re: 12 Year Old Girl with BPD

It’s also about borderline personality disorder rather than bipolar. BPD would benefit from a different acronym.

I’m sorry to her this . My wife acts the same way when she’s hangry . It’s tough to deal with . Prayers

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What makes you think this?

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Well, I guess it’s possible to be “bipolar,” but I’m not truly convinced that’s a legitimate thing because I don’t actually trust the modern psychological field who overmedicates and doesn’t actually try to find truth and root causes.

I gave the caveat that it may be the case that this is what he thinks it is, but it’s more likely that because children come second in our society to gaining material possessions, it’s more likely that she never received what she needed from her mother who chose to work instead of nurture and play with her children for the first several years of her life.

It used to be common sense that a mother should stay home with young children till 5 or 6, play with them and love them and teach them how to be a person in this world. Now, we’ve outsourced that, the most important job that anyone can do on this earth and only one person per child is actually and naturally capable of performing.

We have no idea what the actual consequences and far reaching implications are to sticking babies in child care, not receiving their parents attention and love all day long like they’re supposed to and not in some room with strangers and strange kids that is constantly rotating because quite frankly we don’t care to. We don’t want to look at ourselves and consider how truly badly we’re screwing over our kids because we’re too busy trying to buy more stuff because we’ve convinced ourselves that a bigger house, car and lots of toys is actually what kids need. It isn’t.

The few hours after a kid as well as their parents have exhausted all their emotional and physical energy after work and school is nowhere near sufficient to properly nurture kids.

The research is out there if you care to look, but society has no interest in women being mothers because it’s not profitable to somebody’s bottom line. But keep downvoting and acting like I’m not making sense, and kids will continue to be diagnosed with this and with that and medicated for this and for that, when maybe if we stopped to ask ourselves if sticking babies into daycare could be producing radical behavior, because giving your child to someone else to raise all day is quite a radical act.

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Now I’m no psychologist, but common sense tells me that babies might feel abandoned when their parents abandon them for 10 hrs a day. A baby needs to hear their mothers heartbeat many times a day to feel secure, it is a mechanism for calming them down and they know it by heart, and they know the difference between it and someone else’s. It’s what they’re heard for 9 months straight!

It’s no wonder kids have less emotional control now than before.

Kids manifest things differently to cope with abandonment and lack of physical and emotional necessities, so I don’t think it’s a stretch to think that BPD and bipolar may just be a different outside response to the same internal phenomena.

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There is not one cause that can be attributed to most mental illness. Some are susceptible genetically and when the right environmental triggers are introduced the illness manifests. Or in the case of my sibling the environmental cause was unknown or simply non existent and presumed genetic. She was born breech but other than that there was nothing unusual about her medical history. She had BPD and a host of other mental issues. She came from a loving family with a stay at home nurturing mother. She went through every treatment available including electro convulsive therapy and nothing "cured" her. Even some of her doctors had to stop working with her because she was too much for them to handle. At some point the right meds cocktail was found to keep her relatively stable about 50% of the time.

I’ve been deep diving BPD.It seems particularly tragic for the sufferers and those they are in a primary relationship with. Although it seems less malevolent in intention that Narcissistic Personality Disorder and more unconscious.

My friend who was idealized and discarded by the BPD man in a romantic relationship said the worst part was in his idealization he made her feel like Supewoman, like finally someone finally got her and then when the inevitable devaluation and discard came over something completely innocuous, she had to grapple with the fact that he never actually did understand or love her. It was like she was a prop for him to work his shite out on her.And she realized he had done this his whole life from marriage to marriage. She got no apologies, no personal responsibility, no nothing for all that time she spent tiptoeing along eggshells and managing his emotions to keep him steady.

CSB…

Good post. I feel for the OP. Went thru it with one of my daughters. I never understood the problem fully, and was dazed and confused during it. My kid is in her 30s now and has improved, but still has some issues. Drug abuse complicated everything as well.

I learned that it was not a will power thing. Expecting her to draw on will power to do the right thing did not work for us. I believe some of us have chemical reactions in our brains that alter our thinking in non-traditional ways. My daughter did not understand why she felt like she did at times. And her ability to feel remorse would often be altered. A child not feeling remorse is a nightmare for which I have no answer for to this day. She also had anger management issues. Restropective thinking years down the road has me thinking that her brain reacts in a non-traditional way to anxiety and conflict and allows her judgement to change under duress. I guess one thing that I don't regret is that I always loved her and repeatedly told her so, even when practicing tough love. I had my daughter locked up in juvi detention for a year. Her crimes warranted it, and would probably do it again, but this did not resolve her issues.
Best wishes to OP.

I think BPD means borderline personality disorder, not bi polar