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re: How to Get Rich - netflix
Posted on 4/28/23 at 9:34 am to slackster
Posted on 4/28/23 at 9:34 am to slackster
quote:
Lastly, from the financial planning side, I can tell you that I’ve never seen a couple with separate accounts that has saved appropriately for each of their individual spending needs. Obviously that’s only anecdotal, but it’s something.
I’d like to understand what you’re saying here. Give a plain English example.
Posted on 4/28/23 at 10:36 pm to CarRamrod
If you're financial goals are aligned, and you are committed to spouse, joint is the only answer. The law sees all money as belonging to both parties for good measure. In the practical sense, both parties should see the joint finances as a tool for achieving mutual goals. The only reason for separate accounts is selfishness. Downvote away.
Posted on 4/29/23 at 7:21 am to CarRamrod
quote:
its hilarious how both you and Upperdecker are so pretentious with your views and everyone is wrong except your way. Its really odd how you think there is only one way to do any of this.
Bruh
Posted on 4/29/23 at 7:27 am to ShootingsBricks4Life
quote:
Serious question. I am trying to understand how having separate accounts or joint accounts promote good financial habits. Is this about most couples failing to communicate? I honestly have never put much thought into it but this thread has shown pros and cons to both situations. It's almost like it depends on the people involved.
You say serious question but then you interject your own answer as if it’s rhetorical.
Separate accounts is either to:
1) not share previous financials before marriage
2) hide spending from partner/not give partner control of spending
3) not share current financials equally through the household (partner who makes more keeps more)
No one in this thread has said anything significantly different from the above. And none of that sounds like a good way to run a marriage. But don’t mind me
Posted on 4/29/23 at 8:26 am to BabyTac
I'm shocked at the number of responses in this thread about not understanding why people have separate checking accounts, and the interpretation is that the partners aren't in a real marriage or are trying to hide something. I've told my story before, but I'll repeat it.
I'm a saver/investor. My wife is a spendthrift. When we first got married we got a joint checking account. We were starting our lives out of college with new jobs and just setting up things financially, so this made perfect sense.
Fast forward a few years into the marriage and I see a credit card bill on the kitchen counter for several thousands of dollars. This was decades ago, so multiply that by the cost of living. I lost my shite. Philosophically, I do not carry short-term debt. It just is not going to happen. It's for suckers, and it makes life harder, especially if you're a dumbass who is ever-expanding how much you owe taking up your free cash flow. Think about the Federal government's spending habits -- it's just stupid and irresponsible.
I had a very direct conversation with my spouse about paying off this credit card, the difficulties and evils it represents, etc. We paid it off, and she stopped using it as an endless bucket of money, but then her eyes turned to what was in our joint checking account.
In her mind, if there's money in the bank, she needs to spend it down to zero. We are both professionals making good money. At one point, I lost my shite when I couldn't spend $50 because she had spent our account down to nothing.
At that point, I went to my bank and got a separate checking account. I told her how much money I would continue contributing to the joint checking account and the basis for that. If she wanted to live in a way to keep us from growing wealth or saving any money, then I would do what I needed to do to stop that for both of us.
She didn't like it. She was pissed. She got "overdraft protection" for the joint account (and continued to pay interest for decades by carrying an overdraft balance). As long as the major bills got paid, I just bit my lip and let her do her financially-irresponsible things with the standing offer that if she ever wanted to get her financial house in order to let me know.
Fast-forward 30 years and she's finally started to figure some things out. She finally understands what I was doing and why. Even though I would explain to her the value of compounding interest, saving for retirement in her 401k, etc. she did these things lightly. She is thankful that I did what I did because we now have millions saved for retirement -- no thanks to her. It's our money because we are in a marriage. We're starting to go on very nice vacations -- because we can, and I pay for them.
Sometimes people are just who they are, and you must accept that. However, you don't have to live with their decisions if you can take action to protect both yourself and them.
I'm a saver/investor. My wife is a spendthrift. When we first got married we got a joint checking account. We were starting our lives out of college with new jobs and just setting up things financially, so this made perfect sense.
