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Anthropologist explains why we cheat on people we love
Posted on 4/7/15 at 3:48 pm
Posted on 4/7/15 at 3:48 pm
There's the sex drive, which is like an "intolerable neural itch," to get us out searching for a range of partners to help pass on our genes. There's romantic love, which helps us focus our mating energy on one person. And then there's attachment, the calm and security we feel with a long-term partner so we can raise children with them as a team.
However, those three brain systems, sex drive, romantic love, and attachment, aren't always connected to each other.
So it's possible to feel deep attachment to a long-term partner at the same time you feel intense romantic love toward someone else and even also feel sexual attraction toward another person, Fisher said.
"In short, we're capable of loving more than one person at a time," Fisher said.
And that's why, Fisher says, some people may cheat on their partner.
It's why someone can lay in bed at night thinking about deep feelings of attachment to one person and swing to thoughts of romantic love for another person.
"It's as if there's a committee meeting going on inside your head as you try to decide what to do," Fisher said. "I don't think honestly that we're an animal that was built to be happy — we're an animal that was built to reproduce. I think the happiness we find, we make."
This all sounds like a cynical take on love, but Fisher says that, despite all these straightforward and unavoidable biological processes, there's still mystery and "magic to it."
LINK
However, those three brain systems, sex drive, romantic love, and attachment, aren't always connected to each other.
So it's possible to feel deep attachment to a long-term partner at the same time you feel intense romantic love toward someone else and even also feel sexual attraction toward another person, Fisher said.
"In short, we're capable of loving more than one person at a time," Fisher said.
And that's why, Fisher says, some people may cheat on their partner.
It's why someone can lay in bed at night thinking about deep feelings of attachment to one person and swing to thoughts of romantic love for another person.
"It's as if there's a committee meeting going on inside your head as you try to decide what to do," Fisher said. "I don't think honestly that we're an animal that was built to be happy — we're an animal that was built to reproduce. I think the happiness we find, we make."
This all sounds like a cynical take on love, but Fisher says that, despite all these straightforward and unavoidable biological processes, there's still mystery and "magic to it."
LINK
Posted on 4/7/15 at 3:50 pm to RedRifle
Darwin, nature, and science explained this a loooooonnnnggg time ago.
Love, marraige, monogamy are all made up human bull shite trying to defy how nature intended us to live.
Love, marraige, monogamy are all made up human bull shite trying to defy how nature intended us to live.
Posted on 4/7/15 at 3:51 pm to RedRifle
Bookmarked.
I'm gonna use the "biology" defense from now on. It's not my fault!!
I'm gonna use the "biology" defense from now on. It's not my fault!!
Posted on 4/7/15 at 3:51 pm to RedRifle
How many threads do you start a day?
How many are not shitty?
How many are not shitty?
Posted on 4/7/15 at 3:51 pm to RedRifle
quote:
sounds like a cynical take on love
Yes it does.
Posted on 4/7/15 at 3:52 pm to DirtyMikeandtheBoys
quote:
Love, marraige, monogamy are all made up human bull shite trying to defy how nature intended us to live.
yet we have thrived going against how nature intended
kinda interesting
Posted on 4/7/15 at 3:52 pm to DirtyMikeandtheBoys
humans aren't the only monogamous animals on the planet....
we are however incredibly selfish animals. that is why some people cheat.
we are however incredibly selfish animals. that is why some people cheat.
Posted on 4/7/15 at 3:53 pm to DirtyMikeandtheBoys
quote:
Love, marraige, monogamy are all made up human bull shite trying to defy how nature intended us to live.
It also tends to be more ideal for raising a family.
Posted on 4/7/15 at 3:54 pm to Salmon
Posted on 4/7/15 at 3:54 pm to RedRifle
Scientist is clearly advocating a return to the free love era. Bring back the 60's!
Posted on 4/7/15 at 3:57 pm to DirtyMikeandtheBoys
quote:
Love, marraige, monogamy are all made up human bull shite trying to defy how nature intended us to live.
Humans are nature. Therefore, any human creation is "nature," including marriage.
Marriage does not "defy nature" as it is a part of nature.
Not that I'm defending the institution or anything.
This post was edited on 4/7/15 at 3:58 pm
Posted on 4/7/15 at 4:02 pm to RedRifle
quote:
"In short, we're capable of loving more than one person at a time," Fisher said.
I agree with this, but we can choose to commit, completely, to one person and stay true to that.
At least I can and have.
quote:
I think the happiness we find, we make.
I don't see any credibility in an argument that is counter to this. Everyone, with few exceptions, is almost 100% in control of whether or not he or she is happy. There are a few with chemical imbalances and other issues outside their control, but by and large happy people will be happy because they want to be (for lack of a better term) - and miserable people are just that - miserable people.
I don't make the rules, just commenting on what I have experienced and observed.
Posted on 4/7/15 at 4:04 pm to RedRifle
Don't put me into this " we" crap nope.
So what they saying is you people cheat because you love them.. Interesting
So what they saying is you people cheat because you love them.. Interesting
Posted on 4/7/15 at 4:05 pm to Salmon
It's the illuminati or the babalonian brotherhoods fault. They set up these standards to defy nature and keep the human population in check. Otherwise we would breed like rabbits.
Posted on 4/7/15 at 4:09 pm to Scireverum
quote:
Otherwise we would breed like rabbits.
Or, would rabbits breed like us?
THINK ABOUT IT!
Posted on 4/7/15 at 4:12 pm to Displaced
quote:
we are however incredibly selfish animals. that is why some people cheat.
He just explained why people cheat. It's biological. What's selfish got to do with it?
Posted on 4/7/15 at 4:20 pm to RedRifle
People in love don't cheat.
Posted on 4/7/15 at 4:39 pm to Ace Midnight
Off topic but would you give me the backstory on your sig images please? Are those the soldiers from the helicopter crash?
This post was edited on 4/7/15 at 4:41 pm
Posted on 4/7/15 at 4:47 pm to DirtyMikeandtheBoys
quote:
Love, marraige, monogamy are all made up human bull shite trying to defy how nature intended us to live.
Or maybe love, marriage and monogamy are ways that we overcame "nature" to form civilization.
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