re: A good buddy called me asking for money yesterday. Update 6/12

I had a similiar converstaion years ago with a friend.

Same sorta set up. At the time my daughter was driving a $1300 Buick Century and his a $30,000 Ford Mustang. I told him he needed to call someone else because his lifestyle and mine were not in agreement.

The friendship was lost FWIW.

Man if there is any time to cut back on the 90k millionaire lifestyle and not lose face, it's now...

Hope you're friend gets through these times, they aren't getting easier.

Only by the grace of God have I had some improvements lately and I'm on my knees in prayer weekly for them.

Dude is fricked. The toys can be sold, and the cash used to float the payments until cutbacks elsewhere let him get ahead. The car situation sucks. Have to finagle the current value of their vehicles into a paying for a cheaper vehicle and still be able to pay off negative equity with a lower while somehow have a net lower monthly obligation. Cut back on non-essentials.

Unfortunately, no one wants to do this until they hit rock bottom where everything gets worse.

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How are you not a ball of anxiety at that point?

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I have missed out on a lot of good opportunities b/c of trying to avoid that, for sure, but at some point there will have to be a reckoning for those people. I don't know how they don't see it. There is just a sense of entitlement for people (and no, Boomers, it's not a symptom of being a millennial b/c this happens every generation. The GenX version was Jules from St. Elmo's Fire).

It's coming for me. I don't live beyond my means at all. No debt other than house on 2.75% loan.

But guess what?

Groceries - more expensive
Preschool - more expensive
Property tax - more exensive
Insurance - more expensive
House repairs - more expensive
Car repairs - more expensive
Salary - barely up

I went from having tons of excess money to just barely scraping by month to month without occasionally dipping into savings.

Not crying, I still max out 401K, Roth, etc. But the days of having tons leftoever are gone for me for now.

I can't imagine for people that live beyond their means. The credit card debt must be insane.

Everything just costs so much more and most people salaries aren't close to keeping up.

It’s anonymous. No harm in posting about an issue that bothering him. No one gets hurt by his post.

That is a difficult decision to make, I've been there with a close relative. He makes a lot more than I do, but I've always been frugal and live under my means, his wife is all about "appearances" and has to have the latest and greatest, she is the spender and he can't control her.

He was in a spot last year, I did loan him the $10K, but had him sign a promissory note. I got every cent back.

My oldest sister used to borrow $40-50 every week seems like. I would give it to her and my wife would get pissed because she would post on Social Media about going to the casino. After awhile I had to give her money without my wife knowing. One day her car broke and she needed a grand. My wife wasn’t having it. I told her consider it an investment. When someone owes you that much they aren’t going to bother you again. It’s been two years and I haven’t given her a dime nor has she asked

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80-90k

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He drives a new f150. She drives a 2 year old Yukon XL. Big into their kids sports and spend a ton of money doing that half their weekends. Kids in private school. 2 or 3 vacations a year. Has 2 boats and a side by side. Eat out all the time.

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They are well living over their heads. Fully expect to never get your money back and you won't be disappointed. Friends and family are the last ones to get reimbursed. You will be at the bottom of the food chain.