re: Alright give me the funniest scene from a movie?

This scene from Burn after Reading is great.

LINK

the scene in miss march where he shits himself after seeing his former girlfriend in playboy.

quote:

---

"strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive authority derives from a mandate from the masses, not from farcical aquatic ceremony."

---

Now that's a truly funny line.

quote:

---

The whole movie is so damn good.

---

Agreed

The Arsenio Hall scene in Amazon Women on the Moon.

One I just saw that had me rolling was from It's Complicated. Not what I would call an all-time great, but a really good recent one:

When Baldwin lies down naked on the bed trying to seduce Streep and doesn't realize Steve Martin is on-line watching with the computer screen about 12 inches from Baldwin's junk.

Holy Grail is the best.

I also like the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. "Oh Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it you may blow thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy."

There are 5 or 6 scenes from that movie that are pure genius.

The fast food restaurant scene from Super Troopers:

Farva: Give me a double bacon cheeseburger.
Dimpus Burger Guy: [into mic] Double baco cheeseburger. It's for a cop.
Farva: What the hell's that all about? You gonna spit in it now?
Dimpus Burger Guy: No, I just told him that so he makes it good.
[into mic]
Dimpus Burger Guy: Don't spit in that cop's burger.
Farva: Yeah, thanks.
Second Dimpus Guy: Roger, holding the spit.
Farva: Gimme a pie... apple.
Dimpus Burger Guy: Want me to hold the spit? Hah, just kidding officer Farva.
[pause]
Dimpus Burger Guy: Want me to dimpa-size your meal for 25 cents?
Farva: Want me to punch-a-size your face, for free?
Dimpus Burger Guy: It's only 25 cents, and look how much more you get.
Thorny: Look, kid, he doesn't want it.
Farva: I can handle this, Thorn. I don't want it!
Dimpus Burger Guy: Uhh, right. Beverage?
Farva: Gimme a litre o' cola.
Dimpus Burger Guy: What?
Farva: [Annoyed] A litre o' cola.
Dimpus Burger Guy: [into mic] Litrecola? Do we sell litrecola?
Thorny: Will you just order a large, Farva?
Farva: I don't want a large farva. I want a goddamn litre o' cola!
Dimpus Burger Guy: [to Farva] I don't know what that is!
Farva: [slowly starts shouting] Litre is French for...
[grabs burger kid by shirt]
Farva: ... give me my frickin' cola before I break VOUS frickIN' LIPS!

Anchorman:
Ron Burgundy: I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you.
[Veronica turns and walks away]
Ron Burgundy: Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I... I wanna be on you.

and a seriously great movie-Family Guy Presents Stewie Griffin-The Untold Story:

Chris Griffin: Mom! Look at me!
[jumps in pool]
Chris Griffin: How was that?
Lois Griffin: Your third somersault was a little sloppy but what do I know, huh? It's been so long since i qualified for the Olympics.
Chris Griffin: You were in the Olympics?
Lois Griffin: No, I got pregnant with Meg and couldn't go. Now I'm Pro Choice.

[on the red carpet at the premiere of the movie]
Tricia Takanawa: And here comes David Bowie! David, what brings you all the way to...
[Bowie puts his finger against her lip]
David Bowie: [seductively] Shh! Just you shut your mouth...
Tricia Takanawa: [suddenly speaking excitedly with a thick Japanese accent] OH,MAKE LOVE TO ME, ZIGGY STARDUST!
[She drops to her knees and clamps onto his leg]
Tricia Takanawa: I take you home, I make you fish bowel soup! Fish bowel!
[cut back to the Channel 5 studio]
Tom Tucker: [businesslike] Thank you, Tricia, for setting your people back a thousand years...

Diane Simmons: ...And that's it for sports. Now, let's go to Ollie Williams with the Adopt-a-Pet of the week.
Ollie Williams: [holding a small puppy] Who wants this dog?
Diane Simmons: [cut back] Thanks, Ollie. And now, let's go to Peter Griffin with "Ya Know What Really Grinds My - "
[Tom Tucker appears]
Diane Simmons: Tom, what are you doing? You don't work here anymore.
Tom Tucker: Well Diane, I have an exclusive story. And I... can't figure out how to check my e-mail from home.
Ollie Williams: [off-screen] Did you check your TCP/IP settings?
Tom Tucker: Yes I did, Ollie.
Ollie Williams: [off-screen] Enable cookies?
Tom Tucker: Yes, Ollie.
Ollie Williams: [off-screen] You want this dog?
Tom Tucker: No thank you, Ollie.

Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Brother Maynard: Amen.
All: Amen.
King Arthur: Right. One... two... five.
Galahad: Three, sir.
King Arthur: Three.



Sir Robin Song gets me every time
Minstrel: [singing] Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis...
Sir Robin: That's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads... looks like there's dirty work afoot.

and of course the king of the swamp castle, prince herberts father.

King of Swamp Castle: When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Lad, the strongest castle in all of England.

The eagle scene in Almost Heroes (RIP Chris Farley)

quote:

---

the scene in the principal's office from Porky's almost reduces me to tears everytime

---

Beat me to it. "Have you seen this prick"
There are many scenes in the original Porky's that are almost as funny though.

Multiple scenes from "There's something about Mary."

The Klump family eating supper at the table scene from Eddie Murphy's Nutty Professor...