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Started By
Message
An old friend's husband committed suicide
Posted on 8/1/19 at 4:56 pm
Posted on 8/1/19 at 4:56 pm
A woman I went to college with (no pics), we were in student government together and a couple of other groups. She moved to another state for work, met a guy, got married, has a couple of kids. Husband is about 10 years older than her. I met him a couple of times, military vet, very much a guy's guy - loved to hunt, fish, had tons of guns and a huge truck, etc.
Hadn't seen her in a few years, occasionally kept in touch via social media, mainly via comments on pictures "Happy birthday", "cute kids", etc.
A few months ago, she posted thanking everyone for being there for her after her husband's untimely death. I did not know nor had any reason or expectation to know. Like everyone else, I gave my sympathies - both on FB and via a card I sent to her. Some of the initial comments led me to think it could have been suicide, but that's not something you ask.
Every few weeks she has posted an update. Yes, it was suicide. Yes, he had PTSD. Apparently they had recently separated, mainly due to his violent temper, drinking, and him not dealing with his PTSD issues. One night, they were both talking in their bedroom (he had moved out but had come back to visit / talk), an argument ensued, he stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots himself. In front of her, with the kids at home.
Hopefully, I will never, ever have to imagine what she is and will continue to go through.
I hope if any of you ever need help, that you are able to find it. To this day, she has never "blamed" him, and I don't think anyone can either, but it's still very tragic that it ended this way.
TL;DR: If you need mental help, please seek it.
Hadn't seen her in a few years, occasionally kept in touch via social media, mainly via comments on pictures "Happy birthday", "cute kids", etc.
A few months ago, she posted thanking everyone for being there for her after her husband's untimely death. I did not know nor had any reason or expectation to know. Like everyone else, I gave my sympathies - both on FB and via a card I sent to her. Some of the initial comments led me to think it could have been suicide, but that's not something you ask.
Every few weeks she has posted an update. Yes, it was suicide. Yes, he had PTSD. Apparently they had recently separated, mainly due to his violent temper, drinking, and him not dealing with his PTSD issues. One night, they were both talking in their bedroom (he had moved out but had come back to visit / talk), an argument ensued, he stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots himself. In front of her, with the kids at home.
Hopefully, I will never, ever have to imagine what she is and will continue to go through.
I hope if any of you ever need help, that you are able to find it. To this day, she has never "blamed" him, and I don't think anyone can either, but it's still very tragic that it ended this way.
TL;DR: If you need mental help, please seek it.
18
Posted on 8/1/19 at 4:59 pm to LSUFanHouston
quote:
One night, they were both talking in their bedroom (he had moved out but had come back to visit / talk), an argument ensued, he stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots himself. In front of her, with the kids at home.
That's awful.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 4:59 pm to LSUFanHouston
The suicide rates of veterans is staggering. Wish we took better care of vets in this country.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:00 pm to LSUFanHouston
Wait... He hot himself and left only to commit suicide at a later date?
Or he shot himself then?
In any case, PTSD can ruin a person. Until they are a shell.
Or he shot himself then?
In any case, PTSD can ruin a person. Until they are a shell.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:03 pm to X123F45
quote:
Wait... He hot himself and left only to commit suicide at a later date?
He shot himself and died as a result of that gunshot wound.
quote:
PTSD can ruin a person.
It truly does.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:03 pm to Hogwarts
quote:
The suicide rates of veterans is staggering. Wish we took better care of vets in this country.
The first thing is the military has to the career-ending stigma away from PTSD. It doesn't matter how good mental health care is if practically nobody will seek it out.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:04 pm to LSUFanHouston
Very sad
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:05 pm to LSUFanHouston
quote:
TL;DR: If you need mental help, please seek it.
Sadly it’s not nearly as affordable or accessible as it should be for everyone. Even more so for vets.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:05 pm to LSUFanHouston
I have personally known four friends who ended their lives. 3 men who were millionaires and “had it all”. My former girlfriend committed suicide six months ago. She was a very caring woman but a divorce , bankruptcy and numerous health issues sent her over the edge. She was just 47 years old.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:06 pm to Obtuse1
quote:
The first thing is the military has to the career-ending stigma away from PTSD.
As someone who works closely with the military, I can unequivocally say that at every turn they try to make it known that it is OK and not career threatening to seek mental help and have been doing so for several years.
Not everyone gets the message, and old opinions die hard, but the help is there whether you acknowledge it or not.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:06 pm to LSUFanHouston
quote:
he stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots himself. In front of her, with the kids at home.
I'm not a psychiatrist, but this sounds like someone with borderline personality disorder. I'm saying this with partial info of course, but this goes beyond simple PTSD. To kill yourself in that fashion is something a borderline would do.
This post was edited on 8/1/19 at 5:12 pm
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:06 pm to Obtuse1
I think more veteran suicides are due to the inability to adjust to civilian life than to true ptsd
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:17 pm to PrivatePublic
quote:
As someone who works closely with the military, I can unequivocally say that at every turn they try to make it known that it is OK and not career threatening to seek mental help and have been doing so for several years.
Is this truly the case up and down the chain? Or is this some O-9 says this in a memo, yet the rank and file don't take it to heart?
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:19 pm to ashy larry
quote:
I'm not a psychiatrist, but this sounds like someone with borderline personality disorder. I'm saying this with partial info of course, but this goes beyond simple PTSD. To kill yourself in that fashion is something a borderline would do.
My understanding is he never truly sought help... the PTSD was mainly self-diagnosed / others saw it.
Had he truly sought help, perhaps a different/additional diagnosis would have been found.
I'm not sure it matters.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:21 pm to Champs
While I’m very sympathetic to this. More mental health needs to be investigated for
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:22 pm to LSUFanHouston
Has she started dating yet? Asking for FlagLake....
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:22 pm to Hogwarts
Crazy how most Americans have forgotten Iraq and Afghanistan are still going on. Military life is hard enough. Include 3, 4 , 6 deployments makes good people change.
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:24 pm to GeauxtigersMs36
quote:
Crazy how most Americans have forgotten Iraq and Afghanistan are still going on
Just saw today a LA National Guard unit is being sent to Iraq for 9-12 months. WTF are we doing?
Posted on 8/1/19 at 5:26 pm to LSUFanHouston
quote:
A woman I went to college with (no pics),
Thats not how this works mofo
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