Office Bathroom Horror Stories

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what the worst thing some of y'all have seen in the office bathroom.

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My own dick.

For some reason the women in my office have a difficult time flushing the toilets. I'll never understand how a grown adult shits in public and doesn't flush.

You would think the woman's bathroom would be clean, but i've heard stories that isn't close to anything i've seen in a men's bathroom.

There's a female executive who blows up the toilet every time she uses the restroom. It's awkward to make eye contact with her post-explosion.

We've also got a fella or two who flush their underwear down the toilet, which leads to our 10 story building flooding. Three pairs were found in the pipes the last time this happened.

Had my gallbladder removed a while back and the Doc jacked up my surgery. Now I poo 4+ times a day -- which can obviously be awkward in an office environment.

Work from home now. Much more convenient.

Get wet wipes. Much more pleasant experience.

We had a mystery pooper. Some guy would leave a turd randomly throughout the plant an average of once a month. We have no cameras and have no idea who is doing it.

A client shat all over the seat, hid his stained drawers behind the toilet, and made his escape without telling anybody. We have it narrowed down to two or three suspects.

One of our clients was complaining about the toilets clogging in a building that we built for him. Me and the boss head out there, and the office is all women. We ask him if the women are flushing their tampons/pads/whatever. He says that they aren't.

So, the boss heads to the cleanout closest to the building, and I open the cleanout closest to the street. He uses a water weenie (a rubber tube that connects to a garden hose, that swells and creates a lot of back pressure to clear clogged drains). Me and the buildings owner witness a football sized lump comprised of tampons, pads and shite come shooting down the pipe.

Moral of the story: the owner bought special garbage cans for the ladies to dispose of their feminine products.

Not horror, but a couple of buddies sent a bottle rocket into the ladies bathroom, when a girl friend of theirs went in to do her business. It did not end well..