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Started By
Message
re: Dumbest thing your gf/wife has said
Posted on 9/1/18 at 9:51 am to ourkansastigah
Posted on 9/1/18 at 9:51 am to ourkansastigah
quote:
Just argued with mine over her saying 60mph was faster in my truck than her car b/c mine is V8 vs her V6
If this was true they'd have the same fuel economy.
2
Posted on 9/1/18 at 9:51 am to ourkansastigah
Her”What are y’all watching?”
Son”Sharknado”
Her”Oh, the documentary?”
Lol
Son”Sharknado”
Her”Oh, the documentary?”
Lol
Posted on 9/1/18 at 9:53 am to GRTiger
To be fair we have dudes here that think you get better mileage at 200 mph vs 50 mph
Posted on 9/1/18 at 9:54 am to drexyl
quote:
I feel bad for you fellas who married idiots
*Whom
Posted on 9/1/18 at 9:56 am to Rize
quote:
My wife rolled the window down as we were driving down the interstate, stuck her hand out the window and said “damn it’s windy out today”.
Goddamn that's rich.
Posted on 9/1/18 at 9:57 am to OysterPoBoy
Former SO called every interstate highway “the I-20”.
Posted on 9/1/18 at 10:00 am to ourkansastigah
"What day of the week does Thanksgiving fall on this year?"
Posted on 9/1/18 at 10:01 am to ourkansastigah
I have been keeping a running note on my phone of the things my wife has said over past 6+ years:
S*** Wife says:
WHILE IN SAN DIEGO
Me - "There's the Alamo place I was talking about over there" (referring to Alamo Rental Car in San Diego)
Wife - "Oh I didn't realize San Diego had an Alamo too."
ON JOHNNY MANZIEL
Me - "He looks weird because he has Syrian blood in him"
Wife - "Oh he's German?"
Me - "What??"
Wife - "Isn't that what Hitler wanted?"
Me - "You mean Aryan?"
Wife - "Oh yeah, that's it."
REFERRING TO CLEAR GORILLA TAPE
Wife - "Whoa, there's such a thing as clear, see-through tape?"
REMEMBERING A RECENT CONVERSATION:
Wife - "I was having a conversation with someone the other day...wait, no, I was just talking to myself."
GEOGRAPHY
Me- "They're Asian"
Wife - "No they're not, they're Malay-ian"
Me- "You mean 'Malaysian'?"
Wife - "Yeah, that!"
Me- "...that's still in Asia"
REGARDING AN AMBIDEXTROUS PITCHER
Me- "An ambidextrous pitcher made it in to pro baseball; he throws left handed and right handed. I'm sorry for explaining that, you know what ambidextrous means."
Wife - "Actually, I'm glad you clarified. My first thought was he was paraplegic and had no arms."
ON WAFFLE MAKERS
Wife - "We never had a waffle maker at home growing up...and [my life] has always kinda felt incomplete."
ON BEING IN A COMA
Wife - "What's the longest someone has ever been in coma and woke up?"
Me- "20 years I believe. Can you imagine being out for 20 years and waking up?"
Wife - "Oh I could...I love sleeping."
REGARDING A 10 YEAR WARRANTY
(She was 30 and I was 29 at the time of this entry)
Wife - "Ooh it has a 10 year warranty! That will last the rest of our lives!!"
PLAYING APPLE TO APPLES
(Word is 'appetizing' and wife is judge)
Wife - "Eww, I hate cockroaches. I choose cockroaches"
Her brother - "Um, the word is 'appetizing'."
Wife - "...ohhh"
PRONOUNCING "KANYE" WEST
Wife - "...Kim Kardashian did. And "Cayenne" West."
REFERRING TO "NIGIRI" SUSHI
Wife - "This is that Nicaragua style sushi right?"
REGARDING THE WICHITA MOUNTAINS NORTH OF LAWTON, OK
Wife - "The Wichita Mountains are part of the Rockies right?"
PREFERENCE OF TOILET PAPER
Me - "What type of Charmin toilet paper do you want?"
