Best roommate stories

Damn that was a cool story. Did they put you on a raft and float you out onto a lake one night too?

Had a roommate walk in on me spanking it under my sheets

Came home from work one day and the lid on roommates pet rattlesnakes cage was off... I froze.... 30 minutes pass and roommate walks in the apartment with a bag of fish fry.... Looks at me an falls out laughing... I follow him to the kitchen and the snake is diced up soaking in buttermilk.... I wanted to kick his arse!!!


ETA: it doesn't taste like chicken

We had about 14 our of guy friends over one night back in college (no not a gay orgy, just hanging out getting drunk) and one of the buddies was out smoking a cig on the 2nd floor balcony, and these 2 dudes drunk dudes on bikes come by and start talking shite to my buddy. Both big dudes. Well my buddy says he is going to come down there by himself and fight them. Well he walks inside and tells us and all 14 of us walk downstairs to the 2 guys. When they saw all 14 of us, they got on their bikes and hauled arse like ive never seen before. Never saw them again. Two of the 14 guys that were with me were 6'5ish 300ish pound lineman who played college football.

Alright jk, we had a gay orgy

My college roommates were my two best friends from high School.

one night we got home from a party we just went out on our deck to chill and drink a few more. I needed another beer and one of my roommates had been missing for a few minutes. I walk inside and my roommate in his drunken stupor has the fridge open, one of the bottom drawes open and is mid shite just right into the drawer.

It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen a drunk person do, then when he got done he came back outside and I asked him wtf he was doing and he just denied it. shite still in fridge, just said it wasn't him.

Another one regarding the same roommate, O brought a girl home from a party and we walk into the house. I go grab us some beers and I'm walking us into my room and I flip the light on, roommate is just bareass in my bed. His gf was at the house, I went into his room and was just like, "wtf go get his arse out of there".

She goes in there and he refuses to leave and insists it's actually his room.

Girl I brought home laughed her arse off but was the. Taken out of the mood and I drove her back to the dorm. I never forgave him for taking my freshman numbers down.

Freshman year at the good ole Burbank Commons me and my three roommates were playing basketball right before Mardi Gras break. One of my roommates twisted his ankle pretty bad and decided to head home a day early to get checked out by a doctor. After he left me and the two other roommates head to hobby lobby to buy a couple hundred balloons. We blew up enough balloons to fill his room about 3 feet from the ceiling. On top of that, we put all of his shite that would fit into a balloon into the balloons. Tooth brush, tv remote, phone charger, half eaten burrito, etc.

Come to find out, he broke one of the bones in his foot and came back to the apartment after Mardi Gras break on crutches and in a boot. It was still funny to watch him open the door to his room and see a room full of balloons.

Freshman year my dorm roommate would sneak chicks in after closing bars.

A few times I'd be sleeping and get hit in the head with a shoe, which he threw to wake me up. He'd start sport banging these chicks all crazy like he was trying to put on a show.

It used to puss me off, but I laugh about it now.

Your buddy ate his pet snake? What the frick?

quote:

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Your buddy ate his pet snake? What the frick?

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In his defense he never really was right in the head....

Walked into my apartment in college and my roommate was banging some skank from behind in the bathroom, door wide open, while she was leaning over the toilet puking.

Good times.