Fast forward a few years into the marriage and I see a credit card bill on the kitchen counter for several thousands of dollars. This was decades ago, so multiply that by the cost of living. I lost my shite. Philosophically, I do not carry short-term debt. It just is not going to happen. It's for suckers, and it makes life harder, especially if you're a dumbass who is ever-expanding how much you owe taking up your free cash flow. Think about the Federal government's spending habits -- it's just stupid and irresponsible.
I had a very direct conversation with my spouse about paying off this credit card, the difficulties and evils it represents, etc. We paid it off, and she stopped using it as an endless bucket of money, but then her eyes turned to what was in our joint checking account.
In her mind, if there's money in the bank, she needs to spend it down to zero. We are both professionals making good money. At one point, I lost my shite when I couldn't spend $50 because she had spent our account down to nothing.
At that point, I went to my bank and got a separate checking account. I told her how much money I would continue contributing to the joint checking account and the basis for that. If she wanted to live in a way to keep us from growing wealth or saving any money, then I would do what I needed to do to stop that for both of us.
She didn't like it. She was pissed. She got "overdraft protection" for the joint account (and continued to pay interest for decades by carrying an overdraft balance). As long as the major bills got paid, I just bit my lip and let her do her financially-irresponsible things with the standing offer that if she ever wanted to get her financial house in order to let me know.
Fast-forward 30 years and she's finally started to figure some things out. She finally understands what I was doing and why. Even though I would explain to her the value of compounding interest, saving for retirement in her 401k, etc. she did these things lightly. She is thankful that I did what I did because we now have millions saved for retirement -- no thanks to her. It's our money because we are in a marriage. We're starting to go on very nice vacations -- because we can, and I pay for them.
Sometimes people are just who they are, and you must accept that. However, you don't have to live with their decisions if you can take action to protect both yourself and them.
Posted on 4/29/23 at 9:05 am to CarRamrod
quote:
doesnt matter she did.... what do you do.
It does. A child doesn’t consider reason here
Posted on 4/29/23 at 11:40 am to dragginass
quote:
If you're financial goals are aligned, and you are committed to spouse, joint is the only answer. The law sees all money as belonging to both parties for good measure. In the practical sense, both parties should see the joint finances as a tool for achieving mutual goals. The only reason for separate accounts is selfishness
So you must have joint Facebook accounts as well… right?
Posted on 4/29/23 at 12:38 pm to Elusiveporpi
quote:
So you must have joint Facebook accounts as well… right?
What does social media have to do with managing money?
Posted on 4/29/23 at 1:49 pm to dragginass
I think the poster is trying to make a case for “sharing everything”…
People that have joint FB accounts are strange.
People that have joint FB accounts are strange.
Posted on 4/29/23 at 3:26 pm to Mark Makers
quote:
My wife and I have always had separate bank accounts, been married 9 years. You know the #1 problem married couples fight over? Money. You know a problem we have never fought over after being married for 9 years? Money. If it aint broke, don't fix it I say. Neither of us do it because we have spending problems or because we want to control the budget. To each their own!
24 years. Separate accounts, both of which we brought to the marriage. My name's on hers, hers on mine. We just agreed on certain bills (her, utilities, me insurance, etc). Virtually all savings comes out of my income.
It just works out. She has her budget, I have mine. Nothing's hidden, she knows where all the money is.
Posted on 4/29/23 at 3:31 pm to lynxcat
quote:
I think the poster is trying to make a case for “sharing everything”…
Right. The antithesis to that being that spouses with separate checking accounts probably live separately too, ha.
Posted on 4/29/23 at 4:01 pm to RoyalWe
quote:
I'm shocked at the number of responses in this thread about not understanding why people have separate checking accounts, and the interpretation is that the partners aren't in a real marriage or are trying to hide something. I've told my story before, but I'll repeat it.
I'm a saver/investor. My wife is a spendthrift. When we first got married we got a joint checking account. We were starting our lives out of college with new jobs and just setting up things financially, so this made perfect sense.
