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Divorced Dads of the OT Question For You

Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:34 am
Posted by Mid Iowa Tiger
Undisclosed Secure Location
Member since Feb 2008
23664 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:34 am
I know divorce is terrible for all you about to jump in here with that. I know and don't like it and didn't want it.

Now that said. Divorced dads how do you all see what child support covers? Historically I have always paid child support and then also bought clothes and shoes for the kids while they were with me. Most of the clothe I bought go back and forth to the ex's (you don't want pics she hasn't aged well) house and mine. Lately with Covid and the slow down I have had to tighten up a bit and the ex reached out asking to split the cost of shoes and clothes for this school year with me and the kids wear them both places. Like I said historically I have bought the kids these things for "my house" and let them take the clothes (which are typically nicer than mom buys) to "her" house.

My question is, isn't the intent of child support to cover food, shelter, and clothing? My ex is acting like if I don't split the costs on the shoes she is going to send them to me barefoot. It is kind of pissing me off more than an afford it thing. What does the wisdom of the OT say?
Posted by ksayetiger
Centenary Gents
Member since Jul 2007
70156 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:35 am to
she is buying her lover nice gifts with your money
Posted by The Mick
Member since Oct 2010
44861 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:36 am to
Tell her send you her portion and you'll buy their shoes and uniforms.
Posted by DavidTheGnome
Monroe
Member since Apr 2015
31248 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:37 am to
She can spend it however she likes baw and there’s not a damned thing you can do about it. She doesn’t have to give you an itemization on where the money went.
Posted by djangochained
Gardere
Member since Jul 2013
19118 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:38 am to
ughh this is depressing as hell
Posted by Tyga Woods
South Central Jupiter Island, FL
Member since Sep 2016
41322 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:38 am to
quote:

isn't the intent of child support to cover food, shelter, and clothing?


How much money are we talking? A few hundo doesn’t cover very much.
Posted by Hou_Lawyer
Houston, TX
Member since Jun 2019
2164 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:39 am to
(no message)
This post was edited on 10/26/20 at 12:19 pm
Posted by Sasquatch Smash
Member since Nov 2007
25845 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:40 am to
Posted by FlyinTiger93
Member since May 2010
3724 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:40 am to
Did she buy bolt ons with the money?
Posted by Johnny3tears
Somewhere in La
Member since Jan 2012
2822 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:40 am to
She sounds like a great person/mom if she is willing to send yalls kid barefoot over a couple of dollars. I’m paying $600 a month for two boys and we split everything else down the middle.
Posted by eScott
Member since Oct 2008
11376 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:42 am to
quote:

She can spend it however she likes baw and there’s not a damned thing you can do about it. She doesn’t have to give you an itemization on where the money went.



This. Also when you buy your kids clothes and shoes don't be petty about. I can't imagine telling my kids to leave their shoes I bought them with me while they're at their mothers. Good lord man.
Posted by bishop
Maiden, North Carolina
Member since Jun 2004
2446 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:43 am to
It is a no win situation for you. If you don't help, she will probably rip you in front of your kids as a person who doesn't care about his kids. If you do help, you are sucked into splitting these expenses all the time.

Child support monies are supposed to be for shelter, clothes, food, and basic needs but as stated earlier, you cannot ask for a detailed list of things she bought for the kids with that money.

At the end of the day, its about the kids and not about her. Although she may be "benefitting" from you, you have to look at your children as the ones who are benefitting from a father that is doing all he can to take care of them.

my 2 cents. Been there.
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
53027 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:44 am to
Isn't 50/50 custody much more common now? I have a few divorced friends and that's their situation.
Posted by Yewkindewit
Near Birmingham, Alabama
Member since Apr 2012
21579 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:44 am to
Sure, buy the stuff you usually buy and don’t worry about it.
Posted by SlowFlowPro
With populists, expect populism
Member since Jan 2004
465158 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:45 am to
quote:

isn't the intent of child support to cover food, shelter, and clothing?

yes

quote:

It is kind of pissing me off more than an afford it thing. What does the wisdom of the OT say?

i would say this fight has a value of 0.53 Boozies
Posted by SlowFlowPro
With populists, expect populism
Member since Jan 2004
465158 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:46 am to
quote:

Isn't 50/50 custody much more common now? I have a few divorced friends and that's their situation.

in LA that designation doesn't mean much. more of a visitation thing. support is typically awarded to the non-domiciliary parent

now they can agree to a different arrangement
Posted by DavidTheGnome
Monroe
Member since Apr 2015
31248 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:46 am to
quote:

This. Also when you buy your kids clothes and shoes don't be petty about. I can't imagine telling my kids to leave their shoes I bought them with me while they're at their mothers. Good lord man.



Yep that is taking out the frustration at the mom on the kids.
Posted by djangochained
Gardere
Member since Jul 2013
19118 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:48 am to
How can 600$ a month cover anything for 2 boys

That’s like 2 toys and a marucci bat
This post was edited on 7/29/20 at 9:48 am
Posted by greygoose
Member since Aug 2013
14082 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:50 am to
quote:

She sounds like a great person/mom if she is willing to send yalls kid barefoot over a couple of dollars. I’m paying $600 a month for two boys and we split everything else down the middle.



If my ex tried that shite, her arse would be in front of the judge, explaining her thought process.

My Ex tried some petty shite shortly after our divorce. If you don't let her know that this shite won't be tolerated, it will continue until the kid turns 18.
Posted by jbgleason
Bailed out of BTR to God's Country
Member since Mar 2012
19801 posts
Posted on 7/29/20 at 9:53 am to
My buddies trashy as hell Ex drops his two boys off for their annual two weeks of summer with dad every year in old shoes, ratty shorts and a t-shirt. Doesn't even pack them a bag.

That bitch knows that first thing he will do is take them to the store. Then he lets them take the clothes home to her because the boys love what he lets them pick out.

And he is paying an outrageous amount of child support on a civil servants salary.

frick her.
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