motherfricker. Then make her smile and forget about the kids for a few hours. Booze, movie, food etc are good ways for a parent to get by during a holiday without their kids.
It gets easier on her I promise. But you gotta be a strong person and help her by putting up with shite like that.
ETA: and frick these faqs who tell you to run from a chick with kids. You should be avoiding chicks WITHOUT an ex and kids after 30.
This post was edited on 12/26/18 at 1:24 pm
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:23 pm to HoustonsTiger
Kudos to you for taking the jabs itt in stride and not getting super Darth aggressive.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:25 pm to mikelbr
Yes I regret not doing this.
I just didn't compute me not wanting to watch as not supporting her.
I knew it would be hard for her. Tried all I could to do right. Funny you say it, we went to the movies.
Just didn't recognize me not watching as 'a big deal'
I just didn't compute me not wanting to watch as not supporting her.
I knew it would be hard for her. Tried all I could to do right. Funny you say it, we went to the movies.
Just didn't recognize me not watching as 'a big deal'
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:25 pm to HoustonsTiger
quote:
can't say this is the first fall out, but probably the first time we were genuinely on separate sides of the fence where we didn't find mutual ground to settle on...
You realize it was Christmas right? I mean there’s like a handful of days a year where you as the dad/ stepdad don’t matter. Their birthday, maybe a graduation or whatever, Christmas, etc.
If it was a regular Saturday morning sure she may agree with you eventually. You need to just bite the bullet and realize how important that day is for parents and their kids. If you marry her you will like understand in a couple years.
I see where you are coming from, but as a parent and a man with a wife with kids I know where she is and you aren’t right here.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:25 pm to HoustonsTiger
quote:
Is it because I'm willing to date a woman with children?
Dating a woman with children doesn't make you the beta cuck that some of these dumbasses are calling you. It takes a strong, secure man to marry a woman with kids and take care of another dude's children. Most of us wouldn't choose to date or marry someone that already has children because there are a million out there who do not. You have, and that is commendable. Time to be a dad if you choose to continue the relationship.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:26 pm to Displaced
quote:
Kudos to you for taking the jabs
I've been around the OT longer than most even though I don't post often.
Gonna take a lot more than the usual Wednesday morning BS to get a rise out of me.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:26 pm to sparkinator
Advice from someone who has been married 22 years.
If my wife asks me to do something or look at something and it will only take a minute then I will happily do it or look at it rather than fight for half a morning.
The other day I watched a video of baby sheep in sweaters followed by a picture of a baby squirrel. Took 30 seconds then we both happily went on with our day.
If my wife asks me to do something or look at something and it will only take a minute then I will happily do it or look at it rather than fight for half a morning.
The other day I watched a video of baby sheep in sweaters followed by a picture of a baby squirrel. Took 30 seconds then we both happily went on with our day.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:27 pm to HoustonsTiger
quote:
Background - been dating a woman about 1.5 years who has 2 kids from her previous marriage. Started getting to know the kids a year ago and we get along great. Her ex by her account is a dead beat and always the bare minimum type, who she despises and usually doesn’t have much good to say about.
Get out.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:27 pm to HoustonsTiger
quote:
I have never dated a woman with kids so this whole thing is new to me
It was crazy to me at first. Until mid 20s I never wanted kids and hoped I’d grow old and be single. Just never had a woman I could relate to and my exes and I always broke up after a few months. Now I have 4 kids, 2 of them steps, and still married a woman I can’t relate to, but it’s all good.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:28 pm to baldona
quote:
but as a parent and a man with a wife with kids I know where she is and you aren’t right here.
Yeah I am beginning to see that as the cold guilt slowly creeps in.
I was so convinces that excusing myself was a rational thing to do. But then again, what is rational about Christmas anyway....
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:28 pm to HoustonsTiger
quote:
been dating a woman about 1.5 years who has 2 kids from her previous marriage.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:28 pm to bird35
quote:
If my wife asks me to do something or look at something and it will only take a minute then I will happily do it or look at it rather than fight for half a morning.
How long has she had your testicles in her purse?
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:29 pm to Tyga Woods
quote:
Dating a woman with children doesn't make you the beta cuck
I'm not sweating that. I'm more than comfortable with who I am and where I am in life. But thank you
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:29 pm to HoustonsTiger
You were wrong. Firstly, who gives a shite about watching her ex? Are you that insecure?
But, mostly, you missed the fact that the videos lifted a great deal of anxiety off of her and she was sharing her relief with you.
But, mostly, you missed the fact that the videos lifted a great deal of anxiety off of her and she was sharing her relief with you.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:31 pm to HoustonsTiger
Muh muh muh Christmas. Just suck it the frick up and say "awesome" or "I'm glad they're having fun" it's not like he sent her a dick pic captioned "thinking of you "
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:31 pm to HoustonsTiger
quote:
Yeah I am beginning to see that as the cold guilt slowly creeps in.
You are a dude who has a woman, there will be plenty more episodes of you feeling guilty
Our entire honeymoon was filled with regrets and guilt on my end. We’ve both become much better towards each other the longer we have been together.Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:34 pm to Jake88
quote:
Are you that insecure?
Actually quite the opposite.
Posted on 12/26/18 at 1:34 pm to Tyga Woods
quote:
Dating a woman with children doesn't make you the beta cuck that some of these dumbasses are calling you. It takes a strong, secure man to marry a woman with kids and take care of another dude's children.
Whatever let's you get through the day I guess. 
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