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re: Being able to say goodbye before someone you love dies (Updated, my mom has passed away)
Posted on 6/26/25 at 10:56 am to Will Cover
Posted on 6/26/25 at 10:56 am to Will Cover
Crazy, I got a call an hour ago that my sister-in-law passed. I needed this, thank you for sharing. This was the first post I saw when I opened my phone. God’s timing is perfect.
She’s been doing hospice at home for the past two weeks. My wife has been there to care for her the entire time and has handled it like a rock. I was able to FaceTime with them a couple days ago and say my goodbye.
As hard as it is to say goodbye to someone, not being able to say goodbye sucks really bad. I’d give a lot to be able to have one more conversation with my dad.
Cancer sucks.
She’s been doing hospice at home for the past two weeks. My wife has been there to care for her the entire time and has handled it like a rock. I was able to FaceTime with them a couple days ago and say my goodbye.
As hard as it is to say goodbye to someone, not being able to say goodbye sucks really bad. I’d give a lot to be able to have one more conversation with my dad.
Cancer sucks.
1
Posted on 6/26/25 at 11:01 am to Will Cover
Posted on 6/26/25 at 11:03 am to Will Cover
I’m sorry you’re going through that. I watched cancer turn my old man into a stick over his final few months, and it was tolerable because he was all there and we had a great time reconnecting. When we got the final notice, and that he had ~30 days, he fell off a cliff every week to a new low. The final week was when he went mentally. It was really hard after that.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 11:05 am to Will Cover
Excellent post and reminder. Thank you
Posted on 6/26/25 at 11:06 am to Dough
Love on your family, Dough. Show them all y'all are a knot.
This post was edited on 6/26/25 at 11:07 am
Posted on 6/26/25 at 11:15 am to Will Cover
quote:
Being able to say goodbye before someone you love dies
A friend of the family just died last week. I called him "Uncle Ron" but he wasn't my uncle...he was best friends with my uncle and aunt (she and their two girls were killed in '82 and they've remained close family friends since then). He was 76 and has battled prostate cancer for about 25 years now, and it finally took its toll. He live an awesome life, was an entrepreneur, and was into all sorts of shite.
But apparently he died in his home with his wife of 57 years and one of his daughters at his side, while wearing his favorite baseball shirt and listening to his own music that he's made over the years. And when I heard that I thought that just about sounded like one of the most awesome ways to leave this world. And I hope to have something similar happen when it's my turn to go.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 11:18 am to Will Cover
quote:
Unless there was physical, psychological, emotional, chemical, or sexual harm
quote:
chemical
What the hell have your parents been doing to you people?
This post was edited on 6/26/25 at 11:22 am
Posted on 6/26/25 at 12:17 pm to cbree88
quote:
Being able to say goodbye before someone you love dies
When the end was near for my son after his 15 month battle with cancer we had a lot of family and friends come by to say their goodbyes. Of all the battles and heart ache that comes from watching cancer kill my son, I will say that watching loved ones say good bye to him was gut wrenching and beautiful at the same time.
When he was moved from home hospice to the Butter Fly wing at BR General, it just immediate family. My son, while on so much dilaudid he was barely conscious seemed physically agitated. We kept asking him if there was anything that he needed or that we could help with. He could barely talk but we knew something was wrong. The one person that had not said good bye yet was his older brother. Not because there was anything bad between them, in fact they were best friends. When I was finally able to get my oldest son to go tell his brother good bye he asked us all to leave the room. I don't know what was said but when he was done we all went back into the room and my younger son passed peacefully about 5 minutes later. In my heart I believe he needed his big brother to tell him it was ok to stop fighting and let go.
There are times that I wish I knew what was said but I would never ask my oldest son.
I believe people who are at the end need reassurance that it's ok to go.
God bless anyone that has to go through this.
And as someone else in the thread already mentioned, frick CANCER!!
Posted on 6/26/25 at 12:38 pm to Will Cover
Been there my friend. My mom passed 5 years ago and had parkinsons with dementia. It's one of God's cruel little jokes and I don't wish anyone have to go through it. Cancer is bad but usually they have their mental capacity in check. Dementia turned my sweet, little southern Belle of a mom into a cursing, biting and mean woman. It was especially tough on my dad(stepdad) as he was her main caregiver. I am an only child with a family and helped out when I could. I saw what true love was through this ordeal.
Stay strong and try and remember the good times. Unfortunately those are hard to remember
Stay strong and try and remember the good times. Unfortunately those are hard to remember
Posted on 6/26/25 at 12:39 pm to MakersMark
quote:
I don't know what was said but when he was done we all went back into the room and my younger son passed peacefully about 5 minutes later. In my heart I believe he needed his big brother to tell him it was ok to stop fighting and let go.