Wife - "Whatever makes my butt dry!!"
REGARDING SECRET ETHNICITY
Me - "Wait you like those [exceptionally large] car rims?"
Wife - "Yeah, I do. I'm actually black underneath."
PLANNING AN INTERNATIONAL TRIP
Me - "We could go to Cambodia."
Wife - "Is that in Africa?"
NEW ASIAN FUSION CUISINE?
Wife - "We donated Roman Noodles there once."
Me - "Ramen noodles?"
REGARDING CLIMBING MT. EVEREST
Wife - "Once you get to the top you should just use one of those big bubble balls just to roll down the mountain! Much easier than climbing down."
SPEAKING TO FRIEND WHO'S KOREAN
Wife - "Can you say that in Asian?"
REGARDING EATING TOO MUCH ICE CREAM
Wife - "Can you turn the air on please? I've got the cream sweats!"
REGARDING BUILDING A LINCOLN LOG TOY HOUSE
Wife - “Man, these logs are intense!”
DISCUSSING HOUSE COLORS
Wife - “You know white makes a house look bigger than it is. I mean, it makes my butt look bigger than it is...”
TALKING ABOUT MOVIES, JULY 2018
Wife - “How come Chris Farley hasn’t been in any movies in awhile?”
NIGHTLY SCHEDULED SPRINKLERS COME ON NEAR THE BACK PATIO
Wife - [taken by surprise] “Oh my gosh, I thought that was tear gas!!
S*** Wife says:
WHILE IN SAN DIEGO
Me - "There's the Alamo place I was talking about over there" (referring to Alamo Rental Car in San Diego)
Wife - "Oh I didn't realize San Diego had an Alamo too."
ON JOHNNY MANZIEL
Me - "He looks weird because he has Syrian blood in him"
Wife - "Oh he's German?"
Me - "What??"
Wife - "Isn't that what Hitler wanted?"
Me - "You mean Aryan?"
Wife - "Oh yeah, that's it."
REFERRING TO CLEAR GORILLA TAPE
Wife - "Whoa, there's such a thing as clear, see-through tape?"
REMEMBERING A RECENT CONVERSATION:
Wife - "I was having a conversation with someone the other day...wait, no, I was just talking to myself."
GEOGRAPHY
Me- "They're Asian"
Wife - "No they're not, they're Malay-ian"
Me- "You mean 'Malaysian'?"
Wife - "Yeah, that!"
Me- "...that's still in Asia"
REGARDING AN AMBIDEXTROUS PITCHER
Me- "An ambidextrous pitcher made it in to pro baseball; he throws left handed and right handed. I'm sorry for explaining that, you know what ambidextrous means."
Wife - "Actually, I'm glad you clarified. My first thought was he was paraplegic and had no arms."
ON WAFFLE MAKERS
Wife - "We never had a waffle maker at home growing up...and [my life] has always kinda felt incomplete."
ON BEING IN A COMA
Wife - "What's the longest someone has ever been in coma and woke up?"
Me- "20 years I believe. Can you imagine being out for 20 years and waking up?"
Wife - "Oh I could...I love sleeping."
REGARDING A 10 YEAR WARRANTY
(She was 30 and I was 29 at the time of this entry)
Wife - "Ooh it has a 10 year warranty! That will last the rest of our lives!!"
PLAYING APPLE TO APPLES
(Word is 'appetizing' and wife is judge)
Wife - "Eww, I hate cockroaches. I choose cockroaches"
Her brother - "Um, the word is 'appetizing'."
Wife - "...ohhh"
PRONOUNCING "KANYE" WEST
Wife - "...Kim Kardashian did. And "Cayenne" West."
REFERRING TO "NIGIRI" SUSHI
Wife - "This is that Nicaragua style sushi right?"
REGARDING THE WICHITA MOUNTAINS NORTH OF LAWTON, OK
Wife - "The Wichita Mountains are part of the Rockies right?"
PREFERENCE OF TOILET PAPER
Me - "What type of Charmin toilet paper do you want?"
Wife - "Whatever makes my butt dry!!"
