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re: Is anyone else extremely paranoid about dating apps?

Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:09 pm to
Posted by SidewalkDawg
Chair
Member since Nov 2012
9824 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:09 pm to
quote:

Except I messed that up, too! I got married at 23. At least I didn't further deplete my value by having a couple kids, I guess.


It's never too late to jump on that dick carousel and make some bad life choices.
Posted by terriblegreen
Souf Badden Rewage
Member since Aug 2011
9684 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:10 pm to
quote:

With your 25% success rate, how many legitimate guys messaged you vs how many did you ignore?


No doubt. It's a numbers game.
Posted by Brosef Stalin
Member since Dec 2011
39321 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:11 pm to
quote:

Her biological clock is ticking and if she wants to have kids of her own she has to find a man to commit.

Any woman riding the cock carousel throughout her 20s already has a few kids.
Posted by Evil Little Thing
Member since Jul 2013
11270 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:14 pm to
That is true. But the carousel gets more pathetic with age. I'm not going to be a desperate cougar at Cadillac Cafe when I'm in my 40s. I can at least keep what's left of my dignity when I'm home with my cats after my boyfriend dumps me for someone younger.
This post was edited on 4/6/17 at 4:15 pm
Posted by terriblegreen
Souf Badden Rewage
Member since Aug 2011
9684 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:15 pm to
quote:

I figured about this point I would ask about exclusivity, just to be turned down.


One thing I've learned is you have to communicate and you have to do it early. As an example, I have a rule that I would never get married without dating for two years first. I have this rule because my ex and I got married after one year. However, I think people don't really totally open up until that second year. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's my deal. Anyway, I will tell women on the first date that I'm all for marriage, but I won't rush into anything. And the only reason I do this is because some of the women I've dated previously have put the full court press on to get married early in the relationship. Basically, what I'm saying is don't be afraid to ask questions and tell guys what you are looking for.
Posted by Bamagirl15
Moody
Member since Nov 2016
389 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:20 pm to
You are starting to depress me with this 40s talk. Lol

My problem is finding a man with stability and in the same place in life I am. Maybe I should try this cougar stuff lol JK
Posted by Evil Little Thing
Member since Jul 2013
11270 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:21 pm to
I'm in my mid-30s I'm just bracing myself for the inevitable.
Posted by goldennugget
Hating Masks
Member since Jul 2013
24514 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:21 pm to
quote:

FML



I phrased it wrong

What I am saying is that women in their late 20s/early 30s are not as attractive as women in their late teens/early 20s.

That is who women are competing with for the higher value men. Women in their late 20s/early 30s are not competing against other women their age for the higher value men their age, they are competing with younger women in their prime.

So if you are a high value man ready to settle down and get married would you pick a woman past her prime, or in her prime? That's what Derek Jeter did. He picked a girl 15 youngers than him, in her prime, to marry, instead of a woman closer to his own age past her prime.

This is why women get angry and shame men in their mid 30s who date girls 10-15 years younger than them and call them creeps and such. It's not because its wrong or the men are creepy, its because the women are jealous that the men are going for younger women instead of them. So they try to turn it into social shaming. But lets be real. Most women when in their mid 20s, if a high value man 10 years older than them wanted to commit, they would do so in a heartbeat. Most women fricked/dated older men when they are younger. They just get mad when the tables turn.
Posted by goldennugget
Hating Masks
Member since Jul 2013
24514 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:23 pm to
quote:

Anyway, I will tell women on the first date that I'm all for marriage, but I won't rush into anything. And the only reason I do this is because some of the women I've dated previously have put the full court press on to get married early in the relationship.


Never tip your hand about marriage with a woman. Changes the dynamic.

Also the reason women want commitment so fast is that they want the resources. A women not interested in your resources will not try to rush commitment. A woman will try to rush marriage only if she is looking to use you as an ATM machine, whether in marriage, or for the eventual divorce. So many women marry simply for the sperm, to pop out a few kids, then divorce and take half of what he is worth. And they plan it that way from the get go.
Posted by Evil Little Thing
Member since Jul 2013
11270 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:25 pm to
Nah, I get that. I've never gotten mad about my dating prospects. I haven't really been single since I was 21, apart from a short period while divorcing, so there weren't really periods to reflect on my declining desirability or get angry at men for bypassing me. I'm pretty realistic about what I can and can't pull at my age.
Posted by LouisianaLady
Member since Mar 2009
81268 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:31 pm to
quote:

So many women marry simply for the sperm, to pop out a few kids, then divorce and take half of what he is worth. And they plan it that way from the get go.


