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re: Adults Whose Parents "Make" Them Do Things

Posted on 4/11/18 at 10:42 am to
Posted by facher08
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2011
6314 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 10:42 am to
quote:

Family is more important. If that extra percentage of your expenses effects the affordability of this trip for you, you don't need to be going anyway. If this were my friend I would completely understand why they couldn't come.



He has zero emotional connection to the deceased. It has nothing to do with affordability, it's just the principle of sticking to your commitments.

quote:

Yet, you are the only one bitching about it on the internet and maybe your friends are selfish too, I don't know.


Weak retort. They aren't happy either, but whatever.
Posted by kciDAtaE
Member since Apr 2017
17802 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 10:44 am to
He never wanted to go on the trip with you and used his mom friends funereal or whatever as an excuse...it’s you
Posted by CarRamrod
Spurbury, VT
Member since Dec 2006
58629 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 10:44 am to
quote:

quote:
That is ridiculous. I'm very close with my family and they'd never "make" me do anything. It's called respect.



That respect goes both ways, which is why OP's friend is doing something his mother asks of him.

Fisrt off Lnchbox thinks he knows everything. 2nd, respect goes both way, but the continual pressure of control most boomer parents push on their kids is not respect.
Posted by LSU fan 246
Member since Oct 2005
90567 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 10:45 am to
quote:


So what? He was on the hook for booking and paying for certain things and pulls this last minute


I guess you'll have to buy the drugs now
Posted by LNCHBOX
70448
Member since Jun 2009
89397 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 10:45 am to
quote:

Fisrt off Lnchbox thinks he knows everything
quote:

CarRamrod


Well call me kettle then.
quote:

2nd, respect goes both way, but the continual pressure of control most boomer parents push on their kids is not respect.


Says the guy that has no clue about this person's family dynamics.
Posted by facher08
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2011
6314 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 10:46 am to
quote:

Didn't sound like she was asking. At least I don't think that's what "make" means.


You're basing that off Op's description, which is likely leaving stuff out.


I'm not. Make is in quotes because she isn't forcefully making him do anything thing, but she expects him to abide by her wishes.
Posted by airfernando
Member since Oct 2015
15248 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 10:48 am to
quote:

when I graduate and I am counting the days until I don't have to put up with there crap
must bee a leaux bar their
Posted by CarRamrod
Spurbury, VT
Member since Dec 2006
58629 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 10:48 am to
quote:

Well call me kettle then.
i dont think i know everything.

quote:


Says the guy that has no clue about this person's family dynamics.
never said i did, My comment was a continuation of my previous post. There is a trend that boomer parents do this. If you dont believe it, you arent very observant.
Posted by GreatLakesTiger24
Member since May 2012
61593 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 10:49 am to
Nobody makes me do anything
Posted by LNCHBOX
70448
Member since Jun 2009
89397 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 10:50 am to
quote:

i dont think i know everything.


Sure. Neither do I then.

Posted by Brageous
Member since Jul 2008
107724 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 10:51 am to
Do you have kids? This is one reason.
Posted by facher08
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2011
6314 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 10:52 am to
quote:

Do you have kids? This is one reason.


None of us do.
Posted by Mingo Was His NameO
Brooklyn
Member since Mar 2016
37542 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 10:52 am to
quote:

He has zero emotional connection to the deceased


Just his family, but fricke'em your vacation is more important.

If it were me, I'd offer to pay part of the trip since I committed and had to back out, thats your okly gripe, but him backing out because someone died is not wrong.

quote:

Weak retort. They aren't happy either, but whatever.



So they're selfish too, got it.
Posted by TH03
Mogadishu
Member since Dec 2008
172004 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 10:54 am to
quote:

I'm 21 and still live at home. Will be moving out in May when I graduate and I am counting the days until I don't have to put up with there crap


You're 21 living for free. You have to put up with it.
Posted by TH03
Mogadishu
Member since Dec 2008
172004 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 10:55 am to
quote:

airfernando


Why did you bolden graduate?
Posted by Lsupimp
Ersatz Amerika-97.6% phony & fake
Member since Nov 2003
86491 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 11:05 am to
Going to a funeral of your parents friends or distant relatives is a wonderful display of respect and compassion for the bereaved- provided all involved aren’t assholes who can’t stand each other. It’s one of those “ little things” that can bring meaning to your life and the lives of others. If you don’t care about any of that, I get it. Some do, some don’t.
Posted by Pilot Tiger
North Carolina
Member since Nov 2005
74076 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 11:07 am to
quote:

There's nothing wrong with being close to your parents and still saying, "can't make the funeral, already have plans, sorry, send my regards."
or sending that in a quick text
Posted by facher08
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2011
6314 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 11:11 am to
quote:

If it were me, I'd offer to pay part of the trip since I committed and had to back out, thats your okly gripe


Yea, no shite.

quote:

but him backing out because someone died is not wrong.


Someone dieing is irrelevant. He did not know the person. Say his mom really wanted him to be home for a bbq she was throwing. Doesn't matter.

quote:

So they're selfish too, got it.


So mom's eishes always come first. Context and situation doesn't matter. Got it.
Posted by Mingo Was His NameO
Brooklyn
Member since Mar 2016
37542 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 11:12 am to
quote:

So mom's eishes always come first


Before friends regarding a vacation? Yes.
Posted by StupidBinder
Jawja
Member since Oct 2017
6392 posts
Posted on 4/11/18 at 11:16 am to
quote:

Someone dieing is irrelevant. He did not know the person. Say his mom really wanted him to be home for a bbq she was throwing. Doesn't matter.


But he does know his mom. The funeral isn’t about the deceased, it’s about those who are mourning. If his mom wants him to be there for emotional support or any reason and he decides to go, that is valid. Be pissed about it if you want but your buddy isn’t in the wrong here.
This post was edited on 4/11/18 at 11:18 am
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