REGARDING SECRET ETHNICITY
Me - "Wait you like those [exceptionally large] car rims?"
Wife - "Yeah, I do. I'm actually black underneath."
PLANNING AN INTERNATIONAL TRIP
Me - "We could go to Cambodia."
Wife - "Is that in Africa?"
NEW ASIAN FUSION CUISINE?
Wife - "We donated Roman Noodles there once."
Me - "Ramen noodles?"
REGARDING CLIMBING MT. EVEREST
Wife - "Once you get to the top you should just use one of those big bubble balls just to roll down the mountain! Much easier than climbing down."
SPEAKING TO FRIEND WHO'S KOREAN
Wife - "Can you say that in Asian?"
REGARDING EATING TOO MUCH ICE CREAM
Wife - "Can you turn the air on please? I've got the cream sweats!"
REGARDING BUILDING A LINCOLN LOG TOY HOUSE
Wife - “Man, these logs are intense!”
DISCUSSING HOUSE COLORS
Wife - “You know white makes a house look bigger than it is. I mean, it makes my butt look bigger than it is...”
TALKING ABOUT MOVIES, JULY 2018
Wife - “How come Chris Farley hasn’t been in any movies in awhile?”
NIGHTLY SCHEDULED SPRINKLERS COME ON NEAR THE BACK PATIO
Wife - [taken by surprise] “Oh my gosh, I thought that was tear gas!!
This post was edited on 9/1/18 at 6:36 pm
Posted on 9/1/18 at 10:06 am to okietiger
quote:
ON BEING IN A COMA
Wife - "What's the longest someone has ever been in coma and woke up?"
Me- "20 years I believe. Can you imagine being out for 20 years and waking up?"
Wife - "Oh I could...I love sleeping."
Just this morning my wife said, "ugh I wish I could just sleep forever and ever."
Me: You mean die?
More hyperbole than dumb, but we chuckled and your post reminded me.
Posted on 9/1/18 at 10:13 am to ourkansastigah
I'm guessing most of you picked looks over intelligence based on the posts I'm seeing.
At least I hope so. To be unfortunate looking and an idiot is a sad, sad combo.
At least I hope so. To be unfortunate looking and an idiot is a sad, sad combo.
Posted on 9/1/18 at 10:19 am to LSU Coyote
quote:
What? I know plenty of girls who do a little toot. They just don't freebase
But I will have a drink.
Posted on 9/1/18 at 10:23 am to cbree88
quote:
girls don't toot"
They don’t poop either. That hole is there solely to put my penis in
Posted on 9/1/18 at 10:25 am to okietiger
If I can do this, I could write a book! You are a wise man.
Posted on 9/1/18 at 10:27 am to ourkansastigah
I had a GF that said it was illegal for Obama to be President because he was Muslim. She went on to add the we are a Catholic nation and only Catholics can be president.
The said thing is she actually believed what she said.
The said thing is she actually believed what she said.
This post was edited on 9/1/18 at 12:14 pm
Posted on 9/1/18 at 10:31 am to ourkansastigah
Mine thought space ships gong into space were traveling to bases on the moon and other planets. I had to have her repeat it to make sure I understood her correctly
Posted on 9/1/18 at 10:32 am to okietiger
quote:
TALKING ABOUT MOVIES, JULY 2018
Wife - “How come Chris Farley hasn’t been in any movies in awhile?”
Posted on 9/1/18 at 10:33 am to JOJO Hammer
quote:
Obamacare to be President
quote:
we ate a Catholic nation
You two sound perfect for each other
Posted on 9/1/18 at 10:48 am to BestBanker
quote:
But I will have a drink.
But I don’t drink that tequila now cause when I drink tequila I beat up on Sally and it hurts me more than it does her when I whoop the shite out of her
Posted on 9/1/18 at 10:48 am to ourkansastigah
Ding ding ding....she wins the prize. That’s priceless! I’ve got to tell this one to my wife. She has her occasional blond moment, but damn.....
Posted on 9/1/18 at 10:50 am to celltech1981
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