How often do you trim nose hairs?

Sounds like you have nasal bush envy.

Nasty people. I trim ears and nose once a week

Approximately once a week. Thankfully, I don't have the bushy variety.

I save them to rip out in case I need to cry at a moment's notice.

You want a real eye watering experience? Wax your nose hairs.

How? Take a piece of muslin (ask your wife), dip it into some hot wax, shove it in your nose and wiggle around to catch as many hairs as you can. Let it harden (2-4 minutes), then… rip it out. You’ll be amazed at the amount of hair that comes out. When you finish crying, do the other nostril.

Very often. I hate having nose hair.

Pluck on the reg with fierce vigor and stray ear hairs get the same rude treatment.

Don’t want to look like a vagrant.

Shave them ? Why shave them when you can part them like an 80’s haircut ? Mine are luxurious. You can tell I’m fabulously wealthy and have excellent taste by how they accent my boyishly handsome face. Don’t hate.

I have only a few thin nose hairs. I routinely pull them. Ouch, but it works for me.

Rip them out with tweasers