I lived with my grandparents in my early years so we were very close. My grandmother was suffering from dementia and was withered down to almost nothing the last time I saw her. It was the day before Thanksgiving, 2022. I came in and told her something very similar. She passed right after I left.
Two years prior to that my grandad was on hospice, and had been for well over a year. I made the decision to go do something with my girlfriend (now wife) instead of staying around the house with him. He passed that Monday morning. I know there isn't much reason to, but I harbor an immense amount of guilt for not being there that weekend. There really is something to be said for having the opportunity to say goodbye.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 12:43 pm to Will Cover
What a beautiful post. My.prayers are with you.
At least you will be able to say goodbye to your mom. I never got to do that with my dad(Last Friday was 7 years since he passed) . That is a gift.
Dementia sucks.
At least you will be able to say goodbye to your mom. I never got to do that with my dad(Last Friday was 7 years since he passed) . That is a gift.
Dementia sucks.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 2:03 pm to Will Cover
Prayers are with you. If I only knew then what I know now
I was 18 when my dad passed. Summer between high school and college. He'd been sick with a strep infection in a cut in his knee, but never expected it to be fatal. I was a typical kid hanging out with friends and saying goodbye before we all went our separate ways for school. Dad has a massive heart attack Sunday morning...we get an ambulance and get him to the hospital but they can't save him
Just lost mom last summer (less than a month from 30 years of dad). She had been sick since the first of the year (pneumonia that went septic and caused AFib, Parkinson's and dementia that was getting worse). In a moment of lucidity during her last hospital stay she said she just wanted to be left alone to die. We moved her to a senior care facility maybe 10 minutes from us, with hospice care. Knew her time was short but thought we had a few weeks. I went to see her on Friday after work and she was doing ok. Had a nice but very surface conversion. Plan was to go to our lake house (which she loved) to talk to a new lawn guy on Saturday and bring the grandkids to see her Sunday. Got home Saturday night and get a call saying she had a massive stroke or seizure as they were getting her ready for bed and she was gone.
So many things I wish I could have said to both of them, but especially mom.
I was 18 when my dad passed. Summer between high school and college. He'd been sick with a strep infection in a cut in his knee, but never expected it to be fatal. I was a typical kid hanging out with friends and saying goodbye before we all went our separate ways for school. Dad has a massive heart attack Sunday morning...we get an ambulance and get him to the hospital but they can't save him
Just lost mom last summer (less than a month from 30 years of dad). She had been sick since the first of the year (pneumonia that went septic and caused AFib, Parkinson's and dementia that was getting worse). In a moment of lucidity during her last hospital stay she said she just wanted to be left alone to die. We moved her to a senior care facility maybe 10 minutes from us, with hospice care. Knew her time was short but thought we had a few weeks. I went to see her on Friday after work and she was doing ok. Had a nice but very surface conversion. Plan was to go to our lake house (which she loved) to talk to a new lawn guy on Saturday and bring the grandkids to see her Sunday. Got home Saturday night and get a call saying she had a massive stroke or seizure as they were getting her ready for bed and she was gone.
So many things I wish I could have said to both of them, but especially mom.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 2:22 pm to TigerDude80
My sympathy and prayers go out to both of you going through this now. My dad had dementia and thankfully didn't hang on very long. He did mostly know my mom, but for the last month hardly knew anything. 2 days before he passed my kids and grandbaby and I got to go visit and tell him goodbye. He didn't know a lot, but he did briefly rouse and I got to hold his hand and tell him I love him. I'm so glad we went and got that brief goodbye.
It was so hard for my mom, being the caretaker. Just know when they leave that their suffering has ended and they are in a better place. My mom said although she missed him, she'd been grieving his loss for years as he left her little by little. It's just so heartbreaking!
Prayers!!!
It was so hard for my mom, being the caretaker. Just know when they leave that their suffering has ended and they are in a better place. My mom said although she missed him, she'd been grieving his loss for years as he left her little by little. It's just so heartbreaking!
Prayers!!!
This post was edited on 6/26/25 at 2:58 pm
Posted on 6/26/25 at 2:23 pm to Will Cover
Agreed! Thanks for sharing.
Posted on 6/26/25 at 2:28 pm to Will Cover
My sister had been on dialysis for several years and was in very poor health. She decided to discontinue the dialysis, knowing she would only have a couple of weeks. She contacted everyone in the family and said she didn't want a funeral, but wanted everyone to come see her before she passed. About twenty of us from all over the country flew into South Carolina and visited her in hospice, sneaking in some of her favorite beverages. That was as moving a ceremony as any I have ever attended.
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