re: Annual Thanksgiving Play By Play Gamethread

I would take the kid aside and have a private conversation. Then tell him if he tells anyone, you will rip off his arm and beat him with the bloody end. Lol

Last year…wife went to in-laws for Thanksgiving because I had to work my last Thanksgiving before retirement. Always volunteered to take shifts of folks with kids/grandkids in town.

Lady from work and her husband invited me over to have Thanksgiving on Friday because she worked Thursday as well…said there’d be some of her neighbors there as well for a 2nd Thanksgiving. Sounded weird but I went with it against my better judgement.

Get to her house at 1400 sharp and…I’m the only person there except for co-worker and her husband. He is in a room playing online computer games or whatever the frick you call it. She is sauced and in kitchen cooking.

I have a whiskey (Old Fashioned) and wander into computer room where ol’ boy is at and he has on some frickin 3d eyewear and headphones playing some combat game yelling out commands to his online warriors. Ask him what the game is about and he looks perturbed when he has to pause, lower his cyborg goggles and look at me. Ask him if he ever served and he says without hesitation, “No dude, but this is serious, so….”

I remove my 20 + year military combat arms-self from the room and saunter into the kitchen. Co-worker is now dancing and singing to Celine Dion and asks me if I want another drink. I politely decline and ask where the head/latrine/aka bathroom is.

She directs me and tells me she has a K-Bar stashed under the cabinet…this is a freakin Marine Corps knife…wtf does she have knife stashed there for? Curious, go to the head, whiz and look for said knife.

It is frickin duct taped under the cabinet over the toilet! I take a pic and return to kitchen. She is now more sauced and asks, “Did you like it?” Being a genuine male I replied, “Pretty badazz”. She says, “I have other toys hidden in other places.”

At that point, I remember looking deep into my glass, seeing the orange rind and said to myself…self-you need to politely excuse yourself.

I said to my co-worker my colitis (non-existent) was acting up and I regrettably needed to get back home as I forgot my unknown medication. She was so drunk she just gave me a very uncomfortably long (and close) hug with her large mammary glands pressed into me and said she hoped I felt better.

I was very sad as she as she was an amazing cook and was looking forward to the pecan pie but decided my marriage was more important than pecan pie and…you get the point.

Never been back, retired and only discussed once prior to retirement. Moral of story…take Thanksgiving off with wife.

I seriously don’t know what that means buddy. If you mean 3some…no way. Her husband was enthralled with the video game. Her on the other hand…sadly, was a lady hurting and wanting attention.

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“I have other toys hidden in other places.”

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I'm pretty sure I've seen that movie.

My neighbors might have some good stories. They have their redneck in-laws in town smoking and drinking beer on front lawn on a Tuesday morning.

My Dad thinks I'm a polygamist

My wife's best friend is divorced. She has 2 daughters the same age as my 2 daughters. They are always at our house and vice versa as they live a block away.

My wife and her BF have been discussing buying land together and building houses together. My wife has mentioned this to my parents.

Now my wife's BF and her kids are joining my families' TG festivities. Her parents are both deceased and she doesn't have any siblings, so my wife invited her so she would have a place to go.

My Dad called and the conversation went like this:

Dad "Son, I just want you to be careful"
Me "...what?"
Dad "I've seen these types of situations on TV. You don't want 2 families"
Me "....what are you talking about?"
Dad "The lady that you are brining to TG. Isn't she the one that y'all want to build a compound with?"
Me "...a compound? What? No. Thats just my wife and her friend daydreaming"
Dad "Just be careful son"

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My wife and her BF

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Salmon

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Checks out

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My neighbors might have some good stories. They have their redneck in-laws in town smoking and drinking beer on front lawn on a Tuesday morning.

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Did the uncle show up with his tranny?

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Salmon

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You never went in for a taste? She must be very lonely since her divorce and she sees what a great husband and father you are. Try it out.