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Awesome: Netflix Will Now Just Pump Septic Waste Straight Into Your Living Room
Posted on 9/9/20 at 1:08 pm
Posted on 9/9/20 at 1:08 pm
quote:
LOS GATOS, CA—Streaming giant Netflix has announced a new and innovative service that will literally just pump thousands of gallons of septic waste right into your living room. For the low price of $8.99 per month, you can watch as a sewage truck backs up to your house and pipes 2,000 gallons of brown sludge through the wall until you are neck-deep in toxic waste.
"The industry is evolving, and we're evolving with it," said Reed Hastings, co-CEO and chairman of Netflix. "We started to realize we were paying people millions of dollars to produce expensive septic waste for the family to enjoy and consume unquestionably. As it turns out, you can get the putrid sludge straight from an underground tank for free! Who would've guessed! This will cut billions of dollars from our bottom line and enable us to deliver more sewage to your home than ever before!"
The CEO also said not to read too much into the new service: "It's not a metaphor or anything. It's just raw, pure, untreated sewage."
Enthusiastic Netflix customers have jumped on this new service and are gleefully rolling in their slime-coated living rooms. "I don't like all the waste," said one excited parent. "But sometimes, it doesn't smell all that bad. Definitely worth the $8.99 per month!"
Starting next year, Netflix will also offer a more premium service that allows you to have your septic waste delivered by a real-life drag queen.
Babylon Bee: Fake News You Can Believe
Posted on 9/9/20 at 1:11 pm to Frank Black
You know... I kinda feel sorry for the Bee writers.
I bet it’s hard work writing stuff that is more satirical than the MSM.
I bet it’s hard work writing stuff that is more satirical than the MSM.
Posted on 9/9/20 at 1:11 pm to Frank Black
Meh. They’re better than this. Not that they’re wrong though.
Posted on 9/9/20 at 1:11 pm to Frank Black
quote:
Starting next year, Netflix will also offer a more premium service that allows you to have your septic waste delivered by a real-life drag queen.
Posted on 9/9/20 at 1:13 pm to CleverUserName
quote:A friend of mine who lives in California said he can't read the Bee articles any more. Said they're too close to home; too much like his real life.
You know... I kinda feel sorry for the Bee writers.
I bet it’s hard work writing stuff that is more satirical than the MSM.
Posted on 9/9/20 at 1:13 pm to CleverUserName
It’s hard walking the line between “unbelievable” and “this is from CNN.”
Posted on 9/9/20 at 1:31 pm to teke184
Jokes on them, I got rid of Netflix because of their crappy entertainment.
Posted on 9/9/20 at 1:31 pm to Frank Black
LMAO so funny! The right can totally meme
Posted on 9/9/20 at 1:49 pm to FreddieMac
quote:
Jokes on them, I got rid of Netflix because of their crappy entertainment.
ISWYDT
Posted on 9/9/20 at 1:50 pm to All you need is love
It wasn’t a meme, progtard.
Posted on 9/9/20 at 1:56 pm to All you need is love
quote:
LMAO so funny! The right can totally meme
Hi I'm new here; could you please explain to me what a "meme" is?
Posted on 9/9/20 at 1:58 pm to Frank Black
Idk how any sane person can watch Netflix. Most shows and movies that Netflix funds, are just bullshite sjw garbage.
Posted on 9/9/20 at 2:11 pm to All you need is love
quote:
All you need is love
Weird handle for an Antifa/BLM activist, amirite?
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