re: OT Dads, ever get that moment of realization where you start to understand your Old Man?

All of that

Nope. My father was a POS douche who never gave me anything he wasn't forced to.

My grandfather was the hardest working and kindest man I've ever encountered. I chose to emulate him rather than the drunkard.

This applied to many situations. Catching me drinking beer, speeding ticket, grades , spending my first check from a summer job at the go cart track ( I later realize how stupid that was), academic probation.

No matter what age I was,

Dad would look at me and shake his head and say, "boy, you're just shoveling shite in the sea."

When my kids started acting stupid I really understood my Dad.

I was expecting a poem

Unfortunately, my moment of realization came for me after my dad passed away.

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Unfortunately, my moment of realization came for me after my dad passed away.

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I had just started to realize my dad was right about a lot of things and knew what he was talking about when he died from leukemia at 49. He was a lot harder on me than my sister, but he also was the dad who worked 2 jobs and coached my baseball team on the weekends. I hope my boys look up to me like I did my dad as a child, and I hope I live long enough to see my boys have kids of their own that my dad missed out on

If this was a sincere post, then

I had a very, very good dad. Very supportive and kind to me until I was around seventeen and he remarried. From that point on I was effectively persona non grata. Unwelcome at his home. Before our estrangement I think he was a pretty wise old dude. I admired his stoicism. He had a lot of sayings but the truest was always “ don’t sweat the small stuff “. I hear that in my mind constantly . The other one is what he told me before I went out with my friends, and is what I always tell my kids because it resonates “ make me proud “. I haven’t spoken to him in sixteen years and he doesn’t know my kids.

Such is life.At least I still have my dear old Mum.

My dad worked all the time. On the week days I'd see him after work. On the weekends he was always working on something or doing yard work, etc. He was always the disciplinarian so there were certain things I would do in front of my mom, that she allowed, that if I did in front of my dad.. I thought he would whoop me.

But my dad was diagnosed with diabetes in his late teens. He was the party type and during his 20s he didn't take care of himself like he should have. He had a good job, worked for Albermarle, but when I was in 5th grade he had to start taking dialysis.

3 times a week he would get off of work and go to dialysis. On the weekends who would do as much as he could until he was wore out.

When I was a sophomore in HS he started to get really sick and from that point until he passed away the January after I graduated HS, he was in and out of the hospital. Sometimes weeks at a time, sometimes months at a time. So for most of my HS years my parents were not around. He had to go to the hospital in New Orleans, my mom was with him most of the time, but would come back for a few days at a time.

There are times when I look back and think about mistakes I made and know that many of them were because I had to deal with things on my own.

This is the point in my life when my friends became more valuable to me than anything and some of those friends I am still close to today. I have two half siblings, but they are 10 & 11 years older than I am.

My dad did teach me about life. He taught me to never let someone take advantage of me. He would hit home the whole "if its too good to be true, its more than likely is". Because of that, I think I think most people are full of shite.. almost to a fault. Which is why I question everything... to a fault.

My parents did allow me to find my own views on life. They never shoved certain political views down my throat. When I turned 18 and was able to vote, me going vote was more important than me voting for a certain person.

Same with religion. My mom is Catholic (and I was baptized Catholic) and she followed the beliefs of the Catholic church, but because I had family members from different religions I was taught that it didn't really matter what religion someone is. My mom would tell me everyone had the same goal, which was to get to heaven, my dad never talked about religion.

I think that he thought they were all crooks. I remember I was a kid when Jimmy Swaggart was in the news.. And he telling me to never get caught up in people like him.. bullshite.

When I got to the point where I was on my own a lot, I liked the freedom, but then I look back and realize there were things that missed or didn't understand the importance of because I didn't have my parents there to guide me. And that from my teenage years on, my experiences in life shaped me more than anything. A lot of times I didn't have someone there to tell me what I should have learned from mistakes i made.

I can go on and on, get into a lot more detail, but to answer the OP I have had moments when I understand what my dad meant when he told me certain things.. Or the reason why he did something a certain way, but there are a lot of people who live with the "well that's how I was taught" mindset.

Their political, religious, etc views are the ones that was taught to them and that's just how they go through life.. Looking at it through those lenses. And it is a struggle for some. In their mind, it is what they were always taught vs what they feel and have learned on their own..

But a lot of people have issues, look back on their life and wish things happened different, etc but the reality is, what has already happened, happened.. There is no point in thinking back about how you wish you would have done something a different way, etc. You just take what you have learned, it becomes a part of who you are.. And you keep moving forward and use it to guide you in a better direction.

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I can go on and on

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truer words......