re: What was your shortest job?

Lasted one month as a valet for casino rouge.

Drove one car a night. Would hang out the shack down river road and play dominos

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I'm not a little bitch and quit a job the second I dont like it. Do some research beforehand on the job, it's a pretty shitty thing to do.

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And this is the Internet. Trying to act like a big man with strong morale compass is pointless because no one believes you. And if we did, we still wouldn't give a sh*t.

3 weeks picking at a Wal-Mart DC center...dry side.

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It was 7am to 7pm, 6 days a week. I got the hell out there after a week.

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Puss.............

Does leaving right before an interview started count?

Waiting tables in a sorority house. I didn't know only the fat ones came to dinner. The hot ones stayed in their rooms binging and purging. I only lasted two days.

lettuce picker

One job only and it was 42 years. Retired I am!

3 months. I closed on a $7 million project (2X my annual quota) within my first three months to one of my customers that I'd been working with for many years and had a great relationship with.

The national sales manager said to me, in a conference call two days later, a call that included all the other Senior Account Managers, Regional Sales Managers, VP of Sales and VP of Business Development,

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"Congrats on closing this deal, but this is not the kind of business that we want. We want you to go out and open the small businesses and the small deals that create a regular churn. This kind of business creates headaches for us as it takes a lot of time and coordination that takes us away from servicing the smaller accounts that are our bread and butter. I don't want you chasing this kind of business. We hired you to develop the region the way we want it done, not the way you want it done."

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After the conference call, I was really pissed. I called my account and told them what I'd just been told. He said, quit, go somewhere else, and we'll close the deal with you there, just make sure it's someone who can handle the business properly and who appreciates it for what it is.

I thanked him, hung up and then my next call was to call the national sales manager, tell him that I quit, on the spot, and would send him all company items (computer/phone/demo gear) by end of day. I told him that I didn't want to work for someone after being personally embarrassed by him after closing such a large deal.

Later that afternoon, the purchaser sent them a letter rescinding their purchase order. I wasn't under any non-compete agreement and it took me one week to land a new position with better pay and benefits, and then I brought in the business to my new employer, who was, of course, ecstatic for the business I could bring.

They threatened a lawsuit over it, but my new employer, a much, much larger company with very deep pockets told them to bring it. I had the relationship before going to work for them and it was not an account they had ever done business with previously. They backed down and all's well that end's well.