re: Adults Whose Parents "Make" Them Do Things

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You're 21 living for free. You have to put up with it

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I know, which is exaclty my point of why I can't wait to move out.

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Where you going work?

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high school history teacher and assistant baseball coach already have a job lined up

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A person asking another person for their company in a time of mourning is “emotionally fragile” in your family?

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Apparently she's not even mourning. This "friend" was a guy from their old neighborhood that my friend new of when he lived back home. He thinks she just wants to show him off to people there.

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Do any of you know people like this? I know several adults that are financially independent (I think) from their parents that just bow down to any requests their parents make.

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My wife does this with her mother. Her mother is irrantional. Hasn't held a job in 10 years. Has no bank account. Makes no money. Literally has no skills.

She will call my wife up though to order something from Amazon for her then hit us with the "I'll pay you back". I'm talking upwards of $100 sometimes.

We had a pretty bad blow out a few months ago and I hit her with the Michael Scott "Good luck paying me back on that $0 dollars a year salary plus benefits salary".

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Do any of you know people like this?

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Yes, my wife, in relation to her mother.

It's a tough situation.

My MIL is a nice person, and will do pretty much anything for us. Watch the kids whenever, she treats them amazingly well, etc. Anytime we need any help at all, she and my FIL are always there for us.

But, she very much still tries to control my wife in a number of ways. Often in terms of money.

For example, the last two years we have gone to Disney, with my inlaws. This year, we want to go somewhere else. We can't afford both places, and I really don't want to take off of work twice. In laws have already booked their trip, and pretty much every day are asking my wife when she is going to book ours. Wife keeps telling her we aren't going, MIL just laughs it off.

Now, wife is getting the "I don't know how many more years your dad and I will be able to travel" tear jerk. Then, they amped it up by saying, "Well, we will pay the difference between the other vacation and Disney for you".

Wife is mad, because doesn't want to upset her mother, but also doesn't want to go.

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one guy bailed at the last minute because his mom is "making" him attend a funeral for a friend of his parents that he doesn't even know

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Maybe he is saying this to get out of the trip, but if not what kinda prissy fricks do you hang out with?

My mom will call me up and be like "there is this thing on this day it would be nice if you came" and I never do because anytime there is a family gathering on her side, the only reason they want their kids to go is because it's like some competition amongst themselves as to how many of their kids go and how "involved" they are.

Me and my brother don't go to anything when my mom calls us and tells us it would be good if we would go. My sister, on the other hand, will do whatever my mom says.

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I love my family, but I'm not particularly close with them

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That just sounds so sad. Both of my parents are gone now, but, thankfully, I remained close to them their entire lives.

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Apparently she's not even mourning. This "friend" was a guy from their old neighborhood that my friend new of when he lived back home. He thinks she just wants to show him off to people there.

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If that’s the case, then that is different. Personally, I wouldn’t have gone if the only point was to make nice with people she knows (my mom and I aren’t incredibly close). On the other hand, I still don’t think that demonstrates that their is something wrong with their dynamic. They may just be that tight knit. His mom might do a lot for him so he might feel like this isn’t that big of a deal.

He should have paid for his share of the trip though, I’ll give you that.

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That just sounds so sad. Both of my parents are gone now, but, thankfully, I remained close to them their entire lives.

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Be grateful for what you had with them. Not everyone has that, and it’s not for a lack of trying.

My parents were supposed to fly out this summer for a wedding and to spend some time with me and mine. They cancelled, citing they can use the money to clean their couch instead.

I booked flights home and told them not to expect me to pop in. I’m flying in to fish for a few days and enjoy the warm weather. They are pissed. frick them and their couch