Fast forward a few years into the marriage and I see a credit card bill on the kitchen counter for several thousands of dollars. This was decades ago, so multiply that by the cost of living. I lost my shite. Philosophically, I do not carry short-term debt. It just is not going to happen. It's for suckers, and it makes life harder, especially if you're a dumbass who is ever-expanding how much you owe taking up your free cash flow. Think about the Federal government's spending habits -- it's just stupid and irresponsible.
I had a very direct conversation with my spouse about paying off this credit card, the difficulties and evils it represents, etc. We paid it off, and she stopped using it as an endless bucket of money, but then her eyes turned to what was in our joint checking account.
In her mind, if there's money in the bank, she needs to spend it down to zero. We are both professionals making good money. At one point, I lost my shite when I couldn't spend $50 because she had spent our account down to nothing.
At that point, I went to my bank and got a separate checking account. I told her how much money I would continue contributing to the joint checking account and the basis for that. If she wanted to live in a way to keep us from growing wealth or saving any money, then I would do what I needed to do to stop that for both of us.
She didn't like it. She was pissed. She got "overdraft protection" for the joint account (and continued to pay interest for decades by carrying an overdraft balance). As long as the major bills got paid, I just bit my lip and let her do her financially-irresponsible things with the standing offer that if she ever wanted to get her financial house in order to let me know.
Fast-forward 30 years and she's finally started to figure some things out. She finally understands what I was doing and why. Even though I would explain to her the value of compounding interest, saving for retirement in her 401k, etc. she did these things lightly. She is thankful that I did what I did because we now have millions saved for retirement -- no thanks to her. It's our money because we are in a marriage. We're starting to go on very nice vacations -- because we can, and I pay for them.
Sometimes people are just who they are, and you must accept that.
quote:
However, you don't have to live with their decisions if you can take action to protect both yourself and them.
All of the above would be an absolute deal breaker for me. You really should be on the same page as your spouse on money (and religion, and kids) before you get married.
Posted on 4/29/23 at 4:08 pm to Ostrich
quote:
the above would be an absolute deal breaker for me. You really should be on the same page as your spouse on money (and religion, and kids) before you get married
A lot of people get straight up lied to before they are married and then it's kinda too late.
My brother's wife had around six figures of credit card debt he didn't know about until around six months into the marriage when she was pregnant
Posted on 4/29/23 at 4:24 pm to molsusports
quote:Wow. Is he still married to her? That's rough.
My brother's wife had around six figures of credit card debt he didn't know about until around six months into the marriage when she was pregnant
Posted on 4/29/23 at 5:15 pm to FnTigers
You're fricked at that point. Yes.
Posted on 4/29/23 at 6:00 pm to molsusports
quote:Prayers to that baw. Hope the marriage is good otherwise. I doubt it though.
You're fricked at that point. Yes.

Posted on 4/29/23 at 9:33 pm to BabyTac
we have multiple accounts. but theyre all in chase, so i see them all. they have different purposes.
the real only separate thing my wife has is her own credit card, which is in chase. this is so we can track her individual shopping.
also, shes a doctor and makes good money (couple years more than me). so i'm not in much of a position to tell her not to buy some luxuries when she works her arse for it.
otherwise separate checkings without clarity seems like it would be doom for a relationship.
the real only separate thing my wife has is her own credit card, which is in chase. this is so we can track her individual shopping.
also, shes a doctor and makes good money (couple years more than me). so i'm not in much of a position to tell her not to buy some luxuries when she works her arse for it.
otherwise separate checkings without clarity seems like it would be doom for a relationship.
Posted on 4/29/23 at 10:01 pm to BabyTac
Funny this thread started about asking ol baw to sell all his DFKG. Got one related response, but all other responses centered around joint accounts. Lol.
Posted on 4/30/23 at 6:44 am to BabyTac
I would say generally the OT is pretty united on most topics but the joint account versus non joint account with spouse is not one one of them. 

This post was edited on 4/30/23 at 6:45 am
Posted on 4/30/23 at 9:30 am to BabyTac
This thread was fun. Bunch of my way or the highway folks from one side of the aisle
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