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I need help dealing with my aunt

Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:47 am
Posted by I20 West
Member since Oct 2019
24 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:47 am
I haven't seen my aunt in a few years, but it appears I will see her this holiday season. I need some help to put this issue to bed.

Every 6 months she hits me or my brother up on social media asking why we don't talk to her son anymore. I typically just ignore it and don't respond. The other day she posted an article on her page about "Why cousins need each other."

She knows the truth, but continues to bother us. Her son is crazy. He has 3 baby mommas and doesn't pay child support. He has been arrested numerous times for stupid crap. I have another cousin that let him borrow money to get a car and my cousin left town with it and it got repoed after he got a DUI.

About 10 years ago he was 25 and living with his mom, step-dad, and sister. His family went out of town for Christmas and he stayed behind. They came back to a wrecked house. He threw a party with his sister's high school friends and it got out of hand. They put him on a bus the next day back to his hometown with no job, car, or place to live once he got there. I was living in my hometown at the time along with many other relatives. He drove us crazy for 2 years with death threats and just being a nuisance.

I finally cut off all contact with him 6 years ago after he made some racist comments on one of my friends' Facebook page. He doesn't even know them.

This post was edited on 10/16/19 at 11:05 am
Posted by TaderSalad
mudbug territory
Member since Jul 2014
24753 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:48 am to
How about this:

"Aunt, your son is ate up. I dont care for that in my life."
Posted by SuperSaint
Sorting Out OT BS Since '2007'
Member since Sep 2007
140462 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:49 am to
quote:

He threw a party with his sister's high school friends and it got out of hand.


Give him my number. I’d like to rsvp for next shindig.
Posted by Saskwatch
Member since Feb 2016
16647 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:49 am to
quote:

Every 6 months she hits me or my brother up on social media asking why we don't talk to her son anymore


Easy... block her arse on FB then tell her IRL that you don't want to be caught up in his frickery.
Posted by Space Cadet
Member since Sep 2019
446 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:49 am to
quote:

I haven't seen my aunt in a few years, but it appears I will see her this holiday season. I need some help to put this issue to bed.

Every 6 months she hits me or my brother up on social media asking why we don't talk to her son anymore. I typically just ignore it and don't respond. The other day she posted an article on her page about "Why cousins need each other."

She knows the truth, but continues to bother us. Her son is crazy. He has 3 baby mommas and doesn't pay child support. He has been arrested numerous times for stupid crap. I have another cousin that let him borrow money to get a car and my cousin left town with it and it got repoed after he got a DUI.

About 10 years ago he was 25 and living with his mom, step-dad, and sister. His family went out of town for Christmas and he stayed behind. They came back to a wrecked house. He threw a party with his sister's high school friends and it got out of hand. They put him on a bus the next day back to his hometown with no job, car, or place to live once he got there. I was living in my hometown at the time along with many other relatives. He drove us crazy for 2 years with death threats and just being a nuisance.

I finally cut ties with him 6 years ago after he made some racist comments on one of my friends' Facebook page. He doesn't even know them.



What can we do to help?
Posted by Pettifogger
Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone
Member since Feb 2012
79465 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:50 am to
"Because he's a frick up, a bad apple, a useless immature adult manchild and I have my own life that I won't let him drag down. If he wants to grow up and be a productive member of society I'll help him and be his friend. But blood ties don't mean I need to associate with destructive people."
Posted by Philzilla2k
Member since Oct 2017
11138 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:50 am to
quote:

How about this:

"Aunt, your son is ate up. I dont care for that in my life."

Yeah, doesn’t seem that difficult.
Posted by Flashback
reading the chicken bones
Member since Apr 2008
8354 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:50 am to
You're not very tolerant for having black friends on Facebook.
Posted by teke184
Zachary, LA
Member since Jan 2007
96815 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:51 am to
“Cause your son is a frickup and no one holds him accountable.”

If someone won’t get their shite together, don’t enable them.
Posted by Tiger Prawn
Member since Dec 2016
22031 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:51 am to
Just copy and paste what you just said here and send it to her.

quote:

He has 3 baby mommas and doesn't pay child support. He has been arrested numerous times for stupid crap. I have another cousin that let him borrow money to get a car and my cousin left town with it and it got repoed after he got a DUI.

About 10 years ago he was 25 and living with his mom, step-dad, and sister. His family went out of town for Christmas and he stayed behind. They came back to a wrecked house. He threw a party with his sister's high school friends and it got out of hand. They put him on a bus the next day back to his hometown with no job, car, or place to live once he got there. I was living in my hometown at the time along with many other relatives. He drove us crazy for 2 years with death threats and just being a nuisance.

I finally cut ties with him 6 years ago after he made some racist comments on one of my friends' Facebook page. He doesn't even know them.



Then tell her unless she wants to get blocked on your social media too, don't bring the topic up to you again


ETA: pics of aunt?
This post was edited on 10/16/19 at 10:53 am
Posted by LNCHBOX
70448
Member since Jun 2009
84464 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:51 am to
Posted by SEClint
New Orleans, LA/Portland, OR
Member since Nov 2006
48769 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:51 am to
Get him to sign up for TD
Posted by Space Cadet
Member since Sep 2019
446 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:51 am to
quote:

He has 3 baby mommas



I think this is the main issue, the rest is just filler. You're obviously jealous about your cousin getting laid. That's a YOU problem that we can't fix for you, only YOU can take a long look in the mirror and figure that one out.
Posted by I20 West
Member since Oct 2019
24 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:52 am to
quote:


You're not very tolerant for having black friends on Facebook.


Asian
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
66159 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:52 am to
Pics of said Auntie?
Posted by Gatorbait2008
Member since Aug 2015
22953 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:54 am to
Seems simple.

Tell her how you feel and that you do not want him in your life anymore because he is a bad apple. She can respect it or not. That isnt on you.
Posted by Ssubba
Member since Oct 2014
6640 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:54 am to
I've actually had the same conversation with my own aunt. I used to be close with my cousin, but over the years we've drifted apart, mostly due to him going down a bad path in his life. For the first couple of years I tried to play the 'savior' role, but eventually you just get tired of dealing with the individual. I'm still friendly towards him and will shoot him texts here and there, but the ball has been firmly in his court for a while now. He is welcome back into the fold anytime, he just has to take responsibility.
This post was edited on 10/16/19 at 10:56 am
Posted by Masterag
'Round Dallas
Member since Sep 2014
18851 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:54 am to
Tell her she’s being a hypocrite for passing him off on you and making you feel bad when she kicked him to the curb herself.

She’s got to find a way to deal with her guilt and not pass the buck to you, that’s not fair. She’s living in fantasy land where she can’t accept that her son is a POS and only he can help himself, or maybe she was a terrible parent and the catalyst of his downfall and both of them need to deal with their issues.
Posted by upgrayedd
Lifting at Tobin's house
Member since Mar 2013
135178 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:55 am to
quote:

Give him my number. I’d like to rsvp for next shindig.


We all know your ankle monitor won't allow you to attend
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124851 posts
Posted on 10/16/19 at 10:56 am to
Maybe tell her because her son is a worthless shithead and she should have raised him better. That he is disrespectful to family and hasn’t done anything to earn back your affection since
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