re: Borderline Personality Disorder

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It is absolutely mind blowing how they can act like everything is or should be back to normal after having a rage outburst or saying vile stuff to supposed loved ones.

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i have a question. has anyone ever recorded these outbursts and shown them when the person is more normal?

just curious how they react to objective evidence of the explosion

i am very lucky to have never met one of these ladies, at least in a romantic setting. the advantage of being me

a few years back i was dating an undiagnosed bpd aggie girl

it was in the fall, their team had a hot start, and i literally said, "theyll end up 8-4 like they always do"

(which is objective fact, they always finish 8-4)

this led to yelling, physical abuse, and then eventually leaving just sobbing in tears.

next morning she calls me, like nothing happened the day before, ill never forget it and she couldnt even bring herself to an apology...

id say about 70-80% of the girls i have dated are bpds though so ive had a lot of experience

not worth it.. move along now.... be done...

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i have a question. has anyone ever recorded these outbursts and shown them when the person is more normal?

just curious how they react to objective evidence of the explosion

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They put up the defensive mechanism like they start playing the victim game, how everybody else's actions cause them to act that way, or simply just say, "Sorry for not being perfect" or "it was bad day" in a somewhat sarcastic manner. They will start crying so you ease up on them. Very manipulative behavior like that. You will never be able to convince them they are truly at fault for anything.

yeah i had a feeling the response would be to continue to ignore reality and blame you for causing another variable in her sad, pathetic life

there is a great Jordan Peterson clip i want to make a thread about that i'm about to post

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And so, you know, you think: well, there’s nine billion, seven billion people in the world, we’re going to be peak at about nine billion by the way, and then it’ll decline rapidly, but seven billion people in the world and who are you? You’re just one little dust mote among that seven billion and so it really doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do, but that’s simply not the case. It’s the wrong model, because you’re at the center of a network. You’re a node in a network. Of course, that’s even more true now that we have social media. You’ll know a thousand people, at least, over the course of your life, and they’ll know a thousand people each, and that puts you one person away from a million, and two persons away from a billion!

And that’s how you’re connected and the things you do – they’re like dropping a stone in a pond – the ripples move outward and they affect things in ways that you can’t fully comprehend. And it means that the things that you do and that you don’t do are far more important than you think!

And so if you act that way, of course, the terror of realizing that is that it actually starts to matter what you do. And you might say: well, that’s better than living a meaningless existence; it’s better for it to matter. But, I mean, if you really ask yourself would you be so sure, if you had the choice: I can live with no responsibility whatsoever, the price I pay is that nothing matters; or: I can reverse it, and everything matters, but I have to take the responsibility that’s associated with that. It’s not so obvious to me that people would take the meaningful path.

Now, when you say: well, nihilists suffer dreadfully because there’s no meaning in their life and they still suffer; yeah, but the advantage is they have no responsibility. So that’s the payoff, and I actually think that’s the motivation. Saying: well, I can’t help being nihilistic, all my belief systems have collapsed; it’s like: yeah, maybe, maybe you’ve just allowed them to collapse because it’s a hell of a lot easier than acting them out. And the price you pay is some meaningless suffering, but you can always whine about that and people will feel sorry for you, and you have the option of taking the pathway of the martyr, so that’s a pretty good deal, all things considered. Especially when the alternative is to bear your burden properly and to live forthrightly in the world.

Well, what Solzhenitsyn figured out – and so many people in the 20th century, it’s not just him, even though he’s the best example – is that if you live a pathological life you pathologize your society. And if enough people do that, then it’s hell.

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BPD sounds like the bold-underlined part x1000

Yep. Their reality is so different and so unbelievable ..... and then like magic, in a day or two they are your best friend again.

My ex's mom is a borderline too.

Back in July, it was our little one's 8th birthday. My ex and my ex MIL came down to stay overnight with the kids. (Remember, they live in North La).

I had just bought a house. Anyways, they show up at my house to pick the kids up. My ex MIL wants to talk to me about a website she found that has cute decorative things for your house. She wanted me to go on this website and find $100 worth of stuff that I wanted and email her the list and then she'd put it on her credit card and have it paid off in like 6 or 8 months. LOL I am serious.

I told her, "if you've got an extra $100 to spend, spend it on the boys. They deserve it."

A few minutes later, Ex Mil wants to talk to me about keeping her dog for the next couple of days (while they visit with my boys) because they couldn't leave the dog in North La. All I had to do was keep it in its kennel for the next couple of days.

Umm, no. I don't want your stinky, barking arse dog at my house. But that's not what you say to these people.

I mean, crazy. And I knew from the beginning conversation about the website that there was going to be a "catch" to it.

I have learned over the years to keep all conversations brief and easy as possible.

The craziness is never going away. I just try and do my best NOT to respond to it.

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They put up the defensive mechanism like they start playing the victim game, how everybody else's actions cause them to act that way, or simply just say, "Sorry for not being perfect" or "it was bad day" in a somewhat sarcastic manner. They will start crying so you ease up on them. Very manipulative behavior like that. You will never be able to convince them they are truly at fault for anything.

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Yep. I have several meltdown videos of the daughter. Doesn't amount to much.

BPD is in that person's control. They CAN choose their behavior. It IS treatable with a combination of drugs and therapy. However, all of that is hard work and most, including my mother and daughter, are unwilling to do the work. In my mother's case, she won't even admit she has a problem. My daughter has at least come that far, but it's only for the sympathy. She won't do what it takes to get better.

I just want to say thanks to all of you for your insight. I've been dealing with my mother's antics for years and I thought it was bipolar, but I think you have now given it a name and proper diagnosis. Of course, I could never say anything to her about it---we already aren't on speaking terms due to some very nasty voicemails she left me a while back. It gets to a point where it's about self-preservation and respect. I refuse to allow anyone to talk to me or treat me that way. Thank you all so much. Makes me feel better about taking a serious step back. She treats her own kids like absolute shite, but puts on a good front for everyone else.

My soon to be ex wife should be evaluated for this

Stay clear or you wind up walking on egg shells

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I feel like this is 90% of women

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People tend to gravitate towards the same type of person. So if you date crazy, you'll probably keep on dating crazy.