Let's hear your DUI check stories

Getting home safely was a non-issue since I was safe to drive as evaluated by a police officer

Zero. Fortunately I don't live somewhere that practices this nazism.

This won't go well for you.

quote:

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Just got pulled over. I was really nervous but still dominated the road test. The officer legitimately could not do 2 of the tests he was demonstrating for me. I was then told that I had found my limit for driving. My balls are still in my throat My dumbass was on my phone and all over the lanes fwiw. Not sure how I didn't get a ticket honestly, but it was not a sobriety issue

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Your mom made a terrible decision when she didnt swallow you.

I was in a really bad accident last year. I mean really bad. I wasn't drunk or anything but I still had to do the tests. I was freaking out every time I didn't do any of them 100% right

If you're doing something that causes you to drive so recklessly that people just assume you're impaired you probably shouldn't do that thing behind the wheel.

Me and a few of my buddies worked at one of those fine establishments inside of tigerland. One night, after we had all been drinking on the job (shocker I know), we decide to late night at one of ours houses. We all jump in our trucks and take off. Little known to us is there is a checkpoint set up about a mile from this guys house. The person in the first car drove straight thru it so when everybody else got to the house we all assumed that they would be in jail and we started working up a plan to get them out in the morning. About 5 minutes into planning, here they come walking up with all the beer we had bought for the late night and huge smiles on their faces. We asked wtf happened and they said the convo went like this..

Cop: "I see you boys have been drinking a little this evening."

My buddy: "Yessir we just got off work from (said bar) and decided we would like to get as drunk as some of our patrons this morning. These are our first beers. (Bold faced lie)"

C: "Y'all work there?! Tell (said owner of bar) that I said hey! But I need y'all to do me a favor, first, before I let y'all go."

MB: "Sure thing. What do you need?"

C: "Y'all see that guy standing at the end of the road and checkpoint? I need you to drive down there and tell him "Quit eating so many donuts you fat MFer!!" And then speed off."

MB: "I don't know officer it feels like we're being set up."

C: "I give you my word that nothing will happen to you. And I have witnesses. You can even have my badge number."

...So they carry out said prank and drove straight to the house where we binge drank the beer until about 7 am.

I ended up in jail multiple times. Great fun.

You should've been hauled off in the paddy wagon for texting and driving. Another example of cops not giving a frick about it unless they can use it as a DWI add-on ticket