I agreed with your post above, but I don't agree with this at all. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but this is hardly the majority IMO.

The more likely truth is that a frickton of women don't have the self-awareness to truly know what they want, so they get married and have kids and wake up one day realizing their husband (and the life with him) is no longer what they want.

People in general don't have self awareness for shite. They date/marry people that they're wildly incompatible with because they never question themselves deep down. People in relationships should be questioning every single day if they are 100% happy and honestly challenging themselves.. IMO, of course :)

My old high school boyfriend is about to go through a divorce with a girl who is 24 and has already been divorced once. It is clear this chick just wants to play house and then gets bored and leaves. The guy before him was a trashball, and my ex became handicapped in a motorcycle accident 2 years ago and lives on disability .. so it isn't like this chick is getting money from either one. Just another idiot who rushed into marriage because she wanted the house, kids, etc. and didn't put effort into it being with the right person.
Posted by goldennugget
Hating Masks
Member since Jul 2013
24514 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:39 pm to
quote:

LouisianaLady



You aren't wrong

A lot of marriages fail because the guy lets himself go. He becomes fat, lazy, and is no longer the man the woman fell in love with.

The opposite happens to. The women becomes fat, lazy, and is no longer the woman the man fell in love with

The issue is that the man will be socially pressured to stay married, if he leaves her he will be called an evil jerk. And he is also financially pressured since he has a lot to lose in a divorce. The woman will get encouragement to divorce from her friends("YOU DESERVE BETTER!" and YOU GO GIRL!") and has financial incentive to do so as well because divorce courts are tipped in the woman's favor.

In other words, its not socially or financially acceptable for a man to divorce. It is socially and financially OK for a woman to divorce.
Posted by dcs930
Baton Rouge, LA
Member since Sep 2011
14 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:42 pm to
quote:

Women in their 30s who are mad about the options they have for a long term relationship and marriage should have thought twice about that in their 20s prime years when they were rejecting commitment from men left and right because they wanted to "find themselves"


What about the one's who wanted to finish college, chase their career, not get knocked up, marry ole boy from the woods and be divorced by this point. Yes, I would admit that I passed off committments to subgrade men because I didn't want to be a statistic. A 30 something single mother struggling to make ends meet, with no time or mental capacity to go to school in hopes to get a decent job. I rather be a 30 something single women, with a good job, good credit, time and money to travel, and a house full of cats to go home to. Haha! Just Kidding, I only have 1 cat.

quote:

Problem is they want commitment from said high value men who they are physically attracted to. The problem is those high value men don't want anything to do with committing to her, because she is past her prime and these men can get younger pieces of arse instead


Maybe I need to expand my cap age limit...
Posted by goldennugget
Hating Masks
Member since Jul 2013
24514 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:43 pm to
quote:

Nah, I get that. I've never gotten mad about my dating prospects. I haven't really been single since I was 21, apart from a short period while divorcing, so there weren't really periods to reflect on my declining desirability or get angry at men for bypassing me. I'm pretty realistic about what I can and can't pull at my age.



You might not but a lot of women do

I got shamed in Seattle when I would go out with 20/21 year olds and I was 28. Just a 7-8 year difference yet it was as if I was some creep. And who was doing the shaming? Women my age or slightly older, most of them single, as well as the boys around the age of the 21 year old who were competing for this girl's attention as well.

I think the best path for a woman in her 30s isn't to settle for some man around her age she isn't attracted but feels compelled to just because she doesn't want to be lonely, to but to perhaps look toward older men in their upper 30s/40s. While there are some men in their 40s who can pull women in their 20s most can't so they will go for the youngest women they realistically can get, which is women in their 30s.
Posted by GetEmTigers08
Mississippi
Member since Dec 2007
1236 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:44 pm to
Nail on the head, my friend.. nail on the head. I rarely comment on TD but I think you deserved a response. I've spent many lost hours trying to reason with myself why the women in my life have done some of the stupid shite they have done. In the end, I never really knew but ultimately realized they go through this life never learning self-awareness. A lot of people in general go through life never really learning self awareness. It's one of those ignorance-is-bliss type of subjects but I believe the benefit of being very self aware outweigh the cost. It really pisses me off when I find myself in a situation where I know the course of it would go differently if the person would just think harder about what's going on and how's its ultimately affecting everything besides themselves.

Unfortunately, most people don't have the self-awareness to know that, or to ever know that.
This post was edited on 4/6/17 at 4:47 pm
Posted by goldennugget
Hating Masks
Member since Jul 2013
24514 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:47 pm to
quote:

What about the one's who wanted to finish college, chase their career,


This is why feminism has been so toxic. It tries to convince women that they can both have a successful career AND land the man of their dreams and be a good mom/family woman. I am not saying that women who work are bad but if a woman wants to focus on her career she needs to accept the fact that when she is finally ready to settle down in her 30s that the pickings for men are not going to be very high quality.

Women in their 20s need to make a choice - you can focus on your career, or you can focus on having your ideal marriage/family.

quote:

I rather be a 30 something single women, with a good job, good credit, time and money to travel, and a house full of cats to go home to.


That's fine. Just realize you probably aren't going to land the man of your dreams and have your ideal family if you go this route. Ignore what feminism tries to tell you

quote:

Maybe I need to expand my cap age limit...



See my post above. It's not the worst idea. Men in their 30s, are either already taken/married. If not, if they are attractive, will go younger. So you are left with lower value men. Most women your age don't want to date younger. So that really leaves you with men in their upper 30s/40s.
Posted by bamafan1001
Member since Jun 2011
15783 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:48 pm to
at what Tinder has become.

Jenna 26

Im a proud mommy of three(only one black), wine connoisseur, professional nanny. I dont do hookups!!!

If you arent 6'2 or taller dont bother. Need to have stable, high paying job. Say something interesting...but not sexual or suggestive. I may or may not respond cause im super busyyyy.

Posted by Evil Little Thing
Member since Jul 2013
11270 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:49 pm to
quote:

Maybe I need to expand my cap age limit...


My BF is 8 years older than me, fwiw. Haha.

Posted by goldennugget
Hating Masks
Member since Jul 2013
24514 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:50 pm to
quote:

Nail on the head, my friend.. nail on the head. I rarely comment on TD but I think you deserved a response. I've spent many lost hours trying to reason with myself why the women in my life have done some of the stupid shite they have done. In the end, I never really knew but ultimately realized they go through this life never learning self-awareness. A lot of people in general go through life never really learning self awareness. It's one of those ignorance-is-bliss type of subjects but I believe the benefit of being very self aware outweigh the cost. It really pisses me off when I find myself in a situation where I know the course of it would go differently if the person would just think harder about what's going on and how's its ultimately affecting everything besides themselves.



Women leave men because a better option came along. It's called Briffault's law. That's the main reason why women leave a man. Women never swing to a branch that doesn't exist. A better/more exciting option came along. As soon as that happens, the man they are with becomes invisible and she convinces herself she never liked him, was never attracted to him, and he is a worthless piece of shite. It's the same reason why women try to destroy men in their wake when they leave a relationship/marriage. If they are able to break the man, they will be able to say "Look at how pathetic of a loser he is! See? I made the right choice!!!"
Posted by goldennugget
Hating Masks
Member since Jul 2013
24514 posts
Posted on 4/6/17 at 4:52 pm to
quote:

Im a proud mommy of three(only one black), wine connoisseur, professional nanny. I dont do hookups!!!



I don't do hookups translation: Are you a pathetic beta who will wilt and move on at the sign of this sentence, or will you give no fricks and hit me up anyway? I do do hookups, for the right guy!

quote:

If you arent 6'2 or taller dont bother. Need to have stable, high paying job. Say something interesting...but not sexual or suggestive. I may or may not respond cause im super busyyyy.



Translation: I am looking for an ATM machine to pay for my bastard children.
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