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re: March is the time to celebrate Dad Jokes
Posted on 3/20/17 at 6:24 pm to thedogman
Posted on 3/20/17 at 6:24 pm to thedogman
I was walking with my fiancée yesterday past a Saab car parked on the side of the road. I pointed at it and said "I have a story about that car. It's a real sob story."
She laughed.
We then approached a Chevy Trailblazer. I pointed at it and said, "that car was one of the first of its kind, a true trail blazer." She sorta laughed and told me to stop it.
We then approached a Dodge Ram. I pointed at it as said, "this car has an onboard computer, has a ton of RAM." She was legitimately upset and demanded I stop.
She laughed.
We then approached a Chevy Trailblazer. I pointed at it and said, "that car was one of the first of its kind, a true trail blazer." She sorta laughed and told me to stop it.
We then approached a Dodge Ram. I pointed at it as said, "this car has an onboard computer, has a ton of RAM." She was legitimately upset and demanded I stop.
1
Posted on 3/20/17 at 6:27 pm to OweO
quote:did your dad not realize you don't have any motion in your lower half? Wtf? What a dick!
Son! Its not the size of the ship, its the motion of the ocean
Posted on 3/20/17 at 6:32 pm to thedogman
Did you hear that police arrested a guy who couldn't spell?
They caught him in a warehouse.
What's the bad thing about watching a soccer match in Warsaw?
No matter where you sit, you're always sitting behind a Pole.
They caught him in a warehouse.
What's the bad thing about watching a soccer match in Warsaw?
No matter where you sit, you're always sitting behind a Pole.
Posted on 3/20/17 at 7:07 pm to tss22h8
A three legged dog walks into a bar, looks around and says,"im in here for the man that shot my paw"
Posted on 3/20/17 at 7:09 pm to Mud_Till_May
My son came home one day and told me that he had sex with his teacher.
I said really son? How was it?
Good, but it made my butt hurt.
I said really son? How was it?
Good, but it made my butt hurt.
Posted on 3/20/17 at 7:12 pm to Mud_Till_May
A mexican reporter crys racism. The cop replys what does my point of view have to deal with you stealing tom bradys jursey?
Posted on 3/20/17 at 7:47 pm to Ellssu
quote:
trying to hard
Not trying enough.
Eta- dammit. Too late.
This post was edited on 3/20/17 at 7:49 pm
Posted on 3/20/17 at 7:48 pm to Lion Monticello
Posted on 3/20/17 at 8:15 pm to thedogman
Did you hear about the guy who swam halfway across the lake then got tired so he turned around and swam back - My Dad
Posted on 3/21/17 at 8:21 am to 75503Tiger
Why couldn't the Witch get pregnant?
Because her husband had a hollowweenie
Because her husband had a hollowweenie
Posted on 3/21/17 at 8:34 am to thedogman
Two guys walked into a bar...the third guy ducked.
Posted on 3/21/17 at 9:01 am to madmaxvol
I bought shoes from a drug dealer once. I dont know what he laced them with, but I was trippin all day.
Posted on 3/21/17 at 9:03 am to thedogman
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.
A stick.
Posted on 3/21/17 at 9:11 am to thedogman
Every time we pass train tracks...
Train must've just passed... How do you know dad...?
You can still see the tracks....
Train must've just passed... How do you know dad...?
You can still see the tracks....
Posted on 3/21/17 at 9:17 am to thedogman
I actually told the greatest dad joke of my life the other day.
Woman was wearing green socks on St. Paddys day that said "Pinch Me".
I tell her, "that doesnt make any sense. You get pinched if you ARENT wearing green. Those socks are a contradiction. In fact you could say that pair of socks...is a paradox."
Then i just looked around at the distain and beautiful non-laughter and gave the ole 'Haahhh? ehhh??? ammirite?"
God damn it got me excited for the whole fricking day. Beautiful.
Woman was wearing green socks on St. Paddys day that said "Pinch Me".
I tell her, "that doesnt make any sense. You get pinched if you ARENT wearing green. Those socks are a contradiction. In fact you could say that pair of socks...is a paradox."
Then i just looked around at the distain and beautiful non-laughter and gave the ole 'Haahhh? ehhh??? ammirite?"
God damn it got me excited for the whole fricking day. Beautiful.
This post was edited on 3/21/17 at 9:18 am
Posted on 3/21/17 at 9:18 am to thedogman
My wife misses me, but her aim is getting better
Posted on 3/21/17 at 9:18 am to thedogman
Almost 81 year old grandfather told me this gem a little over 12 hours ago.
Him-"What's the difference between an old man and a young man?"
Me-"I don't know, what?"
Him-"Its not hard..."
Me-"Jesus Christ"
He then proceeds to laugh his old arse off. Love that man.
Him-"What's the difference between an old man and a young man?"
Me-"I don't know, what?"
Him-"Its not hard..."
Me-"Jesus Christ"
He then proceeds to laugh his old arse off. Love that man.
Posted on 3/21/17 at 9:21 am to OweO
Here we are having a nice time with the dad jokes, and the posters who can't go 5 minutes without being center of attention have to come in and frick it up
Posted on 3/21/17 at 9:26 am to Pettifogger
My daughter loved this one:
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because 7 8 9
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because 7 8 9
Posted on 3/21/17 at 9:31 am to anc
What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
Roberto
Roberto
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