re: Being a bridesmaid or best man is more of a financial burden than an honor

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It gets expensive, but I also wouldn't ignore the time commitment of being in the bridal party either. Nowadays you have to go to an engagement party, a couples shower, a bachelor party, rehearsal dinner, wedding, and possibly much more depending on how needy the bride is. If you ever find yourself in the bridal party for 2-3+ weddings in the same time frame, it takes over your life

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Overlooked part. Lots to consider outside of the upfront cost. It’s the PTO to burn/money lost from not working. Only been in a few weddings. Cousins when I was younger, brothers as a student. Easier to negotiate at those ages. But still. Being a groomsman is a time suck. The photos alone take for fricking ever. Most I’ve been to have taken several days to get everything done. Not always on weekends either.

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Let me restate this, it’s very common for people in their mid 20s+ to own a black tux and it’s very inconvenient to rent tuxes. Most people don’t notice the difference and it’s a nice thing to for your wedding party. I’ve been in several weddings that have done the “wear your own”. It’s very nice especially when you have to travel for it.

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I don’t own a black one. I have shite tons of grey ones though. Both my brothers did the bring your own. It worked perfectly fine. The shades didn’t match but we went in descending order of light to darker and it actually turned out very well as it ended up mirroring the subtle descending shade in bridesmaids dresses. Takes more work to order everyone I guess, but...

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I've been in several weddings and the only one that I spent quite a bit on was my brothers. That's only because we had his bachelor party in Vegas. What's the most you've ever spent?

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Just pass on it.

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I’ve served in 20+ weddings

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frick that.

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Let me restate this, it’s very common for people in their mid 20s+ to own a black tux and it’s very inconvenient to rent tuxes. Most people don’t notice the difference and it’s a nice thing to for your wedding party.

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Maybe in the NE where people still hold black tie weddings, but in the south, no way. I'm one of the few in my group that had a tux in my late 20s, didn't actually have a decent tux that fit till my mid 30s! Its main purpose is actually Mardi Gras balls.

In fact one of the ways you can tell a bunch of northerners having a destination wedding in New Orleans is everyone attending (not part of the wedding party) wearing a tux.

People act like it’s against the rules to be a reasonable bride or groom anymore. It’s easy to not be a lavish, inconsiderate